


Well, that's okay, baby, Only words bleed - Whumptober 2020

by Fangirl_in_distress



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies), Shadowhunters (TV), Supernatural, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Isle of the Lost (Disney) is a Terrible Place, Multi, Parabatai Feels, Triggers, Violence, Whump, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:54:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 43,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_in_distress/pseuds/Fangirl_in_distress
Summary: Ficlets for Whumptober. Warnings for each chapter inside. Below, the prompts and Whumpees in each chapter. Prepare to watch our favorite characters suffering!1: Waking up restrained/Hanging - Simon Lewis2: "Pick who dies"/Kidnapped - Jace Herondale and Alec Lightwood3: Held at gunpoint/Forced to kneel - Dean Winchester4: Caged - Magnus Bane (+ Alec)5:Failed escape - Evie6: "Get it out"/No more/"Stop, please" - Carlos de Vil7: Support/Carrying - Jace Herondale (+ Simon)8: Abandoned - All the VKs9: Ritual sacrifice - Sam Winchester10: Blood loss/Trail of blood - Alec Lightwood11: Crying - Carlos de Vil and Jay12: Broken bones - Isabelle and Alec Lightwood13: Delayed drowing - Sam Winchester14: Heat exhaustion - Carlos de Vil15: Possession - Alec Lightwood (+Magnus)16: Forced to beg - Alec Lightwood17: Dirty secret - Carlos de Vil18: Panic Attacks - Gil (Descendants)19: Grief - Sam & Dean Winchester20: Medieval - Alec Lightwood21: Hypothermia - Jack Kline22: Withdrawal - Sam Winchester23: Exhaustion - Carlos de Vil24: Blindfolded - Carlos de Vil
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Evie/Mal (Disney), Jay/Carlos de Vil, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 32
Kudos: 212
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. My girlfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Let's hang out sometime  
> Summary: Simon gets kidnapped by a warlock and Izzy is not happy about it.
> 
> Hey, guys! This was supposed to be drabbles only but every single one of them ended up with 1000 words or a little more, so... Anyway, it's my first time participating on Whumptober, so I hope you like it♡ Story tittle from the song Photograph, and you can probably guess which song the chapter tittle is from. This chapter is the most lightheartened one because I wanted to start easy. Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: Kidnapping, threats of violence, magic violence, minor character death off-screen.

  
"Seriously?" Was the first thing to come out from Simon's mouth as he woke up. "Again? What is it with everyone from the shadowworld wanting to kidnap me?"

"You're up already, that's great." The woman said. Between her red eyes and small black horns Simon could take an educated guess and say she's probably a warlock.

He was restrained with thick ropes and hanging upside down. He felt a little thirsty but nothing to worry about just yet.

The restraints may be thick, but Simon was a vampire. He could break them if he tried hard enough. He only needed that woman to look the other way, and speed away from wherever they were.

"You know, if I was you, I wouldn't be trying to leave." She said, as if she could see his thoughts. "It's not the wisest decision."

"And why's that?" Simon asked. She might be underestimating his abilities. He's not the same lost boy who got turned over a year ago, he's got training now.

"Because as long as you stay put, I don't have to hurt you." The warlock explained, her voice a lot softer than her words. "But if you don't behave, I'll be forced to kill you."

Simon wasn't scared. He's not new to this, if she wanted to kill him, he wouldn't be there alive and breathing, well, he's not but that's another thing, hanging in the middle of her living room. She had plans for him.

That woman was really good at reading people, since she realized her threat didn't work on him.

A red magic fire-ball exploded on the wall at the end of the room, getting real close to Simon's head in the process. Close enough that Simon could feel the smell of a small strand of hair burning.  
Well... maybe Simon was a little scared now. The warlock seemed satisfied.

"What do you even want with me?" He asked. "Is it something about the daylighter thing? Are you working for a vampire? You know, you need me alive for that."

"I have some... unfinished business with Isabelle Lightwood." She explained.

"And you decided to kidnap her boyfriend?" He asked. He had the tendency to run his mouth when in distress. "Not the smartest way to run a business."

"Well, I needed to bait her into meeting me here somehow." She went on. "And it's hard to get to her brothers. So you'll have to do."

"Ouch." He said. "I'm not even your first option?" He mocked sadness. If he wasn't still slightly dizzy and, you know, hanging upside down, he might have used this time to think of an escape plan.

The woman promptly ignored him.  
"Well, she should be here at any moment now." She said. "She gave such an insolent reply to the fire message I sent, though."

'That's my girl.' Simon thought. Well... that did help calm him down. If that warlock had alright given Izzy the address, then it was only a matter of time until she got here, breathing fire with a whip on her hand.

He was sure his girlfriend could and would crush this woman's neck. Still, he would prefer if she didn't have to go through the trouble.

Isabelle could handle this. But Simon was still a huge fan of not getting her into possibly dangerous situations, if he could help it.

"If you go now, you might be able to escape." Simon advised. "That's your only chance of leaving as a free person. Maybe your only chance of leaving alive."

The woman looked possessed and he got worried she was going to hit him with magic, for real this time.

"Are you threatening me?" She asked. "Do you honestly think you're in a position to do so?"

She grabbed his hair firmly, and yanked his head hard enough to hurt so that she could look at his face in a better angle. Simon gulped, but decided not to back down, despite the fear.

"I'm not, but if you think Izzy is going to let you get away with this..." He started explaining, but was cut by a noise coming from outside the room.

The woman smiled, clearly not seeing it as the danger it clearly was. Her biggest mistake was, doubtless, underestimating Isabelle Lightwood.

"It seems my guest is here!" She said, letting go of Simon. "Don't worry, I might let her live if she agrees to my conditions."

She turned her back and left through a big wooden door. It didn't take long for Simon to hear Izzy's voice, the tone she only used when she was truly livid.

The warlock said something he couldn't quite understand, and what could only be described as battle sounds were all that followed for the next few seconds; loud thuds, muffled threats, pained screams.

Simon used the extra time to try to escape his restraints, which were stronger than they looked. Honestly, he thought he wouldn't have any more trouble with these kidnapping stuff.

He also thought it wouldn't happen anymore, now that he was trained, and a daylighter on top of that. And yet, there he was.

He managed to break the ropes around his wrists, which was already a big relief. He didn't fully realized how uncomfortable those were until he was finally free.

His feet were way more complicated. Again, all of his blood was going to his head and he was still dizzy from being unconscious.

He eventually did it, and it was just his luck that the moment he fell graceless on the floor was the moment Izzy kicked the door open, and her and Alec entered the room.

"Don't laugh." He said, still not making a move to stand up. "I would like to keep some of my dignity today."

Izzy had a worried expression on when she arrived, but at that she relaxed instantly, a grin on her face.  
She got closer and offered a hand for him to take.

"I'm so glad you're alright." She said. "That woman was crazy. I had no idea what she could be doing to you."

Was. Past tense, as in 'she's dead now'. Well, Simon didn't pity her at all. In fact, he warned her this would happen, she was just overconfident.

"I'm fine." He promised. "What did she even want with you?" Izzy had never mentioned a feud with a red-eyed warlock before.

"I think I arrested her and her lover a while back?" She explained, not remembering all details all too well. "I barely remember her name."

Before Simon could add anything, Alec tossed a blood bag to him, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there. Well, it was his standard look unless Magnus was involved.

"We thought you might be hungry." It was all Alec offered. Well, they were right, he could use the drink after all that stress.

Alec looked the other way, but Izzy looked at him fondly. As if Simon was cute to her even with a mouth-full of blood.

"You know, remember when I told you I was getting tired of saving your life?" She asked and Simon nodded, of course he did. "It might have been true, but you don't need to worry. I'll still do it every time you need me to."

It made his heart warm.  
"I know. I'd do the same for you if, you know, you had half my tendency of getting myself kidnapped or in other impossible situations." He promised.

"Maybe one of these days we'll exchange roles." She said, bringing him closer. "And then you'll need to save me."

"I would. But I really hope it doesn't happen." He said. "If one of us has to be kidnapped, restrained, possibly scared or injured, I would choose it to be me. Without a doubt, a thousand times over."

She pecked his lips slightly, choosing to ignore that they were still bloody. They both also promptly ignored Alec's grunt of disgust. 


	2. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Alec get kidnapped and told only one would survive. Good luck trying to make this self-sacrificing duo choose which one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the hands of the enemy
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the first one. Today it's also for the Shadowhunters fandom. I just really love Jace and Alec's brotp so I'm going to hurt them here. It's mostly emotional whump. Chapter title from the Parabatai oath. Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: self-sacrificing, talks about death, brief mention of children dying, brief suicide idealization, twisted science.

"You see, boys. You are now part of an experiment." The man said. "My study will change the way we perceive human interaction."

"Oh, yeah. This little nerdy stuff seem real cool." Jace said, not containing the sarcasm in his voice. "Why don't you let us go so we can discuss it?"

Jace and Alec were kidnapped, and now both were chained, on opposite walls of what looked like a small basement. Neither had ever seen the kidnapper before.

"Unfortunately, I need you like this or my experiment won't work." The man explained. "It's not personal, but some sacrifices have to be made in the name of science, don't you think?"

"You're a shadowhunter." Alec pointed out, looking at the rune on the man's neck. He was wearing a lab coat, so it was the only visible one. "Why are you doing this?"

The man touched his own neck lightly, as if he had almost forgotten that the mark was there at all.

"Oh this? Yes, I'm a nephilim, but I cut all ties with your world ages ago." He answered. "It was the best thing I ever did, really."

"So you simply ran away?" Jace guessed. "Couldn't take being a shadowhunter, so now you kidnap and make experiments on us?"

"The world outside of Idris had more to offer." He explained. "But, no. The experiment isn't about nephilim specifically. In fact, I was sticking to mundanes only until today. When I saw you two fighting together... I knew you had to be part of this."

Jace rolled his eyes. He wasn't liking this at all. Even for a kidnapper, that man sounded awfully crazy.

"So... what? You want to fight with us?" Jace asked. "You know, you'd have to free us from these things for that."

"I was referring to the way you two connect when battling together. You're clearly parabatai!" He seemed enthusiastic. "There's no connection bigger than this one, no bond deeper. You two might be the most important step of my study."

"Are you going to tell us what this study is about or...?" Alec trailed off. Honestly, he didn't give a damn, but he wanted to buy time. Maybe someone would find them soon.

"The instinct of self-preservation versus the love bonds of a familial relationship in human behaviour." He said, looking every bit like the mad scientist he was.

Jace was confused, but Alec already had his suspicions about what that could mean and they weren't comforting.

"You're going to have to talk in english, buddy." Jace said. "We've been here for what, a whole day with no water or food? I can't process all this talk like this."

The man grinned, as if that was the cue he had been waiting for all that time. He walked towards a small table on the end of the room, and got a sharp dagger.

"It's simple. I'm going to kill one of you, and you two get to decide who." He explained, playing with the blade in his hands. "If you don't get to an agreement, I'll just have to kill both."

They didn't say anything, just went wide eyed and felt each other fear through the bond.

Jace gulped. This was supposed to be a simple mission, they didn't even needed back-up, just the two of them against a single demon shax. And killing it was indeed easy... defeating the mad man in front of him seemed more complicated.

"How... how many mundanes have you killed?" Alec asked. "The very people you swore to protect."

"My experiments were many, all of them for the greater good." He said. "The results are so utterly interesting and varied. So far, spouses have the tendency to try to save themselves, sibling vary immensely and parent-child, if both are adults, tend to try to save one another."

He sounded so happy with his twisted science, it made Alec's skin crawl.

"If both are adults? You mean you did this to children as well?" He asked, clearly disgusted.

"Well, of course. Age is an important factor. For example, younger children and adolescents tend to be more selfish and save themselves, which matches with their parents intentions of sacrificing themselves for their children." He explained. "Interesting, no? Well, let's see what happens when the subjects are two parabatai."

Both stayed silent. What do you even answer to that? No logic could be applied to someone that murdered children to prove a theory.

The man took a few steps forward.  
"Nothing to say, uh?" He asked. "I guess I'll have to start with this one, then."

He grabbed Alec by the hair, exposing his neck. He touched the skin with his dagger, but only slightly. Only enough that he could feel it.

Alec has a few people in his life he would do anything for, including dying. Magnus, Izzy, Jace and Max were the people that made his life complete and he would gladly sacrifice himself in exchange for the safety of any of them.

So, all he did was clench his jaw in anger, not trying to escape the man's grasp at all. If he needed to die in order to protect Jace, he was on board with dying.

The thing is, Jace was _not_ on board with letting him die.

"No, no!" He yelled. "Don't kill him, alright? Please, just... don't." He focused on activating his strength rune with his angelic powers.

He even managed to do it, but being dehydrated and hungry, the rune wasn't enough to make him break heavy metal stains.

The man pressed hard enough to draw a thin line of blood, and that was enough for Jace to know what he needed to do.

"Kill me instead, ok?" He asked firmly. "You can kill me... just leave him alone."

"No! Jace, don't give him what he wants." Alec pleaded. "Don't do this."

The man walked away from Alec, closer to his brother, still holding the dagger firmly.

"The only thing I want is for you two to reach an agreement." He said. "Who lives, who dies? It's not that difficult of a question."

"Me. I die, he lives. just... go on, kill me." Jace rushed to say. "Listen to me, alright? Don't listen to him."

"Fuck, no! He has no idea what he's talking about." Alec tried to convince him. "Come back here, it's me that you want."

The man kneeled beside Jace, seeming deep in thought. Doubtless, this sick experiment was really important for him.

"Your parabatai has a different idea, hm, Jace, right?" He said. "Why don't you try to convince me then? That you're the one who's supposed to die?"

This little game got more and more twisted each second that passed. Jace answered the first thing that crossed his mind.

"He's got someone home waiting for him to come back." He said. "I don't. I'm alone."

"Is that true?" The man asked. Alec didn't answer, but it was clear by the way he tensed up when Jace mentioned his relationship.

"Since Clary... forgot everything, there's no one for me." He talked directly to his parabatai. "You still have Magnus. Think about him, he'd be crushed if something happened to you."

Alec had to close his eyes and take a deep breath. Jace was right, and it pained Alec just to imagine Magnus suffering. He loved that man more than anything.

But as much as Magnus would grief and be sad if Alec passed under these conditions, he would _understand._ If there was something that Alec could always count on was his lover's ability to try his best to understand Alec's world.

Magnus may not be a Nephilim, but he knew, in theory, what the parabatai bound meant, to a Shadowhunter in general, and to Alec, specifically.

So, yes, he would mourn, he would cry, maybe he would be mad or feel empty for a while, but in the end, he would understand.

There were people Magnus would sacrifice himself to save as well.

"Well, an epic love story is a good reason to live." The man agreed. "What do you think? You agree with your parabatai?"

"Don't kill him." Alec dodged the question. "Kill me. Jace is... he's special. He has pure angel blood and abilities that the Clave never saw before. Killing him would be a loss to all nephilim."

The man raised an eyebrow at that. Pure angel blood? He may be distant from the shadow world recently, but he knew this was a big deal.

"That's certainly interesting." He conceded, looking Jace up and down. "How did it happen?"

"I was injected with it when I was still in the womb." He said. "Let Alec go, and then you can make experiments with me. I'm sure angel blood is a lot more unique than the behaviour thing you're doing."

He rolled his eyes, as if Jace's request was absurd.

"As I said, I cut ties with your society ages ago. I want nothing to do with the angels." He insisted. "What I want is to finish this research. And I'm not giving up when I'm so close to getting it right."

Jace sighed. For a second, he genuinely thought they had a way out, but now they were back at square one.

He had no idea how to convince Alec to just let him go, let him die. He knew Alec was stubborn, but he was even more.

"Alec, please... just go with it. Think about Magnus, Izzy, Maryse..." Jace tried again, hitting where it hurt the most. "They wouldn't want you to die."

Alec scoffed.  
"Oh, really? You think mother and Izzy would be okay with you dying?" He asked. "They wouldn't, Jace. You matter to them, you matter to us."

Jace could feel his eyes watering against his will. He didn't want that creep to see him cry, but the raw emotion in his brother's voice was too much.

"I know, but... I'm not backing down on this, Alec. Don't make it harder than it already is." He pleaded. "I died for a greater good before, I can do it again."

"You mean you already died once." Alec said. "Maybe it's my turn now."

"The clock is ticking, you two. As endearing as this is, we have a goal here." The man warned. "Decide now or you both die."

Both were desperate by now. Their chances were slim to none, and they had minutes, maybe seconds to reach an impossible agreement.

"Jace, it's either you agree or we both die, alright? I'm not leaving you here to die." Alec insisted, talking quickly. "Please, just say yes."

He shook his head.  
"Alec, I'm okay with dying for you, but not with us both dying. I'm not going to get out of here alive, but you get to choose if you die as well..." Tears fell from his beautiful eyes as he begged. "Please, I'm begging as your parabatai. Please, let me die for you."

Alec shook his head, letting tears slide down his cheeks as well.  
"I can't, Jace." He said. "I'm sorry but I can't."

They were both doomed. Too much love to let the other die, too much stubbornness to save themselves.

"Well, that's a shame." The man said, getting up and quickly walking to Alec. "You'll both die, then."

Jace screamed for him to stop, to let his brother go, but he knew it was in vain. That was a man with a mission.

All Jace could do was close his eyes, screwed shut. There was no way to stop it, but he sure as hell wasn't going to watch. If he kept them like that, at least he was going to die without ever seeing Alec's corpse.

However, instead of skin being sliced or pained screams, he heard two loud sounds in rapid succession. The second one seemed like an explosion.

Jace didn't really want to, but he slowly opened his eyes to see Magnus standing there. A few feet away from the magically burned remains of what once was their kidnapper.

"Alexander!" Magnus exclaimed, voice and expression full of worry. He ran to check on his lover. Alec looked more stunned than anything.

"Thank the angel..." Jace whispered. He felt like he could finally breath again.

Magnus snapped his fingers and both shadowhunters were finally free of their chains. He kneeled down beside Alec and checked on the small slice on his neck.

"Mags... " He smiled. "Thank you for saving us. By the angel, I'm so glad you're here." They hugged tightly, the amount of relief going through both filling the entire room.

Magnus was so fucking tired of feeling like they were running out of time together. Every time there was a mission, he had to pretend he wasn't worried to death that his Alexander might be harmed.

"I was so afraid I was going to lose you. I love you so much." He said into Alec's shoulder. "Please, don't scare me like that ever again."

"I'll try. And I love you too." Alec said, pecking his lips lightly. "What's important is that we're all alive now."

"Please, let me heal this for you." Magnus said, pointing to his neck, but knowing damn well he was going to refuse. So fucking stubborn.

"I can do it as soon as I find my stele. There must be a lot of magic involved into frying a guy like this." He pointed to the twisted corpse at the corner. "I promise it's nothing bad."

Magnus didn't like the answer, but he nodded and turned his attention to Jace, who was still sitting on the ground, looking exhausted.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. "Do you need me to heal anything for you?" Jace shook his head. He was physically fine.

Magnus knelt down beside him and gave him a hug as well. Jace returned it, really awkwardly. His brother-in-law wasn't always this affectionate with him.

"Getting soft in your old age?" He tried to make a joke, but his voice sounded raw and tired.

"Contrary to popular belief, Jace, I do not find you a nuisance. Well, not all the time." Jace snorted. "Anyway, I do not want you to die."

"Because Alec would be in pain?" He guessed. Magnus frowned, and opened his mouth to answer, but Alec was quicker.

"Because you fucking matter!" Alec shouted. At Magnus's worried stare, he tried again. "Hm... I'm sorry, it's just that..."

There was a tension in that place that Magnus did not know how to describe. But by the way Alec and Jace avoided looking each other in the eye, they needed to work through it.

"Well, I'm going to look for your steles and weapons upstairs." He decided to leave the two alone for a bit. "I'll be back soon."

He left quickly, but the two nephilim wasted a few seconds in silence, before one of them spoke up.

"You matter too, you know?" Jace said, voice soft. "You matter to me, to Magnus. To our family. To so many people, Alec."

"I know. I... I don't want to die, alright? It's just... I need to keep you safe, Jace." Alec promised. "I lost you once, but Clary and Raziel brought you back to me and now I can't lose you again, Jace."

"I don't... want to die either. When Clary first went away I kind of wanted to, but now not anymore." Jace explained. "But I also couldn't live without you. You're my brother, my parabatai and... I couldn't allow him to kill you."

Alec opened his arms and Jace was quick to run into them. They both cried, clutching to each other like they would drift away if they didn't it.

Alec knew what the physical pain of losing Jace felt like, supposedly the worst pain a shadowhunter can feel. It was terrible, indeed. But what happened today?  _Knowing_ he was about to lose Jace and not being able to do anything? It was actually worse.

Thank the angel, and Alec's loving, powerful lover, that everything was fine again. So Alec just hugged his parabatai tightly, and let the overwhelming feelings wash over him.

On the other end, Jace mentally prayed to Raziel as he hadn't done im ages, since was child, and thanked him again and again for not letting Alec die.

Actually, Jace did feel like a child again, waking up from a nightmare about broken fingers and harsh words, only to be comforted by the warm embrace and soft tone of his new brother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! See you tomorrow.


	3. You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger's mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a misunderstanding in this hunt and Dean ends up kidnapped by the wrong kind of monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My way or the highway
> 
> Dean Winchester Whump, everyone. It's not as emotionally whumpy as I usually write, but it's here. Title from the song Copycat. Enjoy! ♡  
> WARNINGS: Gun violence, canon-typical violence.

Humans were the worst.

The weird abductions happening at that small town, leaving no body but a lot of blood behind, had seemed to be their kind of case when Dean read about it on the newspaper. 

It turned out, it was just a serial killer. An evil man with a gun and a farm big enough to bury lots of corpses. Unfortunately, Dean only discovered that when it was too late.

'Too late' being once the killer fucking kidnapped him, under the belief that Dean was a real FBI agent sent there after him. 

So, yeah. Humans were the absolute fucking worse.

"So... how close were you to finding out it was me?" The man asked, still holding firmly on the gun. "How much longer was it going to take? Days, weeks, months?"

Dean sighed. They were not very close, since until half an hour ago, he thought the murderer was a completely different type of monster. 

"Your name wasn't even listed as a suspect." He said instead. "No one thought you had the guts to do it."

Of course, Dean did get a punch for trying to be funny, but he knew it was a possibility. Still worth it.

"You're not as funny as you think, you know?" The man said, rolling his eyes. "Go get that shovel over there, let's see how brave you really are."

"Oh, making me dug my own grave? How original." Humor was Dean's number one coping mechanism, sue him. 

"You know, you're really lucky we don't have a lot of time. I'd love to make this pretty face unrecognizable." He said. "I bet you'd be way more fun than any of the others. Now, dig."

Dean had to bite back another snarky remark, and just do what he was told to, for once.

He tried to dig slowly, so that he could make a good plan and save himself some time. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure if Sam was going to be able to find out this guy was the bad guy in time to save him.

They interviewed him once, but the guy didn't seem suspect at all. But then again, they had been looking for signs of a mythological creature or something.

"C'mon, dig faster or I'll shoot anyway." The man complained. "I'm not letting you buy time for your partner to find you. Don't worry, I'll go after him soon enough."

The guy was getting really cocky, thinking he could get away with killing two federal agents. Yeah, they weren't really, but he didn't know that.

"This is really stupid of you, you know?" Dean said, still digging. "No one knew it was you. You could have just waited for things to cool down and then moved away."

"I could, yes. But it's better to make sure, you know?" The man insisted. "Can't spend the rest of my life wondering how much they know."

"Well, you idiot, you think killing an FBI agent will help at all? They're just going to send more people after you." Dean reminded him. "You're putting a target on your own back."

The man seemed to consider this for the first time, and Dean mentally scolded himself for letting this absolute moron kidnap him. 

"Well... not like I'm letting you go now." The man shrugged. "That's enough. You can stop digging."

Dean froze. That wasn't a good sign, if the digging was over, then so was his time to find a way out. 

He stopped what he was doing and slowly dropped the shovel on the ground, not wanting to startle the murderer. 

"Get on your knees." The man instructed, but this time Dean refused to obey. "Didn't you hear me? Get on fucking your knees."

The man was standing behind Dean with a gun pointed to the back of his head. He had the intention to kill whether or not he cooperated, so Dean chose to preserve his dignity, at least.

He didn't obey angels, demons or even God if he could help it. A mere man with a gun would be no different. 

"Yeah, I'm not doing that, buddy." He answered, still looking ahead, without facing the kidnapper. "You're just going to shoot anyway, I'm not listening to you."

He did shoot.

Dean felt a sharp pain in his leg, losing his balance and almost immediately falling on his knees. The fucker had shot his leg. 

God, it had been a while since the last time he got shot and Dean had not missed it. Worst than that was the humiliation of ending up on his knees after insisting he wouldn't do it.

"You fucking son of a bitch..." He spoke under his breath, the pain stopping him from trying to say too much. 

The man just laughed, amused with his suffering.

"I'll see you in hell, agent." 

Dean had a... complicated relationship with death. Both Death, the entity, and death, the concept of dying. And he was definitely not ready to die yet again. 

He didn't close his eyes, as he heard the man about to shoot again. Dean would just soldier on and hope that this time he could at least go to heaven.

He heard the sound of a gun shot, but didn't feel anything. Dean didn't even need to look to know what had happened. 

"Well, you really took your time, Sammy!" He complained, turning to see his brother standing a few feet away from the body of his kidnapper.

That fucker did look a lot better with a bullet wound on the side on his head. Dean hoped hell had the worst demons waiting for him. 

Sam rolled his eyes, kneeling down to help Dean with his wound. It looked as bad as it felt.

"I literally left you alone for five minutes, Dean. Five minutes and this happens." He vaguely gestured to everything around them. "Damn, this looks bad. Maybe we should ask Cas to heal it?"

Dean shook his head. 

"No, it's fine." He insisted, even though he couldn't get up on his own. "I don't want to worry him."

"You're really insufferable... please, don't bleed to death while I call your boyfriend." Sam joked, already reaching for his phone. Dean just rolled his eyes, but at least he didn't complain again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything turned out fine... Hope you enjoyed it. Please, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. I'll see you guys tomorrow!


	4. You'll never see me cry, there's just no time to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Circle members get to Magnus and Alec is running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Running out of time
> 
> Title from the song No time to die. I gotta say, this is whumpee!Magnus but there's also a lot of emotional whump regarding Alec trying to find him, so it's basically all Malec whump. Hope you like your favorite couple being hurt as much as I do. Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: Bigotry, mentions of genocide, canon-typical violence and prejudice, murder and torture off-screen

  
The guy was dead.  
The circle member they captured, their only possible lead, was dead. His blind devotion to The Circle drove him to suicide.

Now, they were back to square one and Alec was about to lose his fucking mind.

"Alec, this is only a setback." Izzy reminded him. "We're still going to find him. It's been two days, we still have time."

Most people thought that after Valentine's death, the Circle and everything they believed in was going to slowly die down as well. Unfortunately, all they did was become more messy.

Many different sub-groups started to rise. Most of them were easily caught and punished, as disorganized as they were it wasn't that difficult. Some however, were particularly harder to stop.

This group, especially, was guilty of organizing countless hate crimes against downworlders, including kidnappings, torture and murder. The Institute had been on their tail for a while now, but they were smart and difficult to find.

Alec had already been stressing about them for weeks, putting more and more soldiers on the case every time something happened and doing his best to gather more information. Four days ago, however, things got much more personal.

They raided a downworlder bar on the other side of town, killing over twenty people and kidnapping other ten. One of those ten was Magnus Bane.

Alec felt so fucking _guilty_. It had been the birthday of one of Magnus' old acquaintances and he asked Alec to go with him. Unfortunately, Alec got _too_ _busy_ at the Institute and decided he wouldn't go. He could have been there, could have helped, could have prevented that even.

But he didn't. He didn't and now no one heard from Magnus or the other nine downworlders for four days.

They knew the rogue group was probably torturing or experimenting on them, thanks to Valentine's teachings. It was only a matter of time until bodies started to show up.

The circle member they just lost was the only one who could give valuable information and now they had absolutely nothing once again.  


Alec was running out of time and he knew it.

"Alec." He heard his sister calling out in a soft voice. "We're going to find him. There are still some possible circle hideouts we haven't checked."

The thing is, he knew they would eventually find out the hideout. He trusted his team, he knew they were capable of doing it. But would they do it in time for saving all those people, to save _Magnus?_

Alec sighed.  
"Did you check the evidence from the scene again like I asked?" He chose not to address what she said. It hurt to talk about it in any way other than strictly professional.

Thankfully, Izzy didn't press further.  
"Yes, but nothing new came up." She answered. "Clary is still mapping all bodies of water in New York."

"That is, if they're even in New York." Alec reminded her. "They have four warlocks with them, they could have portaled anywhere in the world."

"I don't think so. I checked data from all over the country and called many other Institutes." Isabelle revealed. "No attacks with this specific group pattern ever happened outside the state. I really think they're a local group."

That was possible. But maybe, even as a local group, they would run away and set another base distant from there since the attack they just did was the largest and most complex one.

It didn't seem logical to stay in the state, much less in the city. But then again they were talking about genocidal people and, as a rule, those didn't really makes sense.

He startled as Isabelle touched his shoulder lightly, sympathy written all over her face.  
"We'll find him soon, Alec " She insisted. "Don't lose hope."  
  
•••

The cage was rather uncomfortable.

Not small enough that he couldn't stand up, but certainly too small to be able to walk more than two steps in each direction. It didn't help that there were special handcuffs around his wrists, made to contain a warlock's magic.

There were nine other cages just like his on that cold basement. By now, four of them were empty.

It felt like things got worst everyday. Magnus knew how many days had passed, because everyday the kidnappers would pick someone and spend the whole day torturing them. The ones who were picked never came back to the basement.

It was maddening, standing in that little space, looking at all the hopeless faces around him and listening to the agonizing screams coming from another room.

"You think they're going to kill all of us?" A seelie woman asked. She was beautiful; shining dark skin, long hair and graceful vines on her face.

Magnus had never seen her before that night, but he did suppose that getting kidnapped together was a good reason to form some kind of bound.

"I think that is their intention, yes." He had no intention of sugar-coating it. They were there because those people wanted them dead. "But I don't think all hope is lost."

"Who's going to save us, though? The shadowhunters?" She let out a shaky laugh. "When have they ever cared about downworlders? They probably think us dying is a good thing."

"I'm aware that some of them do, and unfortunately, it isn't a small group. But I trust the leaders and the best soldiers of the New York Institute." Magnus said. "Some shadowhunters, maybe even most, hold beliefs very close to the circle, but not those ones."

She got deep in thought for a second, as if considering Shadowhunters as allies for the first time.

"You really believe the new Head of the Institute has more progressive views about downworlders?" She asked. "He says he does, but I don't know if I trust him. Do you?"

Magnus snorted.  
"I have to." She looked at him with confusion showing on every feature. "Wait, you really don't know who I am?"

The girl shook his head and Magnus opened his mouth to answer that he was _the_ Magnus Bane, when the door was opened.

Two circle members came in, disgust showing clear in their faces as they watched the downworlders in the room.

Well, that probably meant they were getting to the fifth day already and that the vampire they tortured the day before was already dead. They were there to get their next target.

The moment one of the men looked at Magnus' direction with that evil gleam in his smile, the warlock knew he had been chosen.

If he thought being in the cage was humiliating, then not being able to use his powers or fight properly because of the cuffs as he was being dragged away to being tortured was absolutely soul-crushing.

They had to call a third circle member to help contain him and strap him to a chair. There was no way Magnus would go down without a fight.

They had a table with multiple tools that looked fairly intimidating and a few papers with many notes. So they might be doing experiments instead of torture, Magnus thought.

"Let's see how brave you are without your demoniac powers to help you, warlock." One of them said, smiling wickedly.

Magnus immediately spat on his face, not even thinking about it. The way those people let hatred consume then, the way they really believed they were superior because of their blood... it was disgusting.

The action got him a slap across the face, but it was completely worth it. Those people deserved a lot worse.

"Let's see how much of that bravado is left once we're done with you." Another man said, getting a syringe from the table and getting closer to Magnus.

He had no idea what the black substance contained there was, but it couldn't be anything even remotely good, if the screams he had heard for the past four days were any indication.

Magnus just closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, getting himself ready for the pain.

He quickly opened them once he heard the door being kicked open, just in time to see the man in front of him get an arrow in the middle of his forehead. Well, it _was_ a little satisfying.   


Alec, Jace and Isabelle were there. They fought the other two circle members quickly, and effective, both enemies died impaled in seraph blades in a few moments.

"Such perfect timing, Alexander." Magnus tried to keep the situation lighter, even though his hands were shaking.

Alec looked like he was ready to cry at any moment, he ran towards Magnus and began undoing the staples and getting him free.

Jace and Izzy left to help the other downworlders get out and also to hunt down any circle member that was still left there.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, _so_ fucking sorry I took so long." He said, desperate. "I had no idea where they could be hiding and I felt like I was running out of time...I promise I'm never letting this happen again. I was so scared, Magnus."

He thought 'so was I', but wisely decided against it. Alec was already feeling guilty enough.

He grabbed Alec's face, awkwardly because he was still in the anti-magic cuffs, but gently as well.  
They would probably need to look for the keys in the pockets of the dead nephilim later.

"I'm here, alright? I'm alive." He reminded his lover. "You saved me. You saved me and other people as well. You did it. You got here right on time, darling."  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! It was extremely satisfying to imagine the circle member with an arrow in his skull tbh🤷 Comments and kudos give me life!


	5. Mamas don't love their kids like they used to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Evil Queen has some unfair rules. Evie tries to break one of them, but gets caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where do you think you're going?
> 
> First one for Descendants. I realized that, even though I absolutely love Evie, I never hurt a lot in fanfic? So here we have the Evil Queen being a shitty parent. There's also Malvie and Jaylos happening here, but it's pretty quick. Title from birthing addicts (this song goes so well with Isle parents omg). Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️Warnings:⚠️Child abuse, violence, bigotry and prejudice, sexism, insecurity, really brief mention of sexual harrassment (blink and you miss it). IF THEMES OF ABUSIVE MOTHERS TRIGGER YOU, PLEASE DON'T READ. Be safe, always.

  
Evie had a plan.

It wasn't an overly complicated one. All she needed to do was wait until her mother started her beauty sleep, and then leave the house as quietly as she could.

You see, the Evil Queen recently decided she didn't want her daughter running around with Maleficent's spawn.

After all, that girl wasn't lady-like, didn't seem to care about her appearance and would surely end up manipulating Evie like she did with everyone. No, the Queen wouldn't allow such a bad influence corrupt her daughter.

It didn't help that Jafar's boy and Cruella's runt were also part of their wicked little group. If Evie truly wanted a prince to ever notice her, she needed to stay away from other boys. And don't hit her with that "only friends" non-sense, the Evil Queen _knew_ what men always wanted.

All in all, none of those three were good enough for Evie, good enough to be in her presence. Her mother had worked too hard raising her all of these years to let a bunch of rebellious kids ruin it.

But that's not how Evie saw things...

Jay was funny, and loyal enough to pick up a fight if someone tried to hurt a person he cared about. Carlos understood her better than anyone and she felt like she could tell him everything.

They were her _friends._ She didn't understand why her mother was so worried this would make a prince think she was less pristine, just for hanging out with other guys. It's not like Jay or Carlos would even _want_ to do anything with her, since they only had eyes for each other.

And then there was Mal... she was everything Evie's mother warned her not to be, to stay away from. But she was still the one person Evie couldn't imagine living without.

The way she felt drawn to Mal was different than anything she had ever felt before. She knew Mal felt different about her too, since she was always softer with Evie than with anyone else, even Carlos.

Mal was a leader and she always took care of those under her care. She might not sit there and urge you to cry on her shoulder, but will get up and absolutely fuck up the person who dared to hurt you.

But she wasn't delicate, or royal-like and yes, she was beautiful but not in the obvious 'I'm desperately trying to be pretty' way that Evie's mother taught her all girls needed to be.

So, the Evil Queen forbad all contact between Evie and her friends, going as far as forbidding her to go to school. 'Princes don't care if you know chemistry or biology, they care if you can cook, sew and look pretty, my child.' she had told her.

But after a whole week of obeying her mother's orders, Evie decided enough was enough. She couldn't let her mother keep her away from the world, not after she found the people she wanted to experience it with.

The Evil Queen had a perfectly organized schedule, especially when it came to her beauty sleep. That day, she was supposed to take a longer nap, so Evie would try to go to school and at least attend one of her classes.

And everything would have gone well if it wasn't the fact that, despite not being exactly mother of the year, the Queen did _know_ her daughter.

Evie managed to gather her stuff, it wasn't much, but still more study material than most kids on the isle were granted.

She checked her mother's room and saw she was already sleeping, so Evie decided it was safe to escape. Unfortunately, her mother was just pretending to be asleep, setting her up for a trap.

Evie managed to get to the door, completely quiet, and turn the key to open it. There was already a smile on her face for finally going outside again after a whole week, when she heard a voice.

"Going somewhere, my child?" The woman asked from behind her, making her blood run cold. "I knew you wouldn't be able to stay from those wretched brats."

Evie turned to face her mother slowly, knowing that there was very few things she could say to try to undo the harm. Running away was _not_ very princess-like.

"I'm sorry, mother." She whispered. "I just wanted to go to school." Not a lie, but not the whole truth either.

The Evil Queen was having none of it. She grabbed her daughter's hair forcefully, enough that she knew it would cause pain.

"Don't think I don't know you want to see that purple haired freak." She yelled. "And regardless of your reasons, you still disobeyed me. Do you think a prince would want a disobedient little deviant by his side?"

"No, mama. I'm sorry, mama." Tears started to spill from her eyes, and she tried desperately to stop them. "I just... I didn't want to stay stuck here."

That made her mother yank her hair even harder, rage clear on her face.  
"Stuck here? You mean safe and protected here." She spitted out. "Away from boys who will tarnish your reputation and girls who will be bad influences."

She finally let go of her hair, and Evie was thankful for the small mercy. She knew she had fucked up for real this time.

"B-but, Mama... Jay and Carlos want nothing to do with me like _that."_ She tried to explain, knowing it was in vain. "And, Mal... she's...s-she's especial, mama."

Her mother pushed her hard at that, making her back slam against the wall just as hard. Evie just cried harder, and allowed herself to fall to the ground.

"Stop crying, child!" She demanded. "It will ruin your makeup. You're already dumb if you think any of them care about you, you definitely don't need to be ugly as well."

Evie had been trying to stop since she started crying, but she couldn't.  
"I'm so-sorry... " Was all she could say, feeling utterly miserable on the floor.

"Sorry doesn't cover you lying to me, you disobeying me." The woman insisted. "What is it? Do you really want to throw your future away for people who don't even care? Do you want princes to be disgusted when they think of you?"

"No, no. I... I want a future, mama." She did, desperately. She wanted to be loved, she wanted a real castle, she wanted to be chosen and adored. She just wasn't sure she wanted that with a prince.

"Then, you need to understand I'm the only one who cares." The Queen promised. "I'm the one who raised you to be a perfect princess, Evie. I'm the only one you should listen if you want a future."

"I'm sorry I didn't listen." Evie said, even if, deep down, she knew she was only sorry for being caught.

"You deserved a beating for being so insolent." Evie gulped. Her mother didn't usually hit her since it left too many bruises. "But no prince would want you, not even for a mistress, if you had a pair of black eyes and a swollen lip. So I'll have mercy on you, for now."

Evie raised her head at hearing that. The Evil Queen was never lenient. She knew mistakes had to be punished or else they would become a pattern.

"Thank you, mama." It was all Evie could offer. "I wouldn't want to be even less desireable for a prince."

"Now, I'll give you a couple of minutes to stop crying and do your makeup again." She explained. "As a punishment, you get no food for the next two days. And after they're over, we can forget this little problem and back to making you into the perfect princess you ought to be."

"I understand, mama." She managed to whisper. "I'll... I'll try to be better."

"Excellent." The Queen smiled, already turning away. "Do not pull anything like that on me again, child."

She left the room, and Evie had to lean on the wall to be able to stand up. Her back hurt, and she hoped a bruise wouldn't form and make her even more unworthy.

As she dried her tears and prepared to do her make-up all over again, Evie realized her mother was wrong. They cared about her.

Jay was a lot stronger than she was, but he would never shove her against a wall the way her mother just did. Once though, he did push another guy against a locker for trying to touch Evie inappropriately when she wasn't paying attention.

Carlos was really smart, but he would never set up a plan to trick Evie the way her mother just did. Sometimes though, he would ask Evie if she needed help with her homework or even if she wanted company while doing it.

Mal didn't like when people questioned her authority, but she would never yell or grab Evie by the hair like her mother just did. More often than not, though, Evie would give her suggestions and she would accept them. Because Evie's opinion was important to Mal. Because Mal  _cared_ about Evie and she cared  _a lot._

They all cared about Evie. Her mother was the one who had no idea what caring for another person even looked like. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Please, if you can, leave kudos or comments to encourage the author❤ I'll see you tomorrow.


	6. It was a murder, but not a crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something terrible happens to Carlos and Jay finds him afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please...
> 
> THIS IS THE MOST TRIGGERING ONE SO FAR. Please, please, take care of yourself. If this topic could harm you in any way, I suggest you don't read this. This one is also Descendants, but now we're hurting Carlos. Title from the song Cell block tango. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️Warnings:⚠️ RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT WARNING REFERS TO THIS CHAPTER. It's not on-screen, but could still be really triggering. Flashbacks, dissociation, self hatred, insecure!Carlos, slightly self-victim blaming, murder.

When Carlos didn't show up to a single class that day, Jay, Mal and Evie knew there was something wrong. When they went to his house, and he wasn't there or in his tree house, they got really worried and split up to look for him around the Isle.

When Jay found him, curled up in a back alley just a few blocks away from his house, he knew immediately what had happened.

The way Carlos just sat there on the ground with wet trails on his face and a glazed look on his eyes was already heart-crushing. But the confirmation came from his ripped clothes, bruises and the dried blood on his thighs.

Jay had to take a moment to calm himself down before doing anything else. He wanted nothing more than hunt the bastard who did this, but he didn't even know who it was, and taking care of Carlos was more important.

"'Los?" He called, slowly getting closer to him. "'Los, can you hear me?" He got no reaction.

He kneeled down beside him, and in a moment of impulse he had _not_ think through, touched his shoulder lightly to get his attention.

Carlos immediately started screaming and trashing, as if he had woke up from a trance and decided to let out all the energy he had saved while he was stuck in it.

"N-no, please, please stop!" He screamed, eyes screwed shut in fear. "Get it out! Get it out of me, it- it hurts, please!"

Jay felt hurt for maybe half a second, but then he realized that Carlos probably had no idea he was the one there.

"Please, Carlos." He allowed a small distance between them, just to be sure he wouldn't touch Carlos again by accident and ruin everything further. "Hey, it's me. Look at me, please..."

But he wasn't listening to him.  
"N-no more, please, please stop!" He kept screaming, and his voice just sounded so _broken_.

"'Los, it's Jay. It's just Jay, I'm never gonna hurt you, Los. But you need to breathe, alright?" He asked, as softly as he could. "Just breathe... alright? It's me, you're safe."

Carlos finally opened his eyes and seemed to be fully aware of the situation for the first time, but his eyes were filled with panic and he seemed completely out of breath.

"Hey, it's okay, I've got you, alright? Just breathe. Focus on me and breathe..." He talked slowly, trying to help his boyfriend relax. "Can you do that?"

Carlos was still looking like he was in despair, but he still managed to nod and try to calm himself down.

Jay didn't even know how he had managed to to stay seemingly calm, or at least calm enough to transmit some serenity to Carlos. These emotional things were never his forte...

But now, upon seeing someone he loved so distressed, he knew he had to adapt quickly, so that's what he did.

Eventually, Carlos breathed semi-normally, but he wouldn't move, talk or even look at Jay again. For a moment, he worried the boy was out of it again, so he tried whispering to him softly.

"Are... I mean, what do you need me to do?" He planned on asking if he was okay, but the answer was obvious. Carlos had just been _raped,_ he wouldn't be okay so soon.

The boy shrugged, not knowing what to say. He had no idea what he needed, he just knew he was in pain. He just wanted to forget everything, but he was aware that, no matter how wonderful Jay was, he couldn't make that happen.

Jay just sat beside him. Close enough that Carlos could cuddle up to him if he wanted to, but not too close that they would press against each other unless Carlos wanted to.

"I'm sorry." Carlos said, closing his eyes and letting the tears flow. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. Goddamn it, Jay, it was supposed to be _yours."_

A frown appeared on his face.  
"What?" He asked, confused. "You don't need to be sorry about anything. What are you talking about?"

"My first time." His voice was barely a whisper. "It was supposed to be yours and then... someone just took it."

Jay felt physically sick listening to that. He had to control the urge to throw up.

"It wasn't your first time, alright? Not really. It doesn't count if you didn't want it." He said, not sure if it would make much of a difference. The way they decided to look at it wouldn't change what happened.

"It was, though..." His voice broke at the end. "Can you hold me? Please?" Jay let out a breathe in relief, since all he wanted was to hug his boyfriend tight and never let go.

He turned to Carlos, and the boy just hided his face on his shoulder and cried harder as they hug. Jay didn't know what to do, he just knew he needed to be there.

"I... I was just going to school. I don't know why they did this, I just- I begged them, Jay. I  _begged_ for them to stop, but they didn't." The words were muffled but still understandable.

"They? As in, there was more than one?" He asked, appalled by the idea that his boyfriend might have been hurt by a group.

He nodded, still not looking up.  
"Two guys. A little older than me too, I couldn't fight them." He considered. "I think... I think they were pirates. But I don't wanna talk about it."

Pirates? That couldn't be true. Despite the ridiculous little feud Mal and Uma had, Uma had honor or at least as much honor as someone raised on the Isle could have.

If she knew someone on her ship was a rapist, she would have ordered Harry to cut their dick out with his hook or she would have done so herself with a sword.

"You sure? Uma wouldn't let people like that in her crew." Jay pointed out. "Not that I doubt that you-"

"I got it." Carlos interrupted, finally letting his head up. "I think they're new. She recruited new kids last week. I don't know, I told you I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright, I'm sorry..." Jay said. He gave a brief pause before going on. "I promise I'll find them, 'Los. I'll make them pay for this."

Carlos opened his mouth to argue. Jay was always like this; wanting to solve problems with his fists. If he was already willing to punch someone for making a mean comment about Carlos, he had no idea what he would do if he found the ones who did _this._

And, most of the time, Carlos would be the one to talk some sense into him and stop him from fighting. It wasn't worth it after all, and he didn't like violence.

But then he realized, even if a little scared of his own coldness, that he did not care if Jay _killed_ them. He had begged them for mercy and they offered none.

"I don't want to stay here." He said simply, suddenly realizing how dirty he was and how the whole place stank.

"Alright, you want me to take you home? Or to mine?" Jay asked, his intentions good but the question pained Carlos nevertheless. They never really had a physical home.

He would rather die than face Cruella like this. If she was in her right mind she would call him weak and pathetic, ask what kind of man he was to let this happen to himself. If she wasn't... well, Carlos couldn't deal with that.

There was also his treehouse, but he desperately needed a shower and there wasn't one.

And as much as he appreciated the offer, he would have to pass through the shop to get to Jay's house and he really didn't want Jafar to see him like this as well.

"To our hideout, maybe?" He asked, voice hoarse, sounding broken like he felt. "I can't deal with my mother right now."

Jay nodded.  
"The girls might arrive, though. They were looking for you as well." He said, but Carlos shrugged. Mal and Evie would know eventually anyway.

He helped Carlos get up, which looked absurdly painful, and took his own jacket so he would be able to cover up. His shorts were ripped in multiple places and his underwear was nothing but rags.

Carlos was bracing himself against the wall, feeling like even the slightest breeze could knock him over.

"C'mon, let me carry you." Jay offered, seeing how his boyfriend was suffering. "You shouldn't be straining yourself right now."

"I'm not completely useless, alright?" He snapped. "I may be too weak to defend myself, but I'm not too weak to walk."

As soon as he tried to take a step, though, his trembling legs failed him and if it wasn't for Jay's quick steady hold he would have fallen face first on the floor.

The humiliation burned all the way through his body, and the tears came back full force.

Jay just held him tighter, both for comfort and to guarantee he wouldn't fall if his body betrayed him again. There was nothing else for him to do at that moment.

"You survived, 'Los." Jay reminded him. "That's not weak." He knew his boyfriend had always been afraid he was the 'weakest link' in their group.

But he wasn't. None of their plans would ever work without his brilliant brain, and he was the best one in getting them out of trouble.

Besides, as much as Jay couldn't stand his own father, he knew Carlos was the one who had it worse at home. Cruella came close to killing more than once, be it by neglect when he was younger or by sudden rampages of violence.

"Then why do I need you to take care of me?" He asked bitterly. "Why couldn't I fight those guys, in the first place?"

"You don't need me to do anything, 'Los. If you really wanted, you could crawl to the hideout on your own, even if it took all day." Jay said. "The thing is, I'm here and I _want_ to help. I don't want you suffering when I can do something about it. I wish... I wish I could have done something before this happened."

Jay felt the guilt start to splash trough him. He could have done something about it, he could have avoided it.

It's not like it's unheard of these things happening on the Isle. Think of something evil and morally corrupt and there would be a lot of it happening all over that place.

Everything there was a matter of power. And, well, Carlos is not a hard person to overpower. Jay always paid attention to him in school because if he didn't Carlos ended up being beaten up. He should have know he was supposed to protect Carlos outside school as well.

"Jay... you being here now is enough." He paused and murmured the last part. "I wouldn't blame me you if you left."

"What was that?" Jay frowned.

"I wouldn't blame you if you left. I still won't blame you if you do it later." Carlos explained. "I know dating me has always been more trouble than it's worth it, but this is different. You didn't sign up for this." He gestured vaguely to himself and the alley behind them.

"Carlos de Vil, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, alright? I'll be here for as long as you let me." Jay promised. "I did signed up to be by your side no matter what happens, and that's what I'm doing. Now please, let me carry my boyfriend, who I _want_ to help, back somewhere he can feel safe again?"

Carlos tried to smile at that, it was sweet. But he physically couldn't do more than a shaky grimace.

Jay picked him up and carried him all the way to the hideout. They did have a shower there, so he helped Carlos get out of that stained clothes and throw them away.

He checked on Carlos for taking too long and found him scrubbing his skin raw, pink patterns all over his body. He helped him out and then into new clothes they left in their hideout for a possible emergency.

He laid with him pressed to his chest, both of them crying, only Carlos was full-on sobbing and Jay did it silently, trying to be a rock for his lover when he needed something to lean on.

He woke up with Carlos screaming three times that night, one of them it took a few minutes for the boy to recognize where he was, and it  _pained_ him to be forced to see how scared Carlos was.

He waited a week.

He thought it was damn impressive that he waited a full week, actually. He wanted Carlos to at least get back at his routine before going after the people who did this. Helping Carlos first, punishing the bastards later.

But at the end of the week Carlos saw them again, hanging close to the school. He got so scared he threw up all over Jay's shoes. They didn't see Jay, but he surely saw them.

Long short story, as they were pirates, Jay said a big fuck you to the whole 'do not interact with Uma's crew' rule and told the captain what was going on.

As stated, Uma had her fair share of honor, so not only did she say Jay had her permission to do whatever he wanted to those two fuckers, but she offered Harry's help with it.

Their bodies now reside on the bottom of the sea. Jay didn't mention it to anyone, and he and Harry never spoke about it again, but he knew his friends  _knew_ what he had done. It didn't bother Mal or Evie and it sure as hell didn't bother Carlos.

Remembering the empty look on Carlos' face, as he sat on that dirty alley with blood and spunk drying on his thighs and as tears dried on his cheeks was enough to remind Jay that there were some people out there who just _deserved_ to _die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all stayed safe. This is your daily reminder that rapists ain't shit. Fuck them.   
> Anyway, comments and kudos still appreciated. More tomorrow. <3


	7. Nothing's too heavy, just hold on, I'll carry you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace gets wounded during a mission and Simon has to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got you
> 
> I mean... this is all Jimon, but you get to choose whether this is friendly and platonic or extremelly romantic lmao. I saw enemy to caretaker and thought "nah... but what about kinda frenemy to reluctant friend to caretaker?" And here we are. Title from the song Carry you. Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: blood and passing out from blood loss.

"C'mon, man." Simon said, not really sure whether he was talking to Jace or to the universe in general. "C'mon, we need to go. Can you stand up?"

Jace tried, but he couldn't stand upright without Simon's help, much less actually walk, and they needed to leave as quick as possible.

They were still in the seelie realm, after all, and the Queen was always full of tricks and unwanted surprises.

As missions in this realm tended to, this one had ended badly. Honestly, Simon was not sure why they even tried? Every time one of them went there, they came back with a headache at least and, in this case, a serious, bleeding wound in their stomach at most. 

In hindsight, Simon understands why Clary told him it was 'utterly stupid' to go there 'without backup' 'again'. Well, that's why he had agreed to at least take Jace with him, since Clary and Izzy were busy with another mission. 

"I don't- argh, I don't think so." Jace answered through his teeth, both because he was in pan and he didn't want to admit the weakness.

"Fuck, man. That looks nasty." Simon complained. "We need to stop that before you pass out on me."

Jace opened his mouth to say something funny about Simon being a vampire and still thinking a little wound looked nasty, but a sharp wave of pain shut him up.

Simon slowly let go of him, guaranteeing that he wasn't about to fall first, and then took off his flannel. He tore it and used it to try to stop the bleeding, or at least slow it down.

"You need to go." Jace told him. "Tell Alec to- to look for me or something. I'll just hide here."

Simon looked at him like he had just suggested the craziest, most stupid possibility ever.

"What? I'm not just leaving you here knowing you could bleed to death!" Simon seemed offended at the mere suggestion. "You're coming with me."

"Well, I can't- ah, I can't fucking walk, Simon." Jace stated the obvious, and like the little shit he is, even rolled his eyes despite everything. 

"Then I'm going to carry you." He explained, like it was the simplest thing. And, really, it was. What else was he supposed to do?

"No way... no way you're going to carry me bridal style... until... until New York." Talking was getting harder for Jace.

"I have vampire strength, Jace. I could carry you bridal style across the fucking globe." Simon reminded him. "But I was thinking more like a backpack. Just try to hold on to my shoulders, if you have the strength, c'mon."

Jace was a little sceptical, but Simon just turned his back to him before he could complain some more.

The shadowhunter just stood there a few seconds, a little disturbed by the whole situation. Simon sighed.

"Jace, I'm not letting you die here just because you find it weird that I'm the one who's saving your ass." He said. "Just do it."

Simon tipped forward slightly at the waist, and Jace finally put his weigh on him, chest against Simon's back. 

He felt a little guilty over probably staining yet another piece of his clothes with blood, but he wouldn't tell Simon that. 

Turns out, not only is vampire strength extremely effective, but so is vampire speed. Maybe it was because Jace was so light-headed with the blood loss that he didn't know how much time had passed, but he thought they got to the Institute very quickly.

Everything was a big blur, but he's pretty sure he remembers his brother yelling something at Simon, and then someone iratizing him. Fuck the Seelie Queen for taking his stele.

He thinks he remembers being laid down on a bed, and someone asking to look at his wound, but he didn't get to answer before everything went dark.

•••

When Jace opened his eyes, he seriously wished he never did. His head ached like a bitch and so did the rest of his body.

"Ugh... remind me to never go to the seelie realm again." He said, sensing there was someone next to him. 

"You're awake!" He heard Simon's hopeful voice. Alright, weird, he had half-expected Alec to be the one there.

"And you're... here?" Jace asked, confused. Simon had already done enough for him. 

The vampire seemed embarrassed, like he would have blushed if he had the capacity to.

"Oh, hm, I'm leaving. I'm sorry, I just... wanted to make sure you were ok, I guess?" He said. "I'm just... I had never seen you go unconscious on a mission before."

Simon seemed genuinely worried for him. Jace wasn't used to that, unless it came from his siblings.

"You can stay. It's cool that you stayed, actually." Jace offered.

"I should still probably warn your brother that you woke up before he gets mad at me again." Simon said, waiting a few seconds before turning arround to leave.

"Wait! I, uh... thank you." It was now his turn to blush. "For not leaving me there, I mean." Simon stopped in his tracks, a puzzled look on his face.

"Jace... you're welcome, but why would I put your life in danger like that?" He questioned. "You needed help, so I helped you."

"I mean, carrying 180 pounds through realms is not exactly an easy quest." Jace pointed out. "Especially for someone you don't really like."

"What? Who ever said that?" Simon asked. 

"I mean... we weren't ever too close, and I thought you were still a little mad about the last time we talked to the Queen." He shrugged. Yeah, that had been awkward.

Simon actually laughed out loud at that, finding everything utterly ridiculous. Was that really what Jace thought?

"Jace, I was dating Clary, not you. And I'm not even mad at her anymore." He explained. "You're the one who seems to hate me."

"I don't hate you. You're just really... teaseable with that mundane nerd thing you have going on." Jace said, making Simon roll his eyes. "Besides, I literally told you I'd have died for you before. How could that mean that I hate you?"

That was a good point.

"Touché. So basically... it took a nearly fatal wound, for us to admit we're friends?" Simon asked. 

"Friends is a strong word, isn't it?" Clearly Jace had already recovered completely since he was healthy enough to be an asshole. 

"C'mon, just admit it, Jace, you love me." Simon teased. "It's okay, I know I'm extremely easy to love and I promise I won't tell anyone the mighty Jace has actual, human feelings."

Jace laughed, and threw a pillow at him. But he didn't deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fluffier than intended, despite the blood. Thank you for reading, comments are always welcome. More tomorrow (or today depending on your timezone).


	8. Tell me why the world never fights fair, I'm trying to find home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A study on the different ways the kids from the Isle of the Lost have been abandoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where did everybody go?
> 
> This one holds a very dear place in my heart<3 It's   
> basically a character study of the vks with a bunch of random headcanons. Tittle from the song "Home". Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: Child abuse, child neglect, abusive parents and absent parents, brief mentions of death. This ficlet is ALL ABOUT ABUSIVE PARENTS, IF THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING TO YOU, PLEASE BE SAFE.

Every child born on the Isle was abandoned one way or another. First of all, they were abandoned by Auradon, the place that either pretended they didn't exist or thought they deserved what they got simply for being born from villains.

As the mighty leaders and so called good guys turned away from them, the children had to learn how to fend for themselves on the wasteland of decadence that was the Isle.

But that wasn't the only type of abandonment they suffered. Everyone had a different story, though.

Mal had the typical daddy issues caused by an absent father. Only, it hurt more because she knew _who_ he was and _where_ he was, and he knew these things about her too, he just prefered staying hidden in his cave over seeing his own daughter.

To him, being with Maleficent had been a mistake and the transition from God to husband wasn't smooth. He wanted an out from Maleficent, so he made one and it didn't include his daughter.

Little Mal learned quickly that she was never supposed to ask about him or even say his name because it made her mother furious. That woman was Hades' opposite, she wanted to be present in every single step Mal took, but only so she could control it.

This behaviour helped Mal understand why he felt the need to leave, in the first place. She just wished he had given her a chance at being his daughter and taken her with him.

Not that she thought he would have been a great father either. No, Mal was a realist. She just thought that maybe, with him, she would at least be free. Or as free as someone could be on the Isle.

Jay wasn't abandoned in the usual sense of the word. His mother had no choice when she left him, dying at childbirth. Jafar liked to pretend he didn't blame the boy for it, but he always did.

And Jafar left him as well. Jafar abandoned the idea of having a child by the time he realized Jay could be his golden goose instead. By the time the boy was nine, he could steal more than most adults or teenagers.

At first, little Jay thought that his father might have started to care about him, but soon he realized Jafar only cared about the money he could make.

He was an employee, at best, and a slave, at worst. Jay had no father, only a very demanding boss or master, depending on how satisfied the man was with the things he stole.

He supposed it could be worse. If Jafar had realized he never wanted at kid from the start, he might have left Jay to starve as a baby. Jay should be thankful he was even alive, in the first place.

It doesn't mean it didn't hurt, though.

Evie knew only one thing about her father; he had abandoned her.That's all the Evil Queen was willing to tell her, a secret she would take to her grave.

More than once she told Evie she was ashamed that the man wasn't a prince, which was the closest that woman could get from showing weakness. More than once she reminded Evie that she needed to work twice as hard on being pretty and useful, to compensate for only royal from one bloodline.

Not knowing who he was didn't make it any easier not to miss him. Maybe that wasn't the right word, but Evie didn't know how to describe her feelings in any other way.

Sometimes she looked out her widow at the passer-by and wondered if one of those men could be her father. If he ever regretted leaving her, if he at least wanted to know her as well...

The worst part was knowing she would never be good enough, no matter how much her mother tried to make her better. If she wasn't good enough to make her own father stay, then how would she ever be good enough to make a _prince_ stay.

Carlos didn't know whether he was abandoned by his father or the man never knew about him. He never asked about the man, always trying to avoid topics that might be upsetting to Cruella, so she never told him.

It didn't matter, Cruella had abandoned that boy enough for the both of them. Sometimes, when she wasn't in her right mind, she forgot he even existed at all which almost got him killed several time as a baby.

Even when she was in her right mind, she still didn't want a child. Much like Jafar did to Jay, Cruella didn't think of Carlos as a son. She prefered to see him as a slave or ocasional punching bag. Maybe an exotic pet, as well.

Sometimes, when things got really rough, Carlos wished she had just thrown him away when he was born. He never understood why she had kept him at all, that woman _hated_ him. Sure, dying either of starvation or hypothermia as a newborn seemed painful, but life on the Isle was worse.

But no, Carlos was still there. No father, no real mother. Just him and his overwhelming fear that someday Cruella would be enough out of it to follow on that promise to skin him alive.

Uma tried to convince herself that emotional abandonment wasn't so bad. So what if Ursula didn't care about her? It was still better than some of her friends got.

In the end, it still hurt, even if she tried to pretend she was invincible. Ursula was never really there, and even when she was, she barely talked to Uma, unless it was to yell and complain.

She tried not to resent her father. After all, he was dead, or so Ursula told her. Uma was just a baby when it happened, so she didn't remember and she wasn't exactly sure she trusted her mother's word on it.

But she couldn't help but wonder if he would be warmer, if he would be there more often, if he would _care._

It was unlikely that he would, so maybe it was better this way. Better to have no one than to have people who would hurt her or get on her way. Uma could take care of herself.

Harry could never forget the day his mother abandoned him. She tried to leave discreetly in the middle of the night, but seven-year old Harry woke up and saw her leaving. She told him she was sorry, but left anyway.

He hated his mother for leaving, but he hated his father even more for being the reason she did so. Captain Hook was a drunk, a player and a violent man. No woman wanted or deserved to live with someone like that.

Neither did Harry, but his mother didn't really think about him when she left. He was so angry that she never thought of taking him as well. Mostly because if there was no anger, the hurt would be all he has left.

No one liked being emotionally hurt, but on the Isle it was even more dangerous. Showing feelings beside hatred and anger meant showing weakness and Harry wouldn't let his mother make him _weak._

On the other hand, though, Hook was extremely present in his son's life. Only because he wanted to make sure Harry would follow his footsteps. And that scared Harry like nothing else; the thought of being _just like_ his father.

Gil should be used to being left alone, abandoned, but it still scared him. His father had told him once his mother left because he realized how much of a failure he would be, even when he was still a baby. But nowadays, Gil has his doubts.

She might have left for other reasons, or she might have died. In fact, Gil wasn't completely convinced that Gaston didn't _kill_ her. After all, he was known for being possessive and aggressive.

Well, Gil would never know and he firmly believed it was better this way. He prefered to accept he was left behinfd for who he was than having more reasons to ressent his father.

Truth be told, Gil never hated his father, even though he knew Gaston hated him. The man did told him so, several times, usually followed by threats of kicking him out.

That was his worst fear. Not being homeless, but being completely and utterly _alone._ His father was barely there, and when he was, there was screaming and hitting and punching, but Gil still prefered it that way. Better to have someone who hated him than having no one at all.

That was the harsh reality for children of the Isle.

A parent leaves, a parent dies, a parent stays for the wrong reason, a parent stays and their children wish they had left... different stories with one thing in common; they all felt alone in their own houses. Not homes, though. They never had those.

Home is where you feel likeyou belong. Home is a warm place, it's where you're always welcomed. It's where you find comfort. Home is people who love you. And those kids never had the privilege of knowing a home.

Oh well... maybe they just needed to build their own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed the hopeful little end :) Comments and kudos always appreciated!


	9. Just keep doing nothing, too intoxicated to be scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fairies try to sacrifice Sam. Their magic is really strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the greater good
> 
> This one is short and maybe a little soft? Tittle from the song Xanny. Let's hurt my tall baby a little!  
> Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: kidnapping, magic drug

If he ever got the time or money, he should probably go see a neurologist considering the amount of times he got hit on the head on a daily basis, Sam thought as he woke up with a headache and tied up in the middle of the woods.

Sam and Dean found out they had been dealing with fairies, just a lot bigger and less naked than the last ones they had to fight. Unfortunately, more deadly as well.

"You shouldn't be awake for this part." One of the fairies pointed out, a frown on her face. "But it's okay, we'll make it work. You won't feel a thing."

A couple of them formed a circle around him. It looked like a ritual about to begin, and the fact he was tied up in the center of it wasn't a good sign.

"Where's my brother?" Was the first thing he said, needing to know if Dean was okay. He remembered they were together when the attack happened.

"Don't worry, we won't kill him." Another fae stated. "We just need one sacrifice. Our people don't kill without a cause." Oh, right, that was so benevolent of them.

Sam gulped. Being sacrificed by a bunch of fairies wasn't exactly the way he expected to spend his saturday evening.

"You'll die for a greater good." The first fairy talked again. "A sacrifice must be made every year to keep nature on our side. And you get the honor this year." She truly believed every word she said.

Well, he was supposed to get the honor of putting a _stop_ to this.

For a moment, Sam thought he should threat them by warning that if he died, Dean would surely come back to kill every single one. But then he realized this information could give them a cause to kill Dean as well, so he kept his mouth shut.

The fairies started singing a song he had never heard of, in a language that most definitely wasn't english. Most certainly a part of their ritual.

The one who seemed to be the leader approached him, a sharp knife in her hand. Sam closed his eyes, waiting for the innevitable stab.

He had his life more or less sorted out at the moment, so he definitely didn't want to die. But what he wanted even less was to keep this cycle of dying and coming back, breaking the natural order of the universe and never resting.

Instead of a stab on the heart, he just felt a slight ache on his neck, where the fairy had apparently traced a line with the knife, just enough to get a little blood flowing.

She touched the wound and Sam could _feel_ her magic entering his body, preparing him for the sacrifice. It hurt a little, but mostly it made him feel high. Like nothing else mattered anymore.

Maybe it was compassion on their part. In only a few seconds, Sam wasn't scared, wasn't even worried anymore. He was somewhere else, but also not sure where.

He didn't know if the magic kicked in immediately this strong, or if he had lost the ability to comprehend time already.

He saw flashes, blue lights and heard the sound of bullets, followed by multiple screams. Then figures running away from him. Where were they going? Were they done, was he dead? His senses were deceiving him

He felt some sense of familiarity, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. Someone was talking now, maybe even talking to him.

He only realized what was happening once he felt he could move his hands again. Someone had untied him, the owner of the voice, probably.

"Hey, Sammy, c'mon. Talk to me, man. What did they do?" Oh, right. That was his brother. "Answer me, Sammy, c'mon."

Sam opened his mouth, but his tongue was too heavy, so he just giggled. That seemed to make Dean even more distraught.

Why was he so distraught? Everything was floating around him and it was so much fun. Sam had never felt this _light_ in his whole life. He wanted to stay like that, why couldn't Dean see it?

"You think this shit is dangerous? Like, could he die from it?" Dean asked. "Do we need to find a way to reverse it?"

"I don't think so. They kill their victims through stabbing, not magic." Wait, that wasn't his brother's voice. "But we should get back to the bunker and research. Faes shouldn't be underestimated, Dean."

Oh, right. That was Cas. Of course he was there as well. He always followed Dean, no matter what. Sam wishes they would get their heads out of their asses and admit their feelings.

Maybe they should get themselves a murderous fairy as well, Sam laughed. If they felt as light as Sam did at that moment, they might finally say the truth.

"Get your own fairy, guys..." He tried to say, but all of his words were utterly unintelligible.

"C'mon, Sam. Here, I'll help you. We have to leave." Dean rushed him and he didn't like it. "There may be more of them hidden on the woods, let's go."

Sam swears he tried to do what he said, but it was so hard to move. His legs felt like jelly. That thought made him giggle again.

"This doesn't look good." Dean announced. "I'm still not convinced this isn't lethal. C'mon, Cas, give me a hand."

"I'm fine." Sam spoke and this time it was slightly more understandable. But Dean ignored him.

He felt them wrapping his own arms around their shoulder. What were they doing? Oh, right. They wanted him to walk, but his legs still felt like jelly.

Somehow they managed, and he didn't remember most of the way until they got to the Impala, but Dean helped him into the backseat.

"Hey, you're going to be alright." Dean told him, but he looked so... sad? Yeah, he looked sad and blurry. Really, really blurry.

Of course Sam was going to be alright. He had never felt this giddy before, he should thank the fairies later. He had a smile on his face as everything went black.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE HE'S NOT DEAD, HE JUST PASSED OUT. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. More tomorrow.


	10. The blood in my veins is made up of mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec makes some bad decisions and ends up passing out from blood loss. Magnus is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They look so pretty when they bleed
> 
> Keeping up has been... harder than anticipated. But here I am, so let's go on. Some whumpee!Alec with caretaker!Magnus. Title from the song "Jet black heart". Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: a lot of blood obviously, insecure!Alec, self-worth issues.

In retrospect, some of the decisions that lead to this situation weren't the brightest ones.

First, when Magnus invited him over and offered to open him a portal, Alec told him that it wasn't necessary. It had been a difficult day, so he could take the walk to help clear his thoughts.

Besides, he didn't like taking advantage of his boyfriend's magic. Magnus should save his strength for more important stuff.

But until that point, things were still alright. The way to Magnus' place wasn't even that long, it would be fine.

Then, when he saw a shax demon enter an alley, he followed it immediately instead of calling someone to at least let them _know_ what he was getting into. It's not like he needed backup to find a single demon, after all.

Of course, when he entered the alley there wasn't one, but three of them.

He was succesful in killing all three, but not before getting a deep, ugly lash across his abdomen.

As soon as he got control of the situation, he iratzed himself to treat the wound. Even with the rune, it still oozed blood.

Finally, what was certainly the dumbest decision of them all: instead of just calling Magnus or even someone at the Institute, he decided that being so close from the apartment, he could as well just go there.

He had already iratzed it, so, even if it hurt like hell, it would probably stop bleeding soon.

No point in getting Magnus worried through a phone call when he could be there in minutes, right? That was his thought as he left a trail of blood down the streets of Brooklyn.

With an wound like that, the small distance seemed three times bigger, but Alec pushed through. Insisting that it would get better in a few minutes, even as the blood stained through his clothes.

It took more time than usual, and certainly more strength as well, but managed to get to the building.

He dragged himself up the stairs and when stars started dancing behind his eyelids he finally realized that he might have miscalculated how hurt he was.

Alec managed to get to the apartment and knock on the door, concentrating hard on the small task and already feeling nauseated. All he got to see was Magnus opening the door, and his smiling face turning into a worried frown, before he lost conscious.

•  
When Alec woke up, he was dizzy and confused, not knowing quite well what had happened. The first thing he noticed, was that he was alone in Magnus' bedroom.

He tried to sit up on the bed, but immediately felt like he was going to _die_ if he moved even slightly.

He looked down and noticed that he was shirtless, with a bandage around part of his stomach... oh, right. He was attacked by demons and made some bad decisions.

He grunted. By the angel, it _hurt._

Soon Magnus entered the room with a worried frown on his face.   
"I see you're awake." He told him, calmly. "I treated you with my magic, but you were still gone for four hours."

Well, _fuck._ That meant it was like in the middle of the night and there he was, keeping Magnus awake and not in the fun way. So much for not inconveniencing him boyfriend...

"Magnus... thank you for this." He didn't know what else to say. "And I'm sorry, I'm-" Magnus raised a hand to get him to stop talking.

"I already called your sister to let her know what happened and that you're spending the night here." He announced, sitting down on the bed. "Now, I want you to give me a detailed explanation of what happened."

Alec gulped. Thinking about how he was going to explain it out loud only highlighted how bad everything was.

"I was walking here when I saw a shax demon. A small one, at that, I swear." He tried. "So I followed it."

"Without letting anyone know you were going into battle?" Magnus asked, eyebrows raised.

"I thought it was only one demon!" Alec defended himself. "Turned out there were three... but I managed. They just left a cut before I could kill them all. I iratzed it and thought I could make it here."

"And again, you didn't think to call anyone? Not even me?" Magnus didn't raise his voice at all, but his tone made it clear he wasn't happy.

"I- I didn't realise it was this bad. I didn't want to worry you over a phone call over a little cut-"

"A little cut is what you say when you accidentally hurt your hand in the kitchen, not when you pass out in my doorstep because a demon attacked you." Magnus interrupted and, as per usual, he was right.

"But I thought it wasn't this bad, I swear!" Alec's defense sounded weak even to his own ears. He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I ruined our date and you had to take care of-"

"For fuck's sake, Alexander, I don't care about that. I care about your safety." Magnus seemed exasperated. "We can have another date tomorrow or next week. That is, unless you're _dead,_ of course."

At the same time that it felt a lot like he was being scolded, it did make Alec feel a little warm to see Magnus so worried about his  _safety._

Magnus wasn't upset because he failed a mission or disturbed their plans, he was upset because he was worried about Alec. because he  _loved_ Alec and wanted him to be safe.

The warmth didn't take away the shame, though. One way or another, he had made Magnus upset.

"I'm sorry, Mags. I don't know what I was thinking." He admitted. "I can go, if you want. You shouldn't have to deal with this." After all, it wasn't fair that Magnus had to take care of him.

"Alexander, it's one AM." Magnus answered. "I'm not just throwing you on the street in the middle of the night just because I'm mad. Never, but especially not when you're injured."

Alec didn't know what to say, so he kept quiet. He didn't look Magnus in the eye either.

Clearly, Magnus was having none of it. Sighing, he gently touched his chin and directioned his head so they were seeing eye to eye.

"It's a lot harder to stay mad at you when you're lying on my bed, looking like a kicked puppy." He announced, giving a small pause before continuing. "C'mon, let's go to sleep."

Alec frowned hard at that.  
"What?" He asked. "I thought you were mad?"

"Oh, believe me, I am. And we're going to have a serious talk about this tomorrow." Magnus explained. "But neither of us are in the right shape to do it right now."

"And... you're okay with me sleeping here?" He asked, confused. If his boyfriend was so upset, why didn't he send him away or at least tell him to sleep on the couch?

Magnus sighed again.  
"Darling, I know sometimes it's hard to accept this, but your worth is not determined by whether or not you do something right." He explained. "And neither is my love for you."

Being a shadowhunter, this was even harder to understand. He was nothing if he didn't do what he was expected to do.

Magnus looked at him with sad, pained eyes that Alec didn't exactly understand and kissed his forehead sweetly.

Alec smiled. They were going to be alright and that's all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffier than intended, but I liked it. I would really appreciate if someone left a comment here, that is, if anyone is still reading. More tomorrow!


	11. When the tears come streaming down your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 times Carlos lets Jay see him crying (+1 time Jay lets Carlos do the same).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psych 101
> 
> I actually loved this one <3 It's longer than most of these ficlets and focuses on emotional whump. Alternatively called Jaylos is crying and so am I, real title from the song "Fix you". Be aware that these happen through the course of 2 or 3 years. Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings: abusive parents, child abuse, bleeding, burn scars, physical violence, bullying, brief mentions of sex.

Crying is weakness.

There is no other to put it. Crying is weakness and no one on the Isle can afford being seen as weak. It makes you an easy target.

So, to cry in front of someone meant that you were either utterly dumb, couldn't control your emotions or trusted that person with your life. Trusting someone like that was extremely dangerous.

Carlos had a shitty life. Obviously, everyone on that place did, but his was even more especially so, Cruella made sure of it. He tried to be strong, but he did cry himself to sleep sometimes.

Only when his day was really bad, when his mother was being worse than usual and other kids were also being crueller than usual. But never when there were other people around.

He couldn't let someone see him being weak and pitiful. Sometimes, though, there are people who are worth it opening yourself up to.

**1.**  
The first time it happened, he didn't mean to.

His mother had given him a list of chores the night before that he was supposed to finish before the sun rises, but he didn't manage to. It was humanly impossible, and he wasn't sure whether she didn't realize it or if she just wanted another excuse to hurt him. Not that she needed one, in the first place.

As soon as she woke up, she was screaming at him for being a failure. Cruella could be creative with her punishments, so that day she used him as an ashtray. He didn't cry as the cigarettes burned his skin though.

He showed up to school late, and though he could hide most of the burns well, he forgot there was one at the back of his neck.

Mal asked if he was okay, which he promised he was. Evie gave him a cream she promised would help with burn scars. Jay just looked at him weirdly through the whole day.

The four of them being... allies was still a relatively new thing and he didn't want to disturb them with his problems.

They all had their own issues to live with. Carlos was very perceptive, he saw how Mal was desperate to please her mother with every choice she made, he saw how Evie wasn't as confident as she liked to show and he saw how Jay had a troubled relationship with his father.

So, he powered through the day without saying anything. Life was rough and there was nothing he could do about it.

At night, though, inside of his treehouse where he was a little safer, he allowed himself to cry quietly as he applied the cream Evie gave him.

He shouldn't be crying. It wasn't the worst thing Cruella had ever done to him, but the week had been hard and everything summed up at that moment.

He didn't even notice someone was climbing up there until he turned around to see the curtain he had instead of a door being opened.

Carlos squealed at that, and was getting ready to kick the intruder in the balls when he realized who was there.

"Hey, relax!" Jay said, raising his hands. "It's just me."

Carlos took a few seconds to calm himself first and then immediately began drying his tears, not wanting his friend to see him crying.

"What the hell, Jay?" He asked. "How did you even know I was here?" Jay shrugged.

"Well, you told me you had a treehouse and it was easier to climb here than to break in the house. Besides, I thought you'd probably like here more... it seems safer." Jay explained. "I'm sorry I just wanted to check on you."

That was unexpected. Carlos was the newest addition to their little gang and he didn't think any of them would be that invested in him already.

"I'm fine." He was quick to assure. "Sorry you had to see this... not exactly the toughest one in the group."

Jay shrugged.  
"You're the smartest, so you get a pass." He said. "Does it... does it happen very often?"

"I'm not weak, alright?" He snapped. "Things just get hard sometimes. I'm not a fucking crybaby, if that's what you're suggesting."

Jay frowned.  
"I mean your mother burning you, not you crying." He clarified and Carlos felt his cheeks heating up.

"Oh. I'm sorry, then. Uh..." It was pretty awkward. "Cruella is really creative. It's not always the same thing, but there's definitely always something."

Jay looked sad. Like he wanted to do something about it, like he wanted to fix this for him.

It was Carlos' turn to frown. He knew his mother was more unstable than most, but the Isle was full of kids with sob stories.

"Doesn't your dad hurt you as well?" He asked. He had always noticed Jay seemed at least a little afraid of Jafar.

"Yeah, sometimes. But I can take it." It was meant to be reassuring, but it just made Carlos snort.

"So, you came into my tree house to tell me I can't take whatever my mother does?" Carlos asked. "Thanks, but I think the last thirteen years showed me I can."

Jay put his hands up, showing he meant no harm even though he kept putting his foot in his mouth.

"No, I- I mean... I just mean my father is not as bad. He just gets mad if I don't fill my stealing quotas for the shop." He explained. "He hits me, but he wouldn't burn me or do other shit that would scar like that."

Carlos was still not entirely convinced that it was what he meant, but he was too tired to fight it.

"It is what it is." He shrugged. "My mother hates me, so what? Nothing you can do about it."

He tried to pretend it didn't bother him, but the lump in his throat came back full force.

He had been doing great with keeping himself from crying, but he let out a single tear at that. There was no point in trying to hide it from Jay, he knew the boy had seen it.

Jay said nothing, just came closer and gently wiped the tear away with his thumb.

**2.**   
Sometimes Cruella was just too out of it to make any sense. Unfortunately, it didn't make her any less cruel.

From times to times things got so bad that she didn't know who he was. It was relatively uncommon, but it was disturbing every time it happened.

After school, when he arrived home that day, she simply didn't recognize him so she thought someone was breaking into the house.

Cruella attacked the 'invader' fiercely and tried to choke him with her bare hands to defend her house from him. Carlos genuinely thought he was going to die.

He just passed out, and was horrified once he realized he was a little disappointed that he woke up. He had no idea how much time had passed while he was unconscious, he just knew that he needed comfort.

He barely thought about it, leaving the house and running to Jay's house. He had to go through the shop to get there, but thankfully Jafar just ignored him. The man knew the boy spent time with his son more often than not and he didn't care.

He went straight to Jay's bedroom, or more realistic the cramped back room full of useless stuff with a mattress in the middle that they called Jay's room.

The boy sat down on the mattress as soon as he saw Carlos, worried.

Carlos, knowing Jay could see very clearly that he had just taken a beating, said nothing just sat down on his lap, hiding his face on the crook of his neck.

"I'm so sorry, 'Los." Jay said, hugging the boy tightly against his chest. "I don't know what she did, but I'm sorry."

Carlos wanted to tell him, but he couldn't do anything except cry quietly. Jay couldn't see his face, but he could feel the tears.

No word was spoken for the next hour. Jay just kept gently caressing his back as he cried.

**3.**  
Becoming part of Mal's gang meant that most kids left him alone, most of the time. But some still tried their luck when she wasn't looking.

Because he was younger, there were class that none of the other three had with him and that was when the problems happened.

Leaving one of this classes, a boy who was older and clearly stronger than him pushed him against a locker. Carlos thought if he just took it with his head down, the guy would let him go, but he didn't.

"De Vil, right? Is it true you're as crazy as dear old Mama?" He asked, mocking. "Just our luck you're a little runt, or you'd have tried to skin us all alive as well."

"She's not crazy." He whispered softly. Cruella was mean. Cruella needed help. These were two separated pieces of information.

"Are you talking back at me?" The boy asked, raising Carlos by the shirt and throwing him violently on the ground. "Then you're truly fucking crazy, runt."

He started kicking Carlos and, even thought it hurt like hell, he could take it, trying to avoid being hit anywhere too dangerous.

He didn't want to plead for the guy to stop. It would only make him seem more pathetic and he definitely didn't need that.

The boy had other plans, though.  
"Do you want me stop?" He asked and Carlos nodded weakly. "Then apologize for talking back."

He thought about refusing, but honestly, his honor or whatever was left of it wasn't worth another beating.

"I'm sorry for taking back." He said, the words burning through his throat. "I won't do it anymore."

"Damn right you won't." He said. "Now say I was right, and that you're a nutcase just like dear old mamma."

Carlos remained quiet. No, that was far too much. It was just a matter of time until Mal or Jay showed up, he could stay strong for a little more.

He got kicked again and again and again, a few minutes seeming like hours. He didn't want to give in, but it was getting harder.

When he figured the boy could cause some serious internal bleeding, he finally gave up, knowing that needing medical care was a death sentence on the Isle.

"Alright... alright... I'm just like her. I'm just like her." He breathed out. "I'm exactly like my mother."

The boy seemed satisfied and _finally_ left him alone.

Other students passed by him as he sat on the floor, too injured to get up without help, and no one paid him any mind. 

His friends _finally_ showed up and, seeing how badly he was hurt, just ditched the rest of the classes and took him to their hideout.

By that point, Carlos and Jay were already dating. They told no one, since relationships were also seen as weakness, but they knew Mal and Evie already knew.

Once the four of them got there, they all cuddled up to Carlos on the cushions dispersed around the room, trying to offer comfort.

He ugly sobbed that day. It was horrible, because it only made his ribs hurt more, but he couldn't stop it. It was the first time Evie and Mal had witnessed him crying.

They probably thought he was crying because he was in pain, but that wasn't true. He just hated that he was under that boy's control and he _hated_ what he had been forced to say.

**4.**   
"I think... I think someday she'll kill me." Carlos randomly blurted out, for no apparent reason, just after a really good make out season.

He wanted to take the words back as soon as he said it, because Jay looked absolutely desolated.

"You can't say that, 'Los." He said, a desperate edge on his voice. "You can't think like that."

"It's true, though. She burned me again today. And yesterday she beat me with a stiletto shoe." Carlos let out. He as might was well share his thoughts. "She could kill me. She _might_ kill me."

"You can't keep living like that." Jay said. Carlos thought it was sweet he cared, but if there was a solution, he would have thought of it already.

"It's not like I have a choice. Where else could I live?" He asked. Jay opened his mouth, a hopeful look in his eyes, but then closed it quickly, facing the other way.

Carlos' breath hitched. Was that... was that what he thought that was?

"Your father would never allow it." Carlos said, making his boyfriend sigh.

"I know. If it wasn't for him, I'd have asked you to move in a long time ago." He answered. Jafar would never accept to have an extra mouth to feed.

The Isle was also too small for the children of two well-known villains to run away together without getting too much attention and being caught. So really, Carlos had no choice.

"I guess I'll just have to hope she doesn't kill me." Carlos said. He didn't want to be sentimental about it, but a stubborn tear fell down anyway.

**5.**   
Carlos was surprised when he felt his cheeks getting wet. Why was he crying? Everything was perfect in their little bubble, he could ignore his problems until the sun rises, he didn't even feel sad... Why was he crying?

Only then did he realize those were _happy_ tears. He never had those before.

"Are you... are you crying?" Jay asked, suddenly alarmed. "Fuck, 'Los, did I hurt you? Shit, I'm so sorry! Why didn't you-"

"No, no. I'm fine. Maybe I'll be a little sore tomorrow, but I'm not hurt at all." He promised, turning to look at him in the eyes. "I'm just happy."

"Then why are you crying?" He asked, still worried. Happy tears weren't a common concept on the Isle.

"Because I'm really happy. You took care of me, it felt good and for a moment there were only us in the world. And you... you kinda told me you loved me in the middle of it." Jay clearly hadn't paid attention to that, eyes widening when he realized it. "It's fine. I love you too."

"That's... that's good. I meant what I said." Jay admitted, fighting a blush. "So that's it? You're really just crying because you're happy?"

Carlos nodded, and started laughing as his lover kissed away his tears.

**+1.**  
He went to the hideout to do his homework, not wanting to deal with his mother's demands. He believed he would be alone.

He startled when he turned on the lights and nodded there was already someone there. Jay was sitting on the floor, hugging his legs, his face hidden.

"Jay?" He called softly, a little worried. He knew his boyfriend had heard him, but he didn't move from his position. "Jay? Are you alright? It's... it's okay if you want me to leave. Just please tell me if you're fine."

A few seconds passed and Carlos wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Certainly something was wrong, so he didn't want to leave, but maybe Jay needed space?

Eventually he raised his head slightly and Carlos gasped.

Not only did he have a black eye and a split lip that looked painful, but he was also _crying._ In fact, he looked like someone who had been crying for a good while.

Up to that moment, Carlos had never thought about the fact that he had never seen his boyfriend crying. He had never realized that. Jay was always there wiping away his tears, but he never had the opportunity to do the same.

"Oh, baby..." He lamented, dropping everything to sit beside Jay.

"I- I'm so sorry." He said, voice completely broken. "You... you weren't supposed to see me like this. I just... I needed to be somewhere else."

"You don't need to apologize." Carlos promised, gently wrapping an arm around his lover's waist and bringing him closer. "Did... did your father do this?"

Jay nodded.  
"I didn't meet my stealing quota once through the whole week. I had never seen him this pissed before." He explained. "Evil, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be strong for you."

"You are! You always are. Jay... I don't think you realize how you're the main reason I survive this place. You're my rock." Carlos was quick to reassure.

"Well..." Jay waved his arms slightly, pointing to himself and his current state. "I'm a terrible one."

"You're a perfect one." He promised. "But you're still human. And I wish you would allow me to be for you at least one per cent of what you are for me."

"I... I don't know if I can do that." Jay said, voice small. Carlos had never seen him this lost.

"You're allowed to break down with me, Jay." He insisted. "I'll help fixing you every time."

That was enough for Jay. He had taken too much that day already. He just turned to be able to hug Carlos properly and sobbed loudly.

Carlos let him, without intervening. He did nothing but play with his hair softly and occasionally whisper that Jay was loved and everything would be okay one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for crying with me! Any comment would be really, really appreciated. More tomorrow.


	12. What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenage Izzy gets her arm broken during a mission. Teenage Alec blames himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've broken something
> 
> Emotional whump is really my thing, huh? Thank you so much, everyone who commented and left kudos. I appreciate it. Title from the song "Get it right".   
> Enjoy! ♡
> 
> Warnings: broken bones, insecure!Alec, self-blaming. Maryse and Robert being... well, not excellent at parenting.

  
"Alec, I told you. I'm fine." Fifteen year-old Izzy promised, even though her bandaged arm said otherwise. "It will heal in a few hours anyway."

Her brother was having _none_ of it.  
"Izzy you broke your arm!" Seventeen year-old Alec reminded her. "It was an exposed fracture!"

"Well, it's not exposed anymore." She pointed out. "And, as I said, it will heal."

It was the first time that only the two of them had been sent on a mission. Not that they never fought together, but usually there were other people were there as hell.

Alec had been in quite a few missions with Jace only. He did few a lot responsible for Jace when that happened, but he knew Jace felt somewhat the same. Plus, he was already used to the way Jace fought.

With Izzy, though? He _was_ responsible for her. He couldn't put it exactly into words, maybe because she was younger than both him and Jace, but he was absolutely terrified she would get hurt on his watch.

And she just did, exactly like he feared. Isabelle jumped in front of the demon quicker than Alec could have done anything to stop her and the beast launched her against a nearby wall.

Her arm hit it full force in a weird angle, and she ended up with a bone coming out of her skin.

Alec managed to kill the demon on his own, even with the deep worry making his ears buzz, and then helped her out. It was distressing, to say the least.

"Iz... it shouldn't be broken in the first place." Alec said. "By the angel, I can't believe this happened under my watch." He sighed.

"C'mon, don't be so hard on yourself. I know I shouldn't have thrown myself in front of it in the first place." She reminded him. "I don't know what I was thinking."

It doesn't matter. He should have anticipated that somehow, he should have _known._

"You could have died and it would have been my fault." Alec said, not meeting her eyes.

"Alec... you need to stop trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders." Isabelle said, always the wise one. "That's not on you. I'll even tell mom and dad that when they arrive."

"This isn't about them, Iz. It's-" He got interrupted by the door of the infirmary opening and by his sister's wide eyes he knew without having to turn around that their parents were there.

He gulped. It was hard to guess exactly what was about to happen, but probably at least one of them would be getting yelled at.

"Give me the mission debrief." Maryse said, without even saying hello to her children or asking if Isabelle was feeling alright.

"It was my fault!" The girl was quick to say. "I knew I shouldn-"

"That's not what I asked you." Maryse insisted, a disappointed look in her eyes. As usual, whenever one of her children did anything at all.

Alec took the reins of situation and explained in excruciating detail everything that had lead to their failed mission.

Both adults remained impassive while he talked, which sucked because despite it not being his biggest worry, Alec did want to know how much trouble they were in.

Once he finished, a heavy silence was installed in the room for longer than a full minute. It was worse than being scolded.

"Alec." His father started. "We expect you to be the responsible one. You should watch out for this kind of irresponsible behaviour."

Alec knew that already. He knew he had failed.  
"I'm sorry, father." What else could he say? "It won't happen again."

"It better not." Maryse piped in. "You have responsibilities with this family, son. You need to fulfill them."

He nodded, not meeting their eyes. He was too ashamed to keep facing the blatant disappointment in them.

"As for you, Isabelle..." She went on. "You're forbidden from going to real missions until the end of the month. You can stick to the simulator until then."

"But, mom-" Isabelle tried to complain, after all it was just a one time thing. She was a good shadowhunter and did well on most missions.

"No complaining. This should teach to be think through before you act." Maryse said. "You two are better than that, you have to be. I don't want to receive another call like this one. Am I clear?"

"Yes, mother." The exact same tone that somehow held both embarrassment and boredom left both of their mouths.

"Good." She said simply. "You have until the day ends to fill the mission papers." And just like that, she turned around and left. Not even a goodbye.

"We're harsh because we need to be, alright?" Robert reminded them. "We want you to survive. I have to go now, but I'll call later to see how things are going."

He left as well, leaving the two siblings staring at the door.

Alec knew they needed to be harsh, of course he did. He was a soldier, after all, and he expected to be treated as such. Unfortunately, it didn't make him stop wishing for some warmth every once in a while.

"Can you believe this?" Izzy asked. "She just... came here and told us we suck. She didn't even ask if my arm was okay!"

Alec sighed. She was right, of course she was. But he understood his mother as well. Izzy was alive and that was all that mattered.

"They probably have a lot on their plates right now." He tried. Unfortunately, their parents had a lot on their plates since forever.

Izzy just rolled her eyes.  
"Look... it's not your fault, alright? Please, remember that." She said, surprisingly soft for all the rage she had mere seconds ago.

Alec shrugged, not wanting to explain to her in detail why it was exactly that. He turned around to leave as well.

"Where are you going?" Izzy asked, frowning.

"Training." He said simply. He needed to train to get better. To stop failing the people he loved.

He needed to be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!


	13. And if you were drowned at sea, I'd give you my lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam saves someone from drowning and goes home thinking he's just fine. He isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breathe in, breathe out
> 
> This one was hard to make, so it's a really short one. But it's here! Title from the song "brother". Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: well, drowning...

Sam didn't even think about it.

They had just finished the case and he was in a local small market buying beer, as Dean waited in the car, when it happened.

There was a small pound outside, and he heard someone screaming, possibly a child, so he dropped everything he was carrying and ran straight to where the sound was coming from.

"My b-brother fell! Help him!" A little girl with blond pigtails yelled, with tears in her eyes, pointing at the pound, where there was an agitation in the water.

Like the hero he would always be, Sam jumped straight into the water to save the boy, without questioning it for a second. Saving people was always his priority.

It was a tough rescue, since the boy was scared and agitated. He waved around desperately, ending up pushing both of them down at one point. But Sam made it, with some trouble, but the boy was alive and that was all that mattered.

He got the boy out of water, someone else called an ambulance and everything was okay. Or at least that was what he thought.

He went back to the store, coughing a little, and finished buying what he needed, also adding a pair of terribly ugly shorts to the list knowing Dean would throw a fit if he sat on the Impala with wet clothes.

He went to the parking lot where Dean waited for him. His brother was extremely confused at why was him dripping wet from head to toe after leaving to buy beer.

He promised to explain later, went to the market's bathroom to change into the ugly shorts and they left.

•  
Sam didn't stop coughing from the moment he entered the car, but both just thought he was getting a cold from jumping into the pound. Nothing to worry about.

He wanted to sleep, feeling unexpectedly tired, but the endless coughing stopped him from doing so.

Dean offered some worried glances his way, but kept driving without saying anything. Soon, they were back at the bunker.

Sam found some cough syrup in one of the medical kits, and drank a little. He figured it would help him with the cough, since he rarely got sick to begin with. Nothing to worry about, really.

Unfortunately, after a full hour, the syrup had done absolutely nothing to help him.  
"Dude, how cold was that water?" Dean asked. He could hear him coughing from another room. "You sound like a dying goose."

Sam rolled his eyes.  
"That's so comforting, Dean. Thank you." He coughed again. "Ugh, it's been so bad that even my chest hurts from coughing this much."

"That's weird, man." Dean said. "I mean, you never get like this. Neither of us does." Maybe they just ran out of luck.

For someone so smart, Sam seriously took his time to understand what was going on.

After a few hours, two more doses of medicine, and countless coughing fits, he realized his chest was getting heavier and heavier, and he was getting more and more tired.

Once he started to feel it was getting hard to breathe, he realized that probably it wasn't just a cold. It took an enormous amount of energy to even get out of bed and go after his brother.

"I think... I think there's something wrong." He breathed out, with some difficulty. He was starting to get dizzy as well.

Dean immediately entered Big Brother Mode™, getting up from his seat with a worried look on his face. Sam wasn't one to complain unless things were really bad.

"I... I can't..." As he became agitated it was getting even harder to breath. He had to lean on the wall not to fall down.

The last thing he remembers was Dean trying to get him to stand upright and saying something about seeing a doctor.

•

When Sam woke up, it was very clear that he was in a hospital bed. So, yeah... definitely not just a cold.

"Hey! You're up." He heard Dean's voice. "Doctor said it was only a matter of time now."

"What... what the hell happened?" His voice was hoarse and he felt like he had spent the day with brick laying on his chest.

"She said it was secondary drowning." Dean said. "Never heard of it, but apparently it means you almost drowned and then some of the water stayed in your lungs."

Shit. Sam had heard of it before. Basically, it happens when a bit of water gets to the lungs and irritates its lining.

"Isn't that supposed to be really rare?" Sam asked, still exhausted from fighting against it all day.

Dean shrugged.  
"No idea, but I wouldn't be surprised." He said. "It's not like life always throws the best situations at us, Sammy." Alright, fair point.

"That makes sense." He answered. "God, that could have really killed me." It sounded a little absurd to think he almost died in a day they weren't hunting at all.

"Doctor said you were lucky to have no major complications." Dean told him. "Apparently, we took a long time to realize there was even a problem."

Sam couldn't help but start laughing.

What were the fucking odds? He was fighting against ghosts, demons and angels on a daily basis, and there he was: on a hospital for secondary drowning.

Dean looked at him like he had completely lost it.  
"What the fuck, Sam? Do I need to call the doctor again?" He asked, concerned. Sam shook his head.

"Can't you see how _hilarious_ this is? With the life we live, that this is what sent me to the ER?" He asked, still cracking up. "Yesterday I was killing monsters, today I almost died trying to save a twelve year-old from a little pound."

Dean rolled his eyes at that, but ended up letting out a small smile of his own.

He ruffled his brother's hair quickly, a lot like he did when they were just kids, but Sam was laughing too hard to complain about it. Yeah, Dean was just glad his baby brother was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I would really appreciate if you guys could leave comments or kudos here if you're enjoying this. Thank you for your time!


	14. I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is locked up in a small closet and suffers from heat exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is something burning?
> 
> Descendants again, here we go. Carlos is having a bad time in this one. Title from the song "Survivor".  
> Enjoy!♡  
> Warnings: bad parenting, child abuse and neglect, heat exhaustion and thoughts about death and afterlife.

Cruella couldn't have chosen a worst day to lock her son in a small closet on the back of the house.

Not that she didn't do this more than once, but Carlos was pretty sure she had forgotten him there.

He could deal with the claustrophobic feeling, he really could. One of the many things that living with his mother had taught him to deal with. However, the Isle was suffering a terrible heat wave.

It had been bad all week, but that day was the hottest of them all. Carlos didn't remember a time in his whole life that the temperature was that high.

He knew he could literally die there if things got too bad, and the desperation only made it harder to breath, which was really counterproductive.

He couldn't even say his skin was moist, it was downright wet.The goosebumps only made things worse.

"Mom!" He called out, screaming with all he had, despite it not being much. "Mom! It's Carlos! Your son! You forgot me here!"

He stayed quiet for a while, testing if he could hear her moving, but he couldn't. In fact, Carlos wasn't even sure she was in the house at all. She could have left him there alone.

The fact that the space was cramped with countless pieces of clothes only made things worse for the poor boy.

"Is someone there?" He called again. Maybe her goons had stopped by and could hear him if he tried hard enough.

It was hard to talk with how tired and thirsty he was. He wasn't sure what was better, preserving his energy or trying to get out of there.

Evil, he was sweating so fucking much. It felt like his skin was melting, even though he knew that wasn't possible. He would die before that happened.

The fact that he felt dizzy and possibly about to faint didn't help either. Besides the fact that the feeling itself was terrible, he was worried that if he lost conscious he would simply never wake up.

He tried to call out for help again, but his mouth was just so dry, and his throat hurt so much that he gave up. He had to concentrate on not fainting, which was easier said than done.

Out of all the ways Carlos had been afraid that his mother would end up killing him, heat stroke wasn't exactly something he had seen coming.

He always thought he would ended up bleeding to death after being beat up by her, or dying from asphyxiation from her hands around his neck.

This was something else entirely. It felt like the universe was really out to get him. Or maybe it was just his mother.

He knew his pulse was weak. It was probably getting weaker by the second and there wasn't much he could do to stop it. He thought a lot about the fact he might die young, but he didn't want to, goddamn it!

His life sucked, that much was true. But there was still enough to live for. Building the things he liked, meeting with his friends at their hangout, finding out more about the world, studying with Evie, playing with Jay's hair gently as the other boy pretended not to love it... these things, at least, were worth it staying alive for.

But apparently, it wasn't up to Carlos to decide that at all. Things got worse each minute that passed, not that he had any notion of time life anymore.

His whole body ached, including his head. He didn't know how much of that was caused by the small space he had to move and how much was just the heat messing with his body.

He felt nauseous as well. He wished he had learned more about the effects of extreme heat on the human body at school, since he had no idea most of these symptoms could manifest in this situation.

Not that they really learned anything on that school, most of the time. Except for how to be evil and maybe survive the teachers and other students.

He heard, then, a distant voice calling his name and for a moment he was sure that was it, he had officially died.

But the voice was too soft to belong to a demon, and he wasn't sure he'd be allowed in heaven. Sure, they are said to pity the ones who suffered a lot on earth, but if not even Auradon accepted villain kids, would heaven?

The voice got closer and he could tell there was something very familiar about it, but he couldn't pinpoint what exactly.

He wanted to call out for the owner of the voice, say he was there, he needed help, but nothing would come out.

So he tapped on the metal door weakly, hopping it was enough to catch their attention. It was most likely his only chance.

He heard quick steps becoming louder until the door was abruptly opened.

"Oh my God, Carlos!" Oh, the voice was Evie. "You'll be alright, I'll help you."

She sounded horrified, and begun trying to help him out of that place. Unfortunately, Carlos was basically deadweight by that point. He couldn't talk properly, much less walk.

Evie dragged him out anyway, it was better than leaving him there. He would thank her if he felt like it wouldn't make him pass out.

She took something, maybe a cushion or a piece of clothing, he wasn't too aware of his surrounds, and began fanning him as best as she could

It felt good, like he could breathe a little better. Like he was at least less likely to die.

"Hold on, I'm going to get you water." Evie said, before getting up. Carlos let out a sound of distress at the loss of the fan.

Thankfully she didn't take too long, coming back with a water jar in her hands. Evil, Carlos had never felt this thirsty in his life.

He drank desperately, knowing his life depended on it. He had never known true relief until that moment. He wasn't going to die.

"I'm so sorry she did this, Carlos. I knew something was wrong once you didn't show up today, but _this?"_ Evie said, sorrow in her voice. "This is too evil."

He didn't answer, too busy trying hydrate himself after God knows how long in that place.

He had things to say as well, like asking Evie how the hell she managed to break into his house, but it just wasn't so important. The rest could wait.

What mattered was that he would to see one more day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Comments and kudos always appreciated!


	15. He means so much to me, daddy please don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gets possessed and Magnus has to hurt him to save them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Into the unknown
> 
> Today we have Malec! I'm gonna be honest, I don't know where exactly this would take place in the show timeline, it's up to you guys. Also, yeah, title from Run, Joey, Run 'cause I think I'm funny (I'm not). Enjoy! ♡
> 
> Warnings: Demoniac possession, daddy issues, stab wounds.

The minute he opened the door, he knew that wasn't Alec. Even before the creature let out their fully black eyes, Magnus knew it wasn't his Alexander.

The demon launched himself at Magnus, not trying to hide he went there for a fight.

Magnus managed to control it with magic, restraining it with glowing blue strings. He made sure they weren't too tight though, not wanting to hurt Alexander as a side effect.

The beast growled at him, rage in its terrifying eyes. There was something strange about it, this wasn't typical demon behaviour. Why would it possess Alec and direct him to Magnus place?

This was a planned action. One that, supposedly, had a reason. Inferior demons didn't follow plans unless they were being controled by someone else.

"Who sent you here?" Magnus asked, still concentrated on his magic so that the demon couldn't escape. "Is this supposed to be a message?"

"Dear old daddy said hi." It was like a slap in the face. Both knowing his father was involved and hearing that mechanic, gruesome version of Alec's voice talking to him.

"What does my father want?" He asked, trough gritted teeth. Asmodeus shouldn't mess with the people his son loves.

"To remind you what he can do. The people he can reach." The demon said, clearly sentences he had memorized previously for this. "Unless you surrender to your true calling."

Magnus couldn't believe this. Every once in a while, each other decade probably, his father sent a message about how great everything would be if they ruled Edom together.

Apparently Asmodeus realized that approach wasn't working, so he tried to be more forceful. And that was a huge mistake.

"How does my father even know about Alec?" He asked. "I know he hasn't been in this realm in a long time." Of course, since Magnus was the one who sent him away.

The demon had the audacity to laugh at him.  
"Gossip travels through realms." It said simply. The thought of beings in Edom discussing his private life was disturbing, at least.

Magnus clenched his jaw in anger. Asmodeus really took sticking a nose into your kids' bussiness seriously.

Before he could say anything else, the demon added:  
"Don't forget your next words could determine this nephilim's fate." It chuckled. "Test me and he dies."

That made Magnus hesitate for a second, which was sufficient to weaken the magic enough for the demon to escape.

It was fast to attack Magnus, who feared that attacking it back with magic would kill or seriously injure his lover.

The fight became physic, with Magnus unable to properly defend himself and the demon not holding back. He knew he needed to put an end to this before he got tired and the demon killed him.

Now, the demon obviously wouldn't get out of the body out of its own will. That was what protect it, after all. Which means, Magnus needed to find a way to kill it.

But how to do it without getting Alec caught in the crossfire?

The demon was smarter than it seemed, not letting Magnus concentrate or having both hands free for enough time to use magic to tie it again.

Getting a glimpse of the seraph blade on Alec's thigh holster, Magnus realized what he needed to do, but he absolutely _despised_ the idea.

He couldn't do that. Possessed or not, Alec was the love of his life and Magnus didn't want to hurt him.

But it seemed like he wouldn't be granted a choice on that matter. The longer he spent physically fighting the demon, the more tired and prone to making a mistake he got. That just made things more dangerous.

He took a deep breath. He had only one change to make this right. A step in the wrong direction and both he and Alec could end up dead.

He was quick; got the seraph blade to appear on his hand magically and stabbed Alec's body on the shoulder.

The effect was immediate; the demon started leaving his body, transforming into a dark smoke. Magnus got up, with the blade in his hands, and stabbed into the smoke.

It worked. The being just disintegrates, most likely going back to hell, where it belongs. Magnus had something more important to take care of right now.

He ran to his boyfriend, who was now sitting on the floor and looking completely lost. Alec probably didn't remember what happened.

"Alexander, can you hear me?" He asked, immediately starting to use his magic to heal the wound. "I'm so sorry, darling."

"Mags, what's... what's happening?" He looked around, surprised to even be in Magnus' place. The last thing he remembered was walking down the streets of Brooklyn.

"You were possessed. My... my father sent a demon to do so." Magnus was ashamed to even tell the story. "I had to stab you to get it to stop attacking me and make it leave your body. I'm really sorry, darling."

He never wanted his boyfriend to get hurt, much less be the one responsible for it happening. Being a shadowhunter already made Alec's life dangerous, he didn't need Magnus bringing his issues into it.

"Did it hurt you?" Alec said, suddenly noticing how disheveled Magnus looked.

"Seriously, darling? I'm literally healing your stab wound as we speak and that's your biggest concern?" That boy never stopped surprising him and making his heart warm.

"Yeah..." He answered, determined though still a little confused. "I'm okay. It doesn't even hurt."

"It doesn't hurt because of my magic. Here, good as new." He finished healing him. The cut wasn't too deep. "I mean it, Alexander. I'm really sorry to put you in this situation."

"It's okay, Mags. I know you're not your father. This isn't your fault." He promised. "I'm not hurt, I'm just... tired."

"C'mon, then, love. Let's get you to bed." Magnus said, helping him get up gently. "We can talk more in the morning."

Right now, he would watch over Alexander. In the morning, he would check if he was really okay already and probably apologize again.

But after he knew everything was fine, he would be drawing a pentagram and raising hell. Great demon or not, family member or not, _no one_ hurt his Alexander under his watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! More whump tomorrow. If you could leave a kudo or comment, I'd be really happy.


	16. How will my boyfriend understand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something terrible happens to omega!Alec and his siblings try to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A TRIGGERING ONE. Possibly the MOST triggering one of this entire thing. Please read the warnings carefully... There's also A/B/O here, which I know it's not for everyone, so... consider skipping this one if it makes you uncomfortable. Title from the song a million men. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️WARNINGS:⚠️ Rape off-screen, talks about rape and sexual assault, spiked drinks, HEAVY SELF VICTIM BLAMING, insecure!Alec, Alpha/beta/omega dynamics, self worth issues. KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, PLEASE.

  
He had already showered, even though it did not help him feel clean at all, and was now sitting on his bed wearing his most comfortable sweater and pajama pants.

It should make him feel at least a little bit better, but it didn't.

Jace and Isabelle were obviously worried. She sat on the edge of the bed and he leaned against the wall, wanting to offer comfort but not knowing what to say. Alec wasn't sure what he needed to hear either.

He always knew it was a possibility. Omegas weren't ever really safe, not in the mundane world and certainly not in the shadowworld either. But knowing it could happen and actually experiencing it were completely different things.

Besides, he had always thought that being the firstborn to an important family like the Lightwoods would keep Alpha shadowhunters from attacking him like  _that._ Sure, stares and lewd comments were inevitable, but he only really watched out for mundane Alphas, demons and downworld Alphas.

Unfortunately, not even the delicate issues of Shadowhunter's politics had stopped that young Alpha from taking what he wanted.

Under normal circumstances, Alec would have beat that guy and probably sent him home with an arrow stuck in his dick. But the guy probably knew that already, so he spiked Alec's drink just enough so his reflexes and strength weren't in their best state.

It was absolutely terrible and Alec didn't wish anything like that on his worst enemy.

"Alec..." Izzy called, stopping his train of thought. "How are you feeling? Do you need something?"

He just shrugged. He felt empty and dirty, but that wasn't very comforting so he kept it to himself. His siblings didn't need to know everything.

Jace sighed.  
"Maybe we should call Magnus?" He offered, and _that made_ _Alec's heart miss a beat._

"No, nonono. Magnus can't know about this, alright?" He said, already panicking. "Magnus can _never_ know about this."

He was soiled by the dirty touch of another Alpha. Magnus already deserved so much more than him before, but  _now?_

"He won't be mad at you for something that's not your fault." Izzy promised, frowning at him. "He'd never blame you for this."

Alec let tears fall from his eyes.   
"What if... what if he thinks I cheated?" He asked, not facing any of them. "What if he smell this other Alpha on me and just..." He trailed off.

"He would never accuse you of lying about something so serious. C'mon, Alec, you know that." Jace reminded him. "You got drugged, you fought against the attacker, you said no... that's rape, that's not consensual cheating."

Alec felt the shame burning as he realized that wasn't completely true. He did say no at the beginning, many times, but then...

"He... he made me beg." He confessed in a whisper, mortified by his own actions.

"What?" Jace asked, and Alec wasn't sure if he didn't listen the first time or just couldn't believe his ears.

"The guy who did this to me. He... he put his seraph against my neck and said I had to beg... to- to beg for him to fu-fuck me or he'd kill me." He explained. "So I did."

He full on sobbed after that, embarrassed and feeling more like a failure than he ever had in his life. He couldn't believe how weak he had been.

"I'm so sorry, Alec." Izzy touched his shoulder lightly, trying to offer comfort without startling him.

"I should have let him kill me!" Alec ignored what she said, too disturbed by this thought. "Now I don't even have a decent excuse to give my- my Alpha... how can- how can I say I didn't want it, if I begged for it?"

He had waited _so long_ to finally find an Alpha who loved him for who he was, and now he went and screwed everything up, just like he always knew he would.

He didn't know if it was for better or for worse that they hadn't been mated yet.

" _Alec!"_ Jace sounded absolutely scandalized at that. "Don't say that, alright? You did what you had to do to survive."

"Alec... look at me, plesse." Isabelle asked, voice soft. He did so, hesitantly. "No one would ever hold that against you. You were just protecting yourself."

His sister was being sincere, she really believed what she was saying, Alec could tell. But he wasn't too sure he believed it as well.

Being Magnus' boyfriend was a privilege and it should come first. Even if Magnus didn't blame him for it, he would be able to _smell_ another Alpha on him for the next few days.

Alec understood that it could be a deal breaker. Alphas were extremely sensitive to smells, especially when it came to omegas.

He knew other people could smell Magnus on him really clearly, if Izzy's knowing smirk and Jace's playful mock disgust whenever he come back from his boyfriend's place were anything to go by.

"No, no, he can't know." Alec insisted, shaking his head. "I'll just... avoid him until the smell goes away. He doesn't need to know how dirty I am."

Maybe he was a bad person for this. For wanting to keep from Magnus that his lover was nothing more than damaged goods.

"You're just scared. And that's okay, what happened to you was pretty terrifying." Izzy said. "But lying to your boyfriend won't solve anything. He'll know something is up with you, because he knows you and he _cares._ "

"Please, don't tell him!" Alec rushed to say. After all, his siblings were both Alphas, so maybe they'd feel sorry for Magnus and want to tell him.

He supposed no Alpha would appreciate being lied to like that. Maybe there was some kind of solidarity regarding that? Alpha code or some shit?

"Of course not. We wouldn't tell anyone this unless you said it was okay." Izzy promised. "But I still think pretending nothing happened is not the solution."

Relief flooded through him. Maybe hiding it was a stupid idea, but having the choice taken from him was terrifying.

"No one will force you to do anything." Jace reminded him. "We just want to help, and I bet Magnus will want the same thing."

Alec knew, deep down, that it made sense. Magnus had been nothing but extremely respectful and kind to him since they met. He obviously wouldn't condone what that Alpha did to him.

Plus, he hated the idea of lying to Magnus, of hiding important things from him. He knew communication was important.

But the raw _fear_ of being judged, of being seeing as less, as something unworthy of his love paralyzed him. It left him unable to think clearly.

"You know what? Nothing needs to be decided now." Izzy reminded him. "You should rest now, we can talk more later."

Yeah, that was probably for the best. He could already feel his breath starting to get quicker just from thinking about that, about how would he move on with his life from now on.

"You want us to leave so you can take a nap?" Jace offered, but Alec shook his head. He didn't want to be alone.

"Can you... can you two hold me?" He whispered, embarrassed with how much he craved for their comfort.

They both let out little shaky smiles like that, happy he was asking for what he needed, but extremely sad because of the situation.

They sat closer to him, one in each side, wrapping their arms around him tightly. Izzy laid her head on his shoulder as well.

He started sobbing again, so many emotions washing through him at the same time, and his siblings said nothing, just held tighter. Their familiar scent was enough to keep him from spiralling with panic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... heartbreaking, right? I'm sorry (not really). Hope it made you feel things. More tomorrow.


	17. That's the thing about illicit affairs and clandestine meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Auradonians aren't exactly open-minded, so Jay and Carlos have to hide. Carlos is really tired of suppressing himself for other people's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not see that coming.
> 
> I'm sorry, this one is possibly trigerring as well, but for other reasons. READ THE WARNINGS CAREFULLY. It's Jaylos, and I admit Jay is a little bit of an asshole here for a little while, but poor boy just wanted to fit in. This one is a bigger chapter. Title from the song illicit affairs. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️WARNINGS:⚠️ MAJOR THEMES ABOUT HOMOPHOBIA, INCLUDING SLURS. Prejudice, hate speech, slurs, internalized homophobia. Mentions of sex, couple fighting, very mild violence (but it's against an homophobe, so it's fine). PLEASE BE SAFE.

Physical affection wasn't a thing back on the Isle.

Actually, _affection_ wasn't a thing back on the Isle. Not that people didn't feel it, but the ones who did it had to hide.

Not only was it seen as useless, but it could easily make you more vulnerable. You would just show everyone who were the people you cared about, which could lead them to use that against you.

Making out was okay. Hell, even sex sometimes. Those dirty back alleys had certainly seen _a lot_ of things, especially late at that. People didn't care about the depravity at all.

But actually being loving with someone? Playing with their hair, holding hands or pecking their lips lightly? Or even just telling people you were together? That just didn't happen. No one had the time to deal with this kind of drama.

It wasn't different when Jay and Carlos got together. They were subtle about it, or at least as much as they could be. Only Mal and Evie really knew about them.

It was tiring to keep hiding all the time. Carlos felt especially sad at not being able to be bold about it. With how much of himself he had to suppress to appease Cruella, he hated he had to suppress his relationship to appease others as well.

So, when they got to Auradon they were mesmerized. Couples walked arm in arm down the school halls, a prince and a princess had a picnic date in public, people kissed their lovers gently on the lips without checking if someone was watching.

Carlos asked, and Jay agreed that it would be okay for them to tell people they were together, for them to hold hands and all the nice stuff just like the AKs.

But they figured they might as well ask someone about how relationships worked there, just to be sure.

"Sure, as long as you keep it G-rated, PDA is fairly common here." Ben assured them, a bright smile on his face. "I'm sure you saw couples holding hands down the halls."

Carlos nodded, enthusiastically.  
"So people really wouldn't mind if me and Jay did that?" He asked. Ben's expression changed quickly.

"Wait, you mean... you mean you two are boyfriends?" The prince asked, certainly surprised.

Jay frowned.  
"Yeah, man. Why else would we ask?" He said. "Is this going to be a problem?"

Ben looked conflicted, like he needed to say something he didn't want to say or, at least, he didn't know how.

"Absolutely not for me, there's nothing wrong with this. But I can't lie to you guys either." He explained. "Many people are still really close minded here. You'll certainly get weird stares and comments you don't deserve. It probably won't do much right away but I promise, once my coronation happens, I'll pass an anti-discrimination law that-"

"Wait, people will be mad at us holding hands just because we're a couple from the Isle?" Jay asked, confused.

Ben blinked slowly.  
"No. It's because you're both guys." He clarified. "I've been trying to change the mindset of other royals for a long time, but homophobia is really persistent. I'll be able to do more once I'm king, though, I promise."

"Why... why would people care about that?" Carlos asked, extremely confused. This made no sense at all.

"Because they're bigots. There's no other way to say it." Ben said. "Look, I'm only saying this for you to be prepared, but I think it's great if you want to come out. I'll stand up for you if the guys give you shit at tourney."

"At tourney?" Jay asked, suddenly concerned. That was one of his favorite parts of Auradon so far.

"Yeah. The whole high school reputation is kind of a big thing for most players, and they can be mean about it." Ben said. "Don't worry, I've got your back."

Carlos had to hold back a scoff. Yeah, like the angelic prince could do shit to keep either of them safe.

He could tell the moment Jay decided he didn't want to risk it. They were already judged for who their parents were, they didn't need more judging.

Carlos sighed, things were too good to be true anyway. Well, he hided his whole life, how bad could it be?

••

Bad. It was pretty fucking back.  
Six months in and Carlos was going out of his mind.

First of all, it was so much sadder not being able to be affectionate in public when it felt like every one else was. At least on the Isle everyone was on the same boat.

Every time a tourney player blew a kiss to his cheerleader girlfriend, it felt like a punch in the gut. Carlos only played tourney for a few months, soon giving up on the activity, but he liked to stay to watch. It was tiring to check himself all the time not to stare too long at Jay and get caught.

After Jay made it to captain, things got worse. He started spending even more time with the team, which meant more time away from Carlos, or at least pretending they were just friends. It didn't help that some of the guys were assholes either.

But the worst of all, is that people kind of expected the captain to be a player, pun unintended. Jay already had a flirty nature, so that pressure to make a scene and flirt with cheerleaders was driving Carlos  _insane._

"What... what are you doing?" Carlos asked, sitting up on the bed. Jay and him had just had a _very_ good time, when Jay got up and started putting his clothes back on.

They never did this. They always cuddled afterwards, sometimes for hours on end.

Jay frowned.  
"I told you earlier that I'm going to meet up with the team." He reminded him, already putting on his shirt. "It's not practice, but we wanted to discuss techniques for the next big game."

Carlos' face fell.  
"Oh, right..." He said, rather awkwardly. "I thought that was only later though?"

"Yeah, but the guys want to grab something to eat first." Jay answered.

Carlos tried to tell himself it was silly to get upset over that, but it was hard to think so when he felt so... used.

"Well... I hope you have fun." He said, through gritted teeth. Unfortunately, Carlos wasn't a good actor and Jay knew him well anyway, frowning at the reaction.

"You okay?" He asked. "You're... you're not mad that I'm hanging out with them, right? I mean, those are kind of my friends now."

Carlos let out a bitter laugh.  
"Yeah, your friends who wouldn't even accept you if they knew who you are." He didn't mean to start a fight, but he couldn't hold that in anymore.

Jay obviously didn't like that, his posture changing at hearing this. The idea of finally fitting in could be too great to realize that it wasn't fitting in if he had to lie to be accepted.

"I thought you supported me playing tourney. I'm sorry to tell you, but interacting with the team is part of that." Jay said. "Maybe they don't know the whole truth, but this is still the happiest I've ever been."

"And fuck how I feel, right?" Carlos fired back. He was tired of being in second place to Jay's jock reputation or whatever.

"What do you even mean by that?" Jay was getting annoyed. "Just because I have something in my life that doesn't include you, that means I don't care about your feelings?"

"No, you jerk." He raised his voice. "Maybe I feel like that because I'm tired of being your dirty little secret!"

Jay seemed startled by that, like he had never considered that before.  
"C'mon, you know it's not like that." He insisted.

"Oh really? You come here and fuck me, then just get up once you're done, hurrying to get back at pretending you're straight and flirting with cheerleaders." He spat out. "I'm only good enough behind close doors. That's the definition of a dirty secret."

"I can't believe you'd accuse me that!" Jay yelled back. "You know how I feel about you. You know I love you, that's not fair."

"Do I? Do I really know that?" He asked. "Maybe you should try showing it every once in a while. I'm not sure if you love me when you treat me like that."

That hurt Jay, Carlos could tell as soon as he said it. Being accused of not loving him.

Then the hurt look on his face turned into an angry one. A silent 'how dare you?' clear in his eyes. But Carlos was not backing down.

Jay clenched his teeth, turned around and _left._ He fucking left, like an asshole. To say Carlos was pissed was a understantement.

••

He didn't talk to Jay when he came back and he didn't talk to Jay on the next day. He slept on his own bed for the first time since they moved to Auradon.

Jay tried to initiate conversation twice, but Carlos ignored him. The silent treatment might be childish, but so was storming out and not even apologizing for it.

He would have avoided watching practice as well, but Ben asked him if he wasn't coming and he _really_ didn't want to explain what happened to Ben. So he pretended everything was fine.

Jay was changing in the locker room, the coach wasn't there yet and some of the teammates were already outside, talking. Carlos sat on the bleachers, right behind them. What they were saying eventually caught his attention.

"C'mon, guys. That's not funny." Ben said, looking like he was losing his patience.

"Of course it is. The girl he slept with turned out to be a dyke." Chad said, laughing and pointing at another team-mate. "His game is so bad, he turned her gay."

"You shouldn't say that. You really shouldn't." Ben said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, she's not even a lesbian, she's bisexual. He didn't turn her into anything."

"C'mon, Ben. Stop defending him, this doesn't exist." Another guy piped up. "People just keep making up new words. Our generation is all fucked up."

Carlos could feel his blood boiling, but kept his mouth shut. Ben was the next in line for the throne, no one would pick up a fight with him over it, but they surely could give Carlos a hard time for saying the same things Ben did.

"Oh my God, there's so much wrong with what you just said." Ben shook his head. "This isn't a thing from people our age. You know Li-Shang is openly bisexual, right?"

"C'mon, he ended up marrying Mulan, so he's straight." Chad said, laughing. "Ben, why do you insist on defending these people? Like, we all know you're normal, what do you gain from it?"

"I honestly don't know why I put up with you guys..." Ben sighed, tired of that bullshit.

"If gay people don't like people making fun of them, they should just let go of that phase and be normal." Another one said."Is that too much to ask?"

"Of course it is, you fucking asshole." Carlos didn't realize he was yelling until the words were already out.

Everything was still for a while. All the guys turned to look at him, slowly. Ben was wide-eyed, knowing exactly why Carlos was so offended.

"Look who finally grew some balls." One of them said. "What, De vil? Got all pissy on some fairy's behalf or are you one?"

"So what if I am?" Carlos asked, getting up. Ben opened his month to intervene but Carlos held a hand for him to shut up. He could stand up for himself. "Why would my sexuality be any of your business? Unless you're interested, of course."

The boys made a chorus of shocked interjections. Carlos wasn't usually like this, but he had been angry the whole day and enough was enough.

The guy walked up closer to him, and for a moment, Carlos expected to get punched in the face. But all he did was talk through gritted teeth:  
"What did you say, you little-"

Carlos interrupted, not really down to listening more of his derogatory terms.  
"Don't worry, you're safe." He said. "I wouldn't touch any of you, even if all other guys disappeared from the face of the earth."

The guy got him by the lapel of his shirt, and okay, _now_ he was probably going to get that punch.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Jay finally arrived and wasn't happy with that clusterfuck. "Let him go!" The guy obeyed hesitantly.

"Did you know that your friend is a little fairy?" Chad asked, clearly thinking that was just too funny. "I bet that's why he keeps watching practice, the little freak."

Carlos wasn't exactly sure what he expected. He trusted Jay enough not to side up with Chad, but he thought Jay would, at best, tell them he knew and it didn't matter to him and at worse tell them he didn't know and try to change the focus of the conversation.

But Jay got mad. Really, truly mad. Fire in his eyes and everything.

"Yeah, he's not straight. But neither am I." Jay said, looking Chad dead in the eye. "And if any of you even think about laying your hands on my _boyfriend_ again, I'll cut them off."

Carlos did not expect that. He had to fight a smile, because the situation was still on fire, but he had never been prouder in his life.

A stunned silence followed, but it was soon broken by one of the dudes Carlos didn't bother remembering the name.  
"Dude, what the fuck?" He asked, appalled by the idea. "That's disgusting. I can understand De vil being that way, but you?"

The guy got a punch that most likely broke his nose, and it took Ben and Carlos working together to make Jay stop trying to attack him.

"You know what? Fuck you. If you guys can't accept me and 'Los, then you're gonna lose me." He yelled. "Get your head out of your asses or good lucky playing against Neverland High without a captain."

He turned around, muttering a small "let's go, 'Los" under his breath, before leaving without looking back. He didn't need them.

The injured guy was yelling something Carlos couldn't distinguish as the other team mates helped him with the bloody nose he had totally deserved.

Carlos followed his boyfriend, not too sure of what to say. He wasn't even mad about the day before anymore, but he wasn't sure what Jay needed either.

Thankfully, he didn't need to figure it out, because as soon as they were out of the field, Jay stopped on his tracks and started talking.

"I'm sorry." He said, simply. "I'm really sorry for the last few months."

"It's okay." Carlos assured. "I get it. You were desperate to fit in. I know how hard it is, especially here in Auradon."

"It's not okay. You were right, I was treating you like a side affair or something. You deserved better than that." Jay insisted. "I was just... so happy about the idea of being part of a team that I didn't think about how any of this would affect you. That was awful of me."

"Alright, maybe it was not okay. But I forgive you." Carlos clarified. "I'm also sorry for pressuring you into this. I feel like I might have taken tourney from you, but that's not what I wanted at all."

Sure, he got jealous and lonely, but it wasn't the sport's fault but the people. He never wanted to take from Jay something he enjoyed.

"I did this for myself. Again, you were right, they're not my friends if they can't accept me. If they can't accept _us."_ Jay said, touching his lover's face gently. "I'm also sorry for storming off yesterday. And for taking the whole day to apologize."

"It's all good now." Carlos insisted, then pecked his lips slightly. The first time they kissed in public. "I'm really happy for how things turned out. And I... I really hope you don't have to quit tourney."

"Coach won't kick me out, 'cause I'm pretty sure Ben will vouch for me on this one. I'll only quit if the other boys don't stop being assholes." Jay said. "The awful things they said... honestly? I don't want to fit in with anyone who thinks _this_ is wrong."

He took Carlos' hand in his, intertwining their fingers. The boy just smiled, feeling his butterflies at finally being able to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, it's a fluffy ending! I actually like this one.   
> Comments are welcome. See you guys tomorrow.


	18. I'm a mess right now, inside out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil has panic attacks frequently, but he doesn't know what they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic! at the disco
> 
> So, hey... possibly triggering for descriptions of panic attacks (I promise next chapter will be less triggering). So, please, be safe. The end is not exactly happy either. Oops. Title from "I'm a mess" by Ed Sheeran. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Detailed descriptions of panic attacks. That's the main topic here, so be safe. Child abuse, insecure!Gil, mentions of homophobia and sexism.

Gil hated when this happened, he fucking _loathed_ it.

He hated it even more that there were just so many things that could cause it. Most of the time, something his father said or did. Sometimes things got rough at school. Occasionally things even got rough at the crew.

And any of those things could just lead him to panic and feel like dying in a matter of minutes, seconds even.

Gaston was... difficult to please, to say the least. Being his son wasn't easy; it was hard to maintain that perfect equilibrium where he's good enough to make his father proud but not too good that he would get jealous. Gaston had to be the best at everything, no questions asked.

His father liked that he was a pirate, but was enraged he wasn't a captain. Even more enraged that he followed orders from a _girl._ Gil thought that was just stupid, but the one time he voiced the thought, it costed him a broken finger.

The man also had a fondness for yelling at him for little things, which was the thing Gil had the most trouble with.

He almost always cried when his father began screaming everything he thinks is wrong with Gil. Which sucks, because it only made him angrier. The man hated that his own son wasn't tough enough.

Gil shivered only thinking about what his father would do if he ever found out Gil liked boys. That's why he never acted upon it, it was not worth the risk. Gaston was obsessed with whatever he considered 'manly' and 'mighty' or whatever. So yeah...  _difficult._

But his father's anger wasn't the only thing that made his body play tricks on him.

Sometimes something as silly as having trouble with school stuff would make him that way.

He just hates feeling dumb, or dumber than usual. His father also liked to point out that about him, so he didn't need his inability to do easy school tasks to confirm it as well.

It was especially stressing since most people he knew didn't care about school at all and were still better at it than him. Just dwelling on it too much made him feel bad already.

And then there was the ship. Don't get him wrong, the absolute best part of his day was being there. He loved being a pirate, he loved being part of the crew. The only truly happy memories he had were made in those moments.

But the thing is, he had a strong sense of loyalty and an extremely low perception of self-worth. So whatever something went wrong with the pirates, he felt like he was somehow responsible for it and he _hated_ it.

He also had problems when people from the crew began fighting. Of course, people would rarely ever pick up fights with Uma herself, but every group had their tensions, of course. Especially a big group like the crew.

They didn't usually pick up fights with him either, mostly because he avoided conflict like the plague. Well, unless the conflict was against a rival group, of course. Again, sense of loyalty.

Anyway, he didn't appreciate any kind of shouting matches and threats, even if they weren't directed at him.

All of these things, and some more could drive him into that weird state he can't exactly describe. The one where it felt like he would die, even though he knew he wouldn't.

It usually starts with his hands getting shaky because of how distressed he was. Then, he would begin to sweat, even when it was cold.

The more clear it became that he was getting those stupid things again, the more distressed he got, which only made everything worse. He did his best to control it, and depending on what started it, he could calm himself down.

If it was something minor like a question he got the answer wrong in his mind, no one else to hear him being _fucking stupid,_ he could stop it before it got worse.

Things escalate once his chest starts to hurt and his throat feels tight. The first time it happened, he had been sure it was a heart attack. It wasn't. But he had no idea what it was as well.

When his dad is being particularly mean and Gil cried a lot, it felt like he truly couldn't breath. It's like his lungs just refuse to work, but somehow he still doesn't die.

He never knows how long the worst ones take, usually feeling so numb afterwards that he would just lose the concept of time for a while. The lighter ones he knew were quick, at least.

The most frustrating thing is that he didn't even _know_ what those were. Was it all his mind playing tricks on him? Was he having some kind of weird hallucinations? Did he actually have some kind of uncurable disease that would just kill him eventually?

He wanted the answers, despite fearing them. If he was dying, then he was dying. There were no hospitals or healing magic available on the Isle for him to seek anyway. He just needed to _know._

Which was unfortunate since he had no actual plans of telling anyone about those.

His father had witnessed some, since he often was the cause of them, but it just pissed him off that his son was so weak. There was no way in hell Gil would go for him for advice.

As much as he liked the other members of the crew, his only true friends were Uma and Harry. He didn't want to bother either of them with something they couldn't fix, to begin with.

And he certainly did not want to appear useless to them. Gil thrived when he felt like he was being useful for someone, that's why doing tasks in the ship was so much fun. So the thought of being less in their eyes was troubling at least.

Right now, Gil was sitting on the floor of his room after being yelled at by his father again. He didn't even remember the reason, but it was certainly enough to send him into one of these again.

It could have been worse, he cried and his chest hurt a little, maybe he felt a little dizzy afterwards, but at least he didn't lose his breath. Small blessings.

Even though his legs felt like jelly, he managed to get up. He couldn't just sit there all day, waiting for an impossible solution to fall on his lap.

He needed to go on as he always did. Get up and go on, live his life pretending he had it under control until these either went away or killed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, Gil.   
> More coming tomorrow.


	19. I loved and I loved and I lost you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A study on Sam and Dean losing people through the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broken hearts
> 
> I'm not really too sure about this one, tbh :/ But I liked the ending, I'll give you that. Title from hurts like hell. Enjoy!♡   
> Warnings: death, a lot of death. Canon typical violence.

It's no secret that grief is a recurring theme to Sam and Dean Winchester.

There wasn't any other way, really. Not for two hunters who lost their mother to a demon when they were children.

But Mary was only the first of many losses. Perhaps, the one that started all the others. Sam didn't even remember anything about her, but he knew that was the loss that shaped his most of his life.

Dean remembered more than his brother did, which still wasn't a lot. But enough to grow up missing her.

Then, over twenty years later, Sam lost Jess as well. He never wanted to go back to hunting, perfectly happy with the life he was building for himself away from all of that, but getting justice for Jess was worth it. Jess was worth it.

With her death, came the overwhelming guilt of knowing it happened because of him. She could have had a happy, fulfilling life, she could have graduated and lived her dreams if only she had never met Sam Winchester.

Obviously, Dean wasn't that close to her, but it was gut-wrecking to watch the effect her death had on his brother.

It was weird when their dad died. They weren't exactly on the best of terms, they never were. But it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Dean tried not to feel guilty over it, since it was his father decision to make that deal, but he had always had the tendency to blame himself for the things that went wrong with people around him.

And then _Sam_ died. Dean thought he had already experienced the worst grief could offer him, but he found out he was absolutely wrong once he held his brother's lifeless body in his arms.

There was no pain greater than that. Dean couldn't imagine living in a world without Sam, so he didn't. He made a deal and brought Sam back.

But then, _Dean_ died. Sam knew that this would happen, he knew about the deal and how their time was running out, but nothing could have prepared him for that.

He tried to do the same thing Dean had done for him, but he failed. He wasn't able to save his brother back and that was what hurt him the most.

After that, life became even more messy than usual. Apparently, there were so many more about the supernatural that they haven't got to yet.

It seemed that not only hell was a thing, but so was heaven and a bunch of other things. People could die and come back via multiple sources. That only made their experience with death _harder._

Yes, at least now when someone died they get to wonder if that person will ever come back. At least they could have hope.

But hope is only as beautiful as it is dangerous. Having too much of it can end up crushing you if things don't turn out as you hoped they would.

They lost a lot of people through the years. And thankfully, some they did got back.

Each other, to begin with. More than once they had to wonder whether that would truly be the last breath, only to rise from the ashes again.

That could seem good, that neither of them had died definitely, but honestly? Dean was tired of losing Sam over and over and Sam was tired of losing Dean over and over.

They got Cas back, more than once as well. He became part of them, a true Winchester. There was no way they could ever leave him behind.

Castiel abandoned heaven because of them, he chose them over everything else more than once and grieving him was one of the most painful losses they experienced.   
Especially for Dean.

They got Eileen back. Sam hadn't anticipated that at all, but he couldn't be happier that he managed to bring her back.

Over a short period of time, they grew close. She was an excellent hunter and an even better person, and losing her as well did a number on them. So getting her back meant a lot, especially for Sam.

They got Jack back. As troubled as Dean's relationship with the kid was, he knew he didn't deserve to die.

Sam felt utterly helpless as he watched Chuck kill the kid, someone who was Chuck's own blood, right in front of them. It felt like losing a child. Probably because that was exactly what it was.

Getting Jack back gave them strength, which they desperately needed if they wanted to fight Chuck. Soulless or not, that kid was already part of them.

Unfortunately, not all the people they lost were so lucky and it could be hard to accept that.

Bobby didn't get to come back. Sure, maybe Bobby from another reality, but that wasn't _their_ Bobby. Not the Bobby that raised them.

At least they were able to send him to heaven. At the very least they were able to save the soul of the only one who took care of them, and for that they would be always thankful.

They never got Charlie back either. It was certainly one of the worst ones, those things you can't get out of your head. Because in one way or another, Charlie died for them.

Dean never fulled recover from that loss and Sam still blamed himself for what happened to her.

Technically, they did get Mary back, but lost her again and this time for good. The way everything happened just made it worst.

Mary was a gift, since what they most desperately wanted from life for the longest time was having a mother. Having that taken from them was the sickest trick destiny could have played.

They also never got Kevin back. Not besides seeing his ghost a couple of times. Dean hated himself every time he thought about Kevin's death. He was the one who let Gadreel stay, they were the ones who pulled Kevin into this mess to begin with.

Sam wasn't much better on the self-blaming. After all, it was his body used to kill his friend.Those were his hands, even if the powers and the intention weren't his.

All and all, Dean and Sam had a pretty complicated relationship with death since they were kids. Death seemed to follow them even more than it did to other hunters.

They lost people every time and what followed it was always uncertain. They could be back next week, in a few years or not at all. And the Winchesters never knew which one it would be until it happened.

The only one they never lost was grief itself. Oh no, that one is never going to leave their side...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments are always appreciated.


	20. If you think I'm pretty you should see me in a crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Jonathan Morgenstern is a cruel man. He's not above kidnapping his own subjects and making them slaves, for himself or as a gift to other royals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toto, I have a feeling we're not in kansas anymore
> 
> I think this one turned out good. So, Magnus is undercover as one of the bad guys so he can defeat them, but don't worry, it's all an act. I'll shut up before I spoil too much. Title from "You should see me in a crown". Also I didn't research any medieval shit for this, sorry. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Slavery, sexual slavery, mentions of rape (doesn't happen to MC), slight child abuse, violence.

Alec didn't like to admit when he was scared. But there was no way to mistake the paralyzing feeling going through him as he sat on that dark room.

Earlier that day, he had been harvesting with his brother as the King's knights approached and took him.

It wasn't an unknown practice. King Jonathan was known for being one of the most cruel rulers their kingdom had seen, second place only to his father.

He sent his knights to collect slaves whenever he felt one was needed in his castle. There seemed to be no consistency with the abductions; just random people from any land Jonathan ruled over. Men, woman and even children.

It was a true nightmare. At least Alec could be relieved that they didn't took his brother as well, just him.

He wasn't the only one in that dark room. He couldn't see much, but he could hear and feel the others. The sound of a young child crying stood out among the pleas for help.

Alec, however stayed quiet. He knew what he was, a peasant about to become a slave. Nothing he could say or do could change that, he had nothing to offer the King in exchange for his freedom.

Suddenly, the door opened and Alec's eyes hurt with the sudden light. The  
King himself walked into the room, followed by four knights.

This was unheard of. King Jonathan was known for avoiding interacting with his subjects and everyone else he considered beneath him.

Now that his eyes adjusted, Alec could finally see the people stuck there with him. A woman with sad blue eyes holding her child, a guy slightly younger than Alec, a crying teenage girl dressed in nothing but rags... all types of people, all miserable.

Jonathan smiled wickedly.  
"Many new pieces to my collection, I see." He said. "But that's not what I'm here for today. It's time to collect gifts."

Alec had no idea what that meant, but it didn't sound good.

"Your majesty, there were thirteen captures today." One of the knights explained. "Only the most enticing specimens we found, as requested."

"Excellent. Now let's see what we have here." He started walking through the room slowly, paying attention to every face he saw.

He was evaluating them, deciding which ones would be better for the purpose he had determined.

Wait, did the guard said something about especially choosing people he deemed "enticing"? Alec gulped. They're probably there to fulfill a very specific _role_ then.

"Oh, this one here. Pale, petit... Lord **Dieudonn** é will love this one." The King said, crouching down to touch the face of the woman who pressed her toddler against her chest. "Get her."

The guards had to fight to take the child away from her. Both mother and kid cried and yelled. Alec had to look the other way.

"Please, d-don't! My son, please! I'm all he has! Please, your majesty, have mercy!" She begged, as a knight carelessly threw her child on the ground.

Jonathan backhanded her with enough force to make her turn her head.

"Mercy is for the weak." He said simply. "As for your son, I'm sure we can figure a useful role for him. If you don't behave, that role will be teaching you a lesson."

She shut up after the clear threat on her child's life. Jonathan always followed through his threats, he ruled through fear.

With that, he kept walking, playing close attention to them, studying their characteristics.

"Hm... Lady Belcourt will love this one. Tan skin, dark hair, sad eyes... exactly what she likes." He gestured to a boy who _couldn't_ be over eighteen. "She'll appreciate the gift."

The boy obeyed the guards silently, learning from the example of the woman and child who got hurt right in front of them.

Alec didn't know what to expect. He definitely didn't want to be gifted to someone, the idea made him want to vomit. But what was the alternative? Would he be freed, killed or kept by the King?

"Oh, God. This one." His thoughts were interrupted by the King locking eyes with him and grabbing his chin hard enough to bruise. "This is perfect for Lord Bane."

*  
The guards, as expected, were brutes. Alec had his hands roped together and his ankles were also tied, only leaving enough space for him to walk. He fell down countless times during the way, falling to keep up with them.

They reached one of the rooms in the castle, clearly a very important area as well. Lord Bane must be a very powerful one.

"My Lord?" One of the guards called, knocking on the door. Alec realized the man was nervous as well, afraid that the lord wouldn't like the gift he brought and take it out on him.

It made a little easier to see these men as humans. People who were also terrified of the King. But they could still at least _try_ to show some compassion, right?

The door opened and the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen stood there, eyebrow arched at being interrupted.

He eyed Alec up and down.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" His tone was harsh and so were his eyes. Alec gulped, dreading all possible outcomes of this.

"My Lord, the King brings you a gift. Tomorrow we'll conquer the land of the north thanks to your marvellous orchestrating of the situation." The same guard spoke again. "His majesty thought you deserved a reward for that."

"Oh, that I do. Lucian Graymark won't know what hit him." Bane said, sounding proud of himself.

Wait, they would attack King Lucian's land tomorrow? That's insane, the northern lands are double the size of their kingdom, and richer as well.

Lord Bane must be flawless at battle strategy if they were all that confident their methods would work. This would make them the most powerful kingdom in the whole continent.

"Yes, my Lord. So King Jonathan graciously chose a slave specifically to please you, as a gift." The man said. Alec looked down at the ground, ashamed.

Lord Bane, however, lift his chin with a touch gentler than Alec would have expected.

"The king surely knows my tastes well." He said, a smile on his lips. "Tell King Jonathan I appreciate this. I'll go have my fun now, you're dismissed."

With that, Alec was roughly pushed inside the room, being followed by Bane, who locked the door behind them.

Alec didn't want to seem as vulnerable as he did at that moment, but the moment the door closed behind him, he closed his eyes and concentrated on not letting the tears leave his eyes.

He refused to allow himself to cry in front of the lord. If he was friends with the King, he must be a cruel man as well.

Alec knew what he was there for. Nobody would choose a house slave for their beauty only. No, he was there for another type of duty.

He tries to convince himself that it could be way worse. That he could be given to some old pervert that would gross him out or to a lady he wouldn't know how to pleasure. But it didn't stop the dread running through him.

"Oh, dear. I'm sorry for this." Lord Bane said, voice barely above a whisper. His tone was softer and so were his eyes. In a matter of seconds that man looked like a whole new person. "I'm going to untie you, if that's okay. What's your name?"

Alec raised his hands so the man could free him. He found the question suspicious though, maybe he was trying to trick Alec into misbehaving already?

"Uh... it's whatever you want?" He tried, not really sure what was the appropriate response to that. "Lord Bane. I- I mean, sir."

"You don't need to do this. None of it will matter tomorrow." He made his voice even quieter, a proper whisper. "This kingdom won't be the same anymore and neither will the King."

Something clicked inside Alec's brain at those words. He may not have had access to the literature the royals had, but he was a fairly intelligent man.

"You're... you're a traitor. You're siding with Luke Graymark? Why are you even telling me this?" His eyes widened as he realized how disrespectful he had been. "I'm so sorry, sir. I don't know why I said that."

Lord Bane chuckled.  
"It's fine. And you can call me Magnus. Now please would you tell me your name?"

"Alec. Alec Lightwood." He said. "I'm sorry for accusing you of such a thing."

"Of being something I am? It's fine, Alexander. I mean, that's what your name is short for, right?" Alec nodded. "Look, I only told you to give you some sense of comfort. You seemed like you were about to pass out from how nervous you are... nothing about this is permanent."

Alec could feel himself getting bolder. If the man still hasn't whipped him bloody for accusing him of high treason, then it was probably safe to talk to him.

"But... you just risked your plan to comfort me?" He couldn't imagine a royal being this selfless.

Magnus snorted.  
"I didn't risk anything. Alexander, I don't mean to be rude, but even if you had a death wish and managed to escape this room with the intention of talking to the king about my plans, the knights would get to you before you reached the stairs." He said and, well, that made sense.

Alec wasn't exactly in a position of power there. Even if he wanted to disrupt the plans, he couldn't. And honestly, he did _not_ want to.

"Does that mean that you'll be the King soon?" Alec asked. "Or will it be Graymark?"

He had no idea why didn't just keep his mouth shut. He wasn't usually this talkative, what is wrong with him?

"Me. That's the deal, he dethrones his biggest enemy and gains an ally. I gain a kingdom." He explained. "But let's not talk about politics right now."

That was probably Alec's cue. Knowing Magnus was soon to become king only made him more nervous.

Failing to please a Lord could be dangerous, but failing to please the King? Bane could have his head on a silver plate the very next day.

"There's not... there's not much I know, but I can be good for you." He promised, getting on his knees in front of the man. He needed to perform like his life depended on it, because it probably did.

Magnus grimaced.  
"No, no, no. Please, darling, get up." Alec looked puzzled, but still obeyed. "I think you misunderstood. You don't need to do _any_ of this. Tomorrow you'll be a free man."

"What?" Alec was starting to think the man was playing a game with him. "This... this can't be true."

"Graymark doesn't believe in slavery and neither do I." Magnus promised. "I'll let you and every other slave go as soon as I'm King."

His eyes started to water, from the first time since this awful day started it was from happiness and not fear. He shouldn't let his hopes high like this, but he could feel Magnus Bane could be trusted.

He might be an excellent actor when talking to the guards, convincing even Jonathan he was one of them, but inside that room, his eyes became soft and his tone gentle. His words were sincere.

"I'll... really get to see my family again?" He asked, voice small and hopeful. Magnus smiled blindly at him.

"Of course. I promise I'll personally take you back to your village, Alexander." He said. "And don't worry, I know I'm not King yet, but I won't lay a single finger on you, alright? Let the knights think whatever they want."

"Thank you." He let a single tear spill. "You're a good man, Magnus Bane."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! In case you're wondering: Magnus and Luke succeeded and Jonathan is now dead. Yay!  
> Please, leave a comment or kudo of you have the time. Thanks for reading!


	21. Trying to keep him warm, trying to keep out the cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets hurt, so Castiel, Sam and Dean come to rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't feel so well
> 
> YES. I'M LATE. Posting twice today (I hope).  
> This one is completely self-indugent, no excuses. I'm not that sure it's any good, but here we go. Title from "Rockabye" which makes a lot of sense to this chapter.   
> Set after Jack lost his grace. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️Warnings:⚠️ MENTIONS OF SUICIDE but it's brief, self-worth issues, accidents

Jack felt more humiliation than anything else.

He was supposed to be an all-mighty being, stronger than the most powerful angels. But without his grace he was just... a boy.

And, well, it seems that he was a very stupid one as well.

The night was absolutely freezing in the little town in the middle of nowhere where they had just finished a case. There was a nice little lake, only mostly frozen, next to the hotel the four of them were staying in. Jack thought the place was good for thinking.

He should have been more aware of the 'only mostly frozen' part, since he stepped into it, without paying much attention and was quickly swallowed by the cold water.

He knew how to swim, but it was a lot harder to do it when he could barely feel his limbs. It was already freezing outside the water, but being actually there felt like being buried in snow.

He tried to get out of the water a few times, but apparently, keeping himself afloat was the most his limbs seemed to be capable of.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed there, trying to get out. He also wasn't sure what the hell was going through Dean's mind for him to show up there in the middle of the night, but he was glad he was. Maybe he just somehow felt that something was wrong. 

Dean found him and took him out of the freezing water, but outside just seemed even colder.

"Jeez, kid. What did you do?" Dean asked, exasperated. "C'mon, I'm carrying you back."

Jack supposedly Dean did so, but the whole way to the room was mostly blurs. He couldn't really think about anything else.

He heard more exasperated voices, and felt his body being moved, but it felt like he was not in control of anything that was going on. He was not fully there.

Jack felt dizzy, he could hear someone, maybe Castiel?, telling him to keep his eyes open, but it was just too hard. He couldn't do it.

He closed his eyes. It was supposed to be only a blink, but once he opened them again, someone was putting a sweater on him. He was already wearing different pants and his wet clothes were tossed in a corner of the room.

His eyes were still heavy, but he didn't want to blink and lose time again.

Jack tried to talk, but he ended up letting out a cough and a weak one at that. He had never felt this weak before.

"Hey, hey. Don't talk, alright? We're warming you up." Sam said, quickly putting a blanket over him. "You're fine, but I need you to save some strength."

Jack nodded. That seemed reasonable. Just not passing out was taking a lot of strength and he could see how much he was shivering even through the now three warm blankets over him.

He felt something on his head... maybe a towel? It felt fluffy like a towel and it made sense for them to want to dry his hair a little.

He blinked again, and suddenly Castiel was in front of him with big, worried blue eyes.

"I think this might help." He said, before touching his forehead lightly. Jack could feel Castiel's power through him and _God,_ how he missed his own grace.

It took a few seconds but things soon became less and less blurry. Jack also didn't feel about to pass out, so that was good.

"His lips aren't blue anymore." Sam said, a relieved sigh leaving his mouth soon after. "Hey, kid. You feel better?"

Jack nodded.  
"I'm- I'm sorry for all the trouble." Was the first thing that left his lips. The three of them had a lot on their plate already, Jack shouldn't add to that.

"You don't need to be sorry, you need to be warm." Dean told him. "What the fuck even happened to you there?"

"What he means, Jack... is that we're worried about you." Sam rushed to say. Dean wasn't extremely gifted when it came to showing his feelings. "You've been really down since you lost your powers."

Jack frowned. Yeah, that's exactly why he needed to apologize in the first place. He became useless when he lost his grace.

"That's why I'm sorry. I've been dragging you down. I've got nothing to offer now." He admitted, trying to shrug, but the blankets got in the way.

"You don't need to offer something for us to care about you, Jack. We're your family." Castiel reminded him. "And you're not dragging anyone down. Dean and Sam have no powers either."

"But they had their whole lives to train for this." Jack argued. He, on the other hand, was only on this earth for a few years now.

"And you'll train and get better. Then, when your grace is restored, you'll have both powers _and_ training." Sam assured him. He had a point, that seemed good.

"Pretty badass, huh?" Dean said, making Sam roll his eyes a little. Jack couldn't help but let out a small smile.

"I guess what we're trying to ask here, Jack... is if what happened there was really an accident?" Sam said. "This isn't an accusation, I promise. But I think everyone in this room knows how hopeless and dark some times can be, and how some... unpleasant thoughts can appear on our minds."

Oh.   
So that's what this was about? They thought Jack was trying to _kill himself?_ He cannot blame them for thinking that, he knows he might have been showing some warning signs.

"What? No. No, never." He answered. "I know I've been weird and, yeah, I'm really upset about my powers. But I wouldn't do that, I swear."

"Jack, if something is happening we need to know, so we can help." Castiel reminded him, just in case he was keeping things from them.

"I know. Thank you for that." Jack said. "But I... I wouldn't do that. I mean, not now that I have you guys. I would never leave you behind."

He tried to kill himself when he was a few days old, when Dean hated him and nothing made sense, but that was different. Those were different times.

He had a family now and he couldn't do something that would hurt them this much.

"Alright, we believe you." Sam assured. "But you have to promise you'll tell one of us if things get worse."

"I promise." He said, nodding. And he planed to keep it. He knew he could count on them. Sam smiled, and gave him a light kiss on the forehead, like a father putting their kid to sleep... I mean, isn't that exactly what he was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's always someone who would miss you if you were gone. Always.


	22. Give me one more, higher, another one to take the sting away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A study in Sam's demon blood addiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do these tacos taste funny to you?
> 
> Here we go! Obviously, set back when Sam had the addiction plotline going (those were the times, man). Title from "eraser". Enjoy! ♡ 
> 
> Warnings: addiction, canon-typical violence (slightly mentioned only)

You see, addiction is a tricky thing.

Sam never imagined he would end up _this_ deep in an addiction at all. Sure, none of the Winchesters had exactly a perfect relationship with alcohol, but growing up with John and Dean, Sam figured he turned out as fine as one could when it came to it.

So, alcohol wasn't his poison. Well, he kinda wished his addiction was as simple as that. Something that plagued many people around the globe, a _normal_ vice.

But when was anything about Sam Winchester and his life ever normal? No, he was addicted to demon blood. Fucking demon blood.

If you had told Sam a few years before that that he would be getting high from sucking blood from a demon, he'd think you were insane. Hell, he didn't even know he had demon blood to begin with.

It was supposed to be about his powers only. He needed to be strong, to be in his best shape, if he wanted to save the world. Sam and Dean were the heros, they will always choose to save everyone. That was all he wanted.

He wasn't supposed to enjoy it even. For fuck's sake, it's _blood._ Cursed or not, Sam was only a human, not a vampire or werewolf or any creature that was supposed to like this.

The thing is, it wasn't as gross as he thought it would be. Some time ago he would have associated demons with something disgusting and terrible, but it felt less and less like that every time he drank.

It became more normal with every sip he took. It became just another thing he did, another thing he _had to_ do. Soon he didn't even need to think about it, he just did it.

There was also Ruby, who made everything _oh_ so much more fun. She may be a heartless bitch, but she knew how to play the game. She convinced him of everything she wanted.

Ruby played him perfectly and he let her. Sam was completely blinded, not only by her but by everything that was happening at the time. 

In his defense, there were a lot of things going on in his life. It was easy to convince himself she was an ally, because he needed more of those.

So he went from enjoying demon blood to _craving_ it. He loved how that made him feel, how powerful he would become and he wanted more. It felt like it was on his mind all the time.

Like the textbook addicted he was, he told himself he could stop it whenever he wanted. He knew what he was doing. Just because he wanted something didn't mean he was addicted, right? He was in control.

He wasn't in control. The shame he felt when Dean caught him with a mouthful of blood proved that. Disappointing his brother was probably the worst part about everything.

But that wasn't what he felt when he was locked up, withdrawal kicking in. He just wanted to be _out._ He needed more, he needed to feel that high again.

Sam was sweating and getting goosebumps, his body on fire. He wished someone would fucking understand. He just needed a little bit of blood to feel better. Just a sip, he was sure it would do the trick.

But Dean and Bobby were strong and Sam survived the withdrawal period. It was agonizing, but with a clear head Sam knew he had needed it.

Things got better. Not the best, but better. Ideally, he would have gotten some help, some real help, to deal with his addiction, but obviously he couldn't just walk up to a doctor and say "Hey, what do you recommend for withdrawal symptoms of demon blood addiction?"

Yeah, he would end up in a mental institution. There were worse things he and Dean had needed medical care for, but end up dealing with it themselves. Being a hunter didn't have a lot of perks.

So, yeah, despite shaking his relationship with his brother a bit, nothing they couldn't manage, those two had been through worse, his addiction was mostly managed.  
  
He thought that meant he would never feel the _craving_ again. He knew he would want it, he knew he would miss the feeling that being that high brought him. But the violent, mind-numbing craving? He thought that was over for good.

But then Hunger visited the Earth. And there was nothing Sam was hungrier for than demon blood.

He didn't realize how bad he still wanted it until he realized that this all-powerful being could look inside his soul and quickly notice that this was the one thing Sam desperately wanted.

He had been deprived of so many things all through his life, and out of all those things the one was truly hungry for was... demon blood? Well, so much for thinking he was 'cured'.

He knew it was hard for Dean to leave him cuffed in that hotel room. He also knew Dean was a little disappointed in him, but he didn't want to dwell on that.

It was utterly ridiculous that just when he was starting to lose his mind with how much he craved, two demons just showed up.

He felt like a wild animal, caged and hungry, seeing two defenseless little prey being thrown in its cage. The demons had no idea what they were even getting themselves into.

Tasting it again was bliss. He felt like reuniting with a long-lost friend, and everything was right in the world again. He felt powerful, invincible. For a moment, he forgot why he had stopped in the first place.

But this time he was strong enough. He had no idea how, but he wasn't about to take the time to wonder. He just counted it as a blessing.

The important thing was that he managed to do it. He refused the offer Hunger made him. He looked that age-old entity in the eyes and said no. There was a lot of power in that as well.

It had been hard, possibly one of the hardest thing he had done, physically speaking. And that was saying a lot, considering the life he lived.

After that, he stopped deluding himself that this was a thing he had beaten already. No, he needed to stay vigilant. He never knew when the urge would strike again.

Maybe in a few years it would be okay. Maybe there would be a time he would barely remember this time of his life, his addiction would be a mere memory, a dark one.

But he shouldn't be as arrogant as to think that this would happen anytime soon. Some things took time and he needed to be as patient with himself as he was with others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't my besr work, but I love demon blood! Sam. See you tomorrow.


	23. When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is exhausted. He can't sleep because of the nighmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's a whumpee gotta do to get some sleep around here?
> 
> Here we go. This one make it seem that I'm such a FG stan, but I actually have mixed feelings about her. In this, she's an angel though. Title from Bury a friend.  
> Enjoy! ♡
> 
> Warnings: nightmares, trauma, wrong perceptions about mental health, a character is afraid to be seem as "crazy" for needing a therapist

Carlos was just so fucking tired.

It was hard to keep himself awake during classes, which was unfortunate since school in Auradon was so much more interesting than on the Isle.

But lately, he just couldn't sleep. No, actually he could, but he didn't _stay_ asleep. He was having nightmares every single night, sometimes multiple times in the same one.

It was always something about the Isle. Often, it was a memory being replayed. Bullies beating him up, his mother burning him with her cigarets, the awful conditions he used to live in.

Other times it was things about the Isle invading his current life. His mother escaping and going after him, or him being sent back there after doing something wrong.

It always left him too terrified to go back to sleep. And even when he managed to, the nightmares would come back again. He was stuck in this never-ending cycle.

"Do you guys have nightmares, sometimes?" Carlos asked his friends during lunch break. "About the Isle?"

There were only him, Evie, Jay and Mal sitting on the table, so he thought it would be a good idea to ask at that moment. He needed to know if he was being the only one.

Evie shrugged.  
"Not really." She revealed. "I have many... thoughts about the Isle. Things I remember right when I want to forget them. But not many nightmares."

Everyone had their own stuff to deal with, so it would make sense that they would deal with them in different ways.

Mal hesitated before speaking. She was a leader, it was even harder for her to show weakness. They were starting to learn that maybe showing emotions didn't mean they were weak.

"I... I do sometimes." She admitted, not meeting any of their eyes. "Mostly when I have bad days. But they're not too terrible, you know? Nothing I can't take."

Which meant that they were probably terrible and she didn't want to talk about it. Carlos could read that easily and so could Evie and Jay. That was how they worked.

Mal knew they realized she wasn't being totally open, but she also knew they wouldn't pressure her to talk about it. It was already hard to say anything at all.

"The ones I have are pretty awful." Jay confessed. "I can't go back to sleep after a nightmare. But at least they don't happen so often."

Well, Carlos felt less like a freak now that he knew his friends felt that way as well, but his case was still the worst. He could barely keep up with the conversation he initiated, that's how exhausted he was.

It was weird that their brains would keep trying to remind them of things they were supposed to leave behind. Hasn't Carlos suffered enough when he was _actually_ on the Isle? None of it made sense to him.

"I've been having a hard time." It was his turn to share. "I can barely sleep at all. I couldn't pay attention to a single class today."

It was just so unfair that his mind kept replaying the past instead of letting him enjoy the present. He just wanted to be free from the things that hurt him.

Jay patted his shoulder in somewhat of a comfort gesture, and both of the girls offered sympathetic expressions. There wasn't much they could do.

"You should try to sleep as soon as class is over." Evie advised. "Or you might just collapse. Your body needs sleep."  
•• 

His body apparently needed sleep so bad he ended up sleeping during two different classes, which sent him to detention. As if the nightmares themselves weren't bad enough...

He hated misbehaving by Auradon standards now that they lived there. In fact, Carlos didn't really enjoy it when they were on the Isle either, he just did what needed to be done.

But now, everyone was actually avoiding to break the rules. So he didn't like doing things he wasn't supposed to, it felt like giving a reason for people who said they were destined to be just like their parents. No, Carlos could totally fit in and play by their rules, he  _swears._

He was trying really hard to stay concentrated so he didn't fall asleep during detention as well. It would likely lead to more detention.

It didn't help that Carlos was literally the only other kid there that day. The only day both Mal and Jay manage to stay completely away from trouble was the one Carlos had to go and mess up. Great.

"Mr. de Vil!" Fairy Godmother called, noticing how he was already close to fall asleep again. "I expected you to be a little more respectful and pay attention."

"I'm sorry." He said, truly ashamed. "It's just..." He trailed off. She probably didn't want to hear his excuses anyway. He was in the wrong and would be punished for it.

Instead, Fairy Godmother frowned at him.  
"What's it, dear?" She asked, looking almost genuinely concerned. "Have you been having trouble sleeping?"

Carlos gulped. He didn't like the idea of admitting he wasn't fitting in as nicely as everyone assumed he was. But lying was useless and would only bring him more trouble after.

"Yeah. I've been having... nightmares." He explained, looking down. "A lot of them. They're keeping me awake all night."

She looked really sympathetic at that.  
"Oh, sweetie, why didn't you say so?" She asked. "That seemed like the type of issue you could benefit from discussing in therapy. Until then, I could allow a spell to keep you-"

"I don't need shrinks, thanks. I... I'm just a little troubled, not crazy." He was quick to explain. "I promise you don't need to send me to some institution or whatever. You know what? I already feel better... I- I guess I just needed to talk about it."

There was no way he was giving them an excuse to look for everything that was wrong with his brain, with _him._ No, no, he was already seen differently by being Cruella's son, he didn't need any of that shit.

Maybe it was all an elaborate to plan to deem his as too broken to be Auradon and either send him back or lock him up somewhere. He wouldn't fall for it.

"Carlos, please, don't lie to me. Taking care of your mental health, and physical too since at this rate you might pass out from exhaustion, is not being crazy." She explained. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Hm, yeah. Of course." He would love to have the focus of the conversation away from him.

"I've been seeing a therapist for a few months now. I realized I wasn't being the best mother I could be, and I needed that to change... for Jane." She told him. "Everyone has issues, and seeing a professional can be really helpful."

Carlos was shocked. He didn't realize this was just a thing people could do... just seeing a doctor to help solve their issues and work on what they needed help with.

"You... you really think it's okay, then? Like... it wouldn't make me crazy? People wouldn't think I'm crazy?" He asked, still a little afraid.

"Most people wouldn't think that, but they don't even need to know. It's your secret to keep or not." Fairy godmother explained. "Look... you don't have to decide now. I can prescribe you a spell to help with the sleeping and then, with your head a little bit clearer you can choose what you want."

Carlos nodded. Yeah, that... that sounded good.

It was weird, having an adult actually making an effort to help him and offering support. He never had that before, but he could certainly grow used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'd really appreciate comments and kudos. More coming soon!


	24. Now we've got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is kidnapped by the pirates, but it's not what you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're not making any sense
> 
> Late again, I know. So... I keep hurting Carlos, I literally cannot stop. I'm sorry. Also, technically speaking, the pirates are the whumpers here, but they're also not 'cause I love them very much and can't write them evil. Title from Bad Blood. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> Warnings: kidnapping, brief mention of torture

Carlos didn't like feeling helpless.

On the Isle, being helpless meant you were as good as dead. So you needed to come up with your own ways to survive and they had to be good ones.

Being blindfolded and tied up certainly made one feel helpless.

He had been kidnapped by the pirates, no idea as to why. He assumed he must be somewhere in the ship but be was also blindfolded as they walked there, so he couldn't know for sure.

Carlos startled at the sound of a door opening and steps coming his way. He didn't know what were their intentions, but they couldn't be good.

"Well, I see Gil and the others did a good job. You're here and still in one piece." He heard Uma's voice. "Now we can get started."

Carlos waited for someone to take off the cloth from his eyes, but no one did. He supposed it made sense, it did make him feel more vulnerable.

"What do you want?" Carlos asked. He was tired from being afraid, if they wanted to torture him or something, he could take it. "You took me just to spite Mal?"

"Oh, please, pup." Harry's voice startled Carlos once again. "Uma's life doesn't revolve around your little leader."

"I don't care about Mal. But I do care about things that could improve my life." She explained. "And I've heard you've got something I might want."

That... that wasn't good. He knew what she was talking about and that was a bad sign.

He built a control, a few weeks ago, that managed to make a small hole on the barrier, only for a couple of seconds. It was a big achievement, he knew that. What he didn't know was _how_ he had managed that or how he could make it on bigger proportions.

Of course, no one else was supposed to know about it. Hell, he thought he and his friends were doing a pretty good job of keeping that a secret.

"So, I'm gonna ask you one time." Uma warned him. "How did you break the barrier?"

You see, he was in a delicate situation. If he had been _successful_ he wouldn't mind sharing his invention with other kids. He didn't want anyone who didn't deserve it suffering on that place.

But he wasn't. He tried to make the control function better, he spent days working on it, but nothing happened. He wouldn't exactly give up on it, but he needed to be realistic and admit it would probably take a long while to have something concrete.

Which was really unfortunate if that was the only way out of a kidnapping.

"Go on, tell us how you made a hole in the barrier." Her voice sounded like a treat. He didn't need to be able to see her to know she meant it.

"I- I had a controller. I pushed a button and it did that." He explained. "It was just a tiny, tiny hole. Y-you wouldn't be able to pass through it."

"Then make a new one, bigger this time." Uma said, simply. "We want out as much as you do."

"I know! But- but I can't. The control stopped working in a few seconds and I can't make it work again." He explained, not sure it would be enough to convince them.

Next thing he knew, the blindfold wasn't on his face anymore. He blank a few times to get used to the light.

"You think we're kidding, pup?" Harry asked. "You think this is a joke? Or do you think we're stupid, then?"

Yeah, probably not enough to convince them.  
"That's the truth, I swear! Why would I keep something like that to myself?" Carlos said. "I know all the kids want a way out."

"Because you're Mal's and she hates me." Uma explained. "But you can bet your ass, we're not letting you escape and leave us trapped here."

Carlos gulped. That sounded a lot like a threat.

"Are you... are you... going to torture it out of me?" He asked. "Because I told you the truth. You'll end up killing me and still getting nothing."

Uma looked at him like he had grown a second head right in front of her eyes.

"No, what the fuck? We don't hurt people, unless they really, really deserve it." She said. "Really, what did Mal tell you about us?"

Well, she did say the pirates were dangerous and could do anything to get back at her, but Carlos decided not to say anything.

"Well, not that torturing you doesn't seem fun..." Harry piped in, raising his hook as he spoke.

Uma realized Carlos was genuinely afraid and put a stop to that.  
"He's joking. He won't touch you." She explained. "We're not monsters, we want the same things you do."

"Why do you... why do you think I'd be that selfish?" Carlos asked. "I know how much it sucks to live here. Why would I discover a way out and keep it from other kids?"

"Because you're Mal's, I told you that." Uma insisted. "If Mal told you to leave us behind, you would."

"Mal is not that bad either. She wouldn't let your little feud get in the way of something this big, I don't think so." He defended his friend. "And if she did I wouldn't back her up."

That seemed to surprise them, and it surprised Carlos as well. He was loyal to a fault and he loved his friends, but he knew what living there did to the kids. He wouldn't wish that on any of them, not even the pirates.

"You'd.. you'd really disobey Mal for us?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, not you specifically, but yeah... I'd disobey Mal if it meant saving any kid from this place." He explained. "None of us deserve this."

Uma stopped to think for a second. Carlos felt a lot less afraid now that he understood where she was coming from.

"Just... just let him go." She said to Harry. "Look, Carlos, if I find out you lied to me about this..."

It was supposed to be a treat, but for the first time Carlos could see some vulnerability showing in Uma. It would break her to trust someone else after so long and having them break that trust.

"I didn't." He promised. "This is bigger than whatever Mal and you have."

Uma nodded, before turning on her heels and leaving. Harry kneeled beside him and untied his arms.  
Even him seemed less threatening now.

"You better not be lying to her..." He say through gritted teeth. It was well-known that Harry flipped his shit if someone dared to disrespect his captain.

"You know... Mal and Uma are not that different. They're not bad people." Carlos mused. "Maybe it's up to us to stop that little feud."

Harry chuckled.  
"Well, good luck with that, pup." He said. "And be careful on your way back." He winked at him.

Yeah, maybe there was still a way to mend that friendship...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I love them a lot. See you guys soon.


	25. All I know is I can't live without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some of Alec's thoughts on 2x18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll just collapse right here, thanks
> 
> I'm late again, I know. Life is making things hard rn, but I'll catch up until the end, I promise. I don't even know what's going on anymore, but let's give Alec the Big Sad. Title from "Safe inside". Enjoy! ♡   
> Also, I'm a completely, utterly dumbass and now the summary to my story doesn't fit the summary box on ao3. So I'll put it here: https://just-a-glittery-fan.tumblr.com/post/633041467810758656/so-about-whumptober
> 
> Warnings: Eh... maybe self-worth issues?

Alec's vision is blurry. That may not be so bad, since he's not sure he could take watching Magnus walk away as clear as day.

At least his tears were good for that, making things blurry, shielding him from one last look as the love of his life walked away.

It seemed like the scene unfolded in slow motion, just to make it as painful as possible for him. Maybe destiny was trying to punish him for his actions.

He knew he had messed up, _of course_ he knew. He should have told Magnus about the sword as soon as he heard about it. Both as a boyfriend and as someone who could be directly impacted by that, Magnus deserved to know.

Alec had the perfect opportunity to do it. He should have ignored what his father said and told Magnus. He knew that. Unfortunately, he ignored what he needed to do and it caused him this.

Watching Magnus walk away was one of the hardest things that Alec ever did. Until that point, he genuinely thought he could fix it, they could work through their problems.

But it turned out the damage was bigger than he expected. Which means he really fucked up, since he already knew it was pretty bad.

Watching the elevator door's closing, as Magnus walked again from him, maybe for good, made his chest physically ache. He had never felt emotion this strongly before.

It only made him more aware of how much he loved Magnus. It's not like he didn't know that already, of course he did. But how much it hurt to see him leaving, reminded Alec of that. Reminded him _exactly_ what he was losing.

He couldn't say Magnus was wrong either. He couldn't blame anyone else, but himself. Alec knew Magnus had a duty to his people, Alec knew they needed him. Alec understood duty better than anyone.

So, he understood Magnus. He could see where the other man was from, especially considering how many times Shadowhunters had been awful to his people. Lying to them about the soul sword was just the tip of the iceberg.

Not that Alec had any experience with breakups, or relationships for that matter, but he thought it might be easier if the blame was split. If he didn't know that there was this _one thing_ he could have done and things would be different.

Deep down, Alec always knew that, if they ever had to end, he would be the one to fail. Maybe it was just his insecurities and fear of failure acting up, but he felt like he had tendency to disappoint people.

He couldn't have imagined it would be quite like this, though. He didn't think he'd make one decision and it would be a deal breaker.

Honestly, and what for? For what exactly had he risked his relationship? Alright, maybe the bad timing made things worse, but ultimately why would he risk disappointing Magnus like that?

Because his father told him to? For the first time in his life, Alec was starting to let go of the mindset that he needed to appease his parents with every single one of his life choices. Goddamn it, Magnus was the one who helped him realize he should start living for himself.

To keep downworlders in the dark about things that impacted them? They weren't even completely sure that the rune Clary had drawn was permanent, that the sword couldn't ever be active again. At least the leaders should be informed.

Alec knew how much downworlders, how Magnus specifically, had suffered because of incompetent and bigoted shadowhunter leaders. By the angel, he was so fucking ashamed.

He didn't tell anyone what happened, not exactly eager to have to explain exactly how much he had fucked up or how bad he felt. But he knew Izzy and Jace knew something was up.

His sister could tell he had been crying. She was good at picking up these things, and kept silently inquiring him with a worried expression, but he pretended not to notice.

He knew Jace could feel his distress through the bound, but at least his brother was more discreet about it. He did throw a few confused glances, but stopped once he realized Alec didn't want to talk about it.

A couple hours after that, alone in his room, Alec tried to cry himself to sleep, but all he could was keep crying. He felt pathetic.

It was his first heartbreak. It made him feel like a school boy whose little crush didn't like him back to think of it like that. No, it was a lot deeper than this a lot harder.

He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway, so he started contemplating his options and what that meant for him.

Should he try to win Magnus back? Probably not now, not when the man was still mad at him, not when they were in the middle of a war. But maybe later? Maybe he could try to prove he could be better?

Or should he... try to move on? The thought was laughable. Moving on from Magnus? Alec had known how it was to have _everything,_ and then he lost it. Could someone just keep going with their life after something like that?

Did everyone feel like that after a breakup? He felt like they didn't. People wouldn't survive going through this so many times in their lifetime if it was like that for them as well.

No, he felt like that because Magnus was the one for him. There was no one in the world who could even compare. It wasn't just a breakup, it wasn't just a heartbreak.

With a sharp intake of breath, he realized that he couldn't imagine himself existing without Magnus. He couldn't close his eyes and imagine himself in a few years without Magnus by his side.

He realized there wasn't a version of the future in his mind, where he was there but Magnus wasn't. Alec just couldn't fathom the thought, even if he knew it might be a possibility.

By the Angel, Alec couldn't live without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to post the next one today. I'm trying, I swear...😂  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos so far.


	26. Sometimes we gotta lean, lean on someone else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay gets a bad head injury which leaves him temporally blind. He hates that he has trouble adjusting and he hates asking for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought the head trauma was bad...
> 
> Yep, second one today. Not late anymore. So, I think this one is pretty cute. Title from "Edge of Great" which is a BOP and you should listen. Enjoy! ♡  
> Here's what would be the full summary for this work as a whole if it fitted in the box: https://just-a-glittery-fan.tumblr.com/post/633041467810758656/so-about-whumptober
> 
> ⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Injury, self-worth issues. This whole thing relies on INTERNALIZED ABLEISM, so if this could be upsetting to you, please, be safe.

Temporary blindness. That's what the doctor had called it.

Jay didn't like the term, because he was _not blind,_ ok? He could see shapes, and lights, and colors and even blurry figures! His vision was just... bad. But he _could_ see.

Head trauma was a fucking bitch, and Jay's brain was playing tricks on him. At least all doctors agreed that it was only for a little while, things would go back to normal eventually. He just had to wait.

Which was unfortunate, because Jay isn't a patient person by nature. He just does things here and now, thinking about it later. Which is probably the reason he gave himself a fucking head trauma, but hey, everyone knew he could be a little reckless.

Thank Evil that happened in Auradon and not back at the Isle. They had no doctors back there and Jay was pretty sure he might have ended up permanently blind for real or even dead.

Still, it absolutely sucked. No one knew exactly when it would come back, they just agreed it would eventually. Which meant no tourney or anything fun for him until then.

What he hated the most was how helpless he felt. He was the protector of the group. Sure, Mal's reputation was there to keep them safe, but when there was immediate danger coming their way, Jay was the one responsible to protect them.

But now he couldn't even see danger coming. Realistic, he knew they were in Auradon now, there was no danger coming. But  _still._

They had offered him a cane, but he didn't need it, ok? Fuck, he was tired even from his friends trying to help. He was just _fine_ by himself.

He didn't know why he was still forced to go to school. He never understood what most teachers were saying anyway, and now he couldn't even see them or take notes.

A few days ago, he accidentally knocked some tube Evie was working on during chemistry class.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, E." He said, feeling compelled to help, but forcing himself to stay put. He would only make a bigger mess.

He could tell Evie had taken a moment to calm herself down before answering.  
"It's fine." She said, voice soft despite probably being stressed out. "It wasn't anything dangerous as well."

"I think, I'll just... skip practical classes." He said, embarrassed. "I'm really sorry."

Evie shouldn't be so understanding. He knew how much she hated when people messed with her hard work, especially when it came to chemistry or fashion. But still, she was  _nice_ about it because poor little Jay was injured.

He hated it. He would prefer if she had screamed at him for making a mess.

And Evie wasn't the only one being extra kind. Everyone clearly pitied him so much, and he despised it. He was fine, alright?

Mal was constantly checking on him, to the point where it was just downright annoying. She was always asking how he was, if the doctors had any news, if he needed any help.

She was being as nice and helpful as an AK would and the thought was seriously disturbing. That wasn't like Mal at all.

Deep down, he knew she did it because she cared about him. She was their leader, all three of them were hers, so of course she wanted them to be safe and well cared for. Regardless of her intentions, it was still annoying.

The worst thing was how much he became dependant on Carlos. It's weird because before the injury, they were already inseparable, but now Carlos _had to_ be with him anywhere he went to stop him from falling.

He hated the idea of being an obligation to Carlos. He even said he'd be okay with walking alone, of he fell he would just get up and keep going, but Carlos just sounded horrified at that and insisted he would keep him company.

Now, they were having a small argument about it. You see, Auradon had a thing for proms and balls and all kinds of fancy events. And the next weekend there would be one of thilese things, Jay wasn't sure if it was a ball or a prom, held at their school garden.

Jay said he wouldn't go. There was no point if he couldn't even have fun there. Carlos, either in solidarity or retaliation, said he wouldn't go if Jay stayed back.

"No, no. Please, you go with the girls and have fun." He insisted. "I'll be fine on my own for a few hours. I bet it'll be fun, and you'll eat lots of good food."

"If you think it's going to be so much fun, then come with us." Carlos offered. "I thought you liked this type of things. Or at least the food there."

Jay chuckled. Yeah, that was pretty much accurate.

"Well, yeah, but... not if I'm taking the fun away from you." He explained. "I know you'll spend the party babysitting me if I'm there. You've already done this for a lifetime."

"Hey, c'mon. It's not babysitting." Carlos insisted. "Jay, you're not a burden to me. Or to anyone, for that matter. We just want to help."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the definition of a burden right now. That's why you should go and enjoy the party, I'm just going to drag everyone down." Jay explained, frustrated with everything. "I should be used enough to this to do things on my own by now. I'm not, and you shouldn't be the one to pay the price for that."

Carlos sat down on the bed. His face was nothing but a blur, but Jay just knew he had one of those soft, caring expressions he used when Jay was upset. He wish he could see it.

"I'm not paying the price for anything, Jay. And the accident was like... two weeks and a half ago? Doctor said it could take up to six weeks for your eyesight to come back fully." Carlos reminded him. "It's pretty recent and it's a lot to get used to. No one feels burdened by you struggling to adjust to this. Besides, it's temporary. Things are already getting better."

Yeah, that much was true. When he opened his eyes at the hospital, all he could perceive was light and dark, maybe some intense, sudden movements.

Now he could see colors clearly, perceive different kinds of movements, and even though it was still really blurry, he could distinguish which blur was who. But maybe that was because most of his friends wore one or two signature colors from head to toe.

"Even if it wasn't temporary... you still wouldn't be a burden." Carlos promised.

"Fuck, don't even say something like that." Jay asked him. The thought of staying like this forever haunted him. "Besides, c'mon... you can't honestly say you're not a little bit annoyed?"

Carlos sighed softly, before bringing his hand to play with Jay's hair a little. It was calming for both of them.

"You know, back on the Isle, how I used to be an easy target?" He asked, and Jay nodded. Of course he did. "You remember how when you found out some kids used to beat me up on the way back from school, you started walking me home every goddamn day?"

"It's not the same th-"

"It's exactly the same thing." Carlos assured. "You take care of me, and I take care of you, alright? It can't be one-sided. Did I annoyed you by needing protection for the last two years?"

"No, of course not." He mumbled only, knowing the other boy had a point.

"Then I'm not annoyed that you need a little help." He concluded. "I'm here for you. Always."

He gave Jay a sweet peck on the lips and he smiled. Yeah, maybe it wasn't so bad. At least he had people who cared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this Jay focused one. I think it fits him. Thank you for everyone who left kudos or comments so far.


	27. Standing in the eye of the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil is afraid of the dark and of loud noises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, who had natural disasters on their 2020 bingo card?
> 
> This is actually pretty sweet, I think. It's short too. Title from the song "Touch". Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: insecure!Gil, phobias, child abuse, mentioned violence.

It wasn't hard to understand why the Isle had somewhat frequent power outages.

Everything on that place was barely functional, and that included the electrical network. So, all it took was a windy day or slightly above average strength rain and everyone was in the dark.

It sucked, but it was the way things worked there. Or more accurately, the way things _d_ _idn't _work there. Most people were already used to it, just one of the perks of living on the Isle.

Tonight, there was a storm outside. Loud, scary thunders and everything. So of course, they were out of power and would probably stay like that at least until the next day.

The thing is, Gil hates being in the dark almost as much as he hates loud sounds. It seemed that nights like this one were out to get him.

Being in the dark sucked because you couldn't see danger getting closer. If they're sneaky enough, someone could attack you and you wouldn't even know what hit you until you were down.

You had to be alert all the time to survive that place, so having one of your senses taken away, even if not completely, was never a good thing

Children from the Isle didn't have the luxury of being afraid of the dark for silly reasons, like made-up monsters. No, Gil was afraid of something that could absolutely happen and that was the worst part.

The fear of loud noises was probably his father's fault. The man liked screaming at him a lot more than he should. And it wasn't just that, breaking things and throwing them around also made a lot of noise.

And Evil knows how scared Gil was whenever Gaston went in one of those rage rampages. The loud sound of breaking glass could mean the next thing to be thrown would be directed at him. Gil got many scars like that, and he remembered the stories of each one of them.

Being curled up in his room, trying to ignore his father throwing chairs, vases and glasses around on the living room, hoping Gaston wouldn't be angry enough to direct that anger at him, was a weekly event for him.

So, thunder and darkness together were a big problem for him. He didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse that he was at the ship that night and not at his house.

On one hand, he definitely felt a lot safer on the ship. His father offered no sense of security _at all,_ but Uma and Harry certainly did _._

On the other, he didn't like appearing weak in front of his Captain and first mate. He knew he wasn't the strongest one in the trio, not in any sense, but he hated feeling especially weak.

So, he stood close to one of the candles Harry had put all over the ship, trying to be as far from the darkness as he could, and put on a brave face.

That is, until, of course, a particularly loud thunder made him jump, obviously afraid. Unfortunately, Uma was a very perceptive captain.

"Are you... are you afraid?" She asked, squinting at him. Gil panicked at that, thinking he was about to be laughed at for being so silly.

"N-no. I, I mean... of course not!" He lied through his teeth and he did it badly. He was a terrible liar in general, but especially when it came to her.

"Hey, don't lie to me." She called him out on his bullshit, frowning. "I'm gonna ask you one more time: are you afraid of the storm?"

Gil blushed at being called out on his lie. He knew he wasn't going to convince Uma, besides, lying to the few people that cared about him was quite painful to do.

So, he sighed before admitting.  
"Both the storm and the dark." His voice was basically a whisper, not meeting her eyes. "And I'm sorry for lying."

"You're forgiven." She said simply, shrugging a little.

"It's just... the thunder is just so _loud_ and loud stuff make me think of my dad, and you know how he gets sometimes, which I know I should be over by now." He started rambling quickly. "And the dark is just... you never know what's in there and-"

"It's fine, Gil." She assured, finally getting him to shut up. "Damn, just breathe, alright?"

He took a deep breath, not even realized for how long he talked.  
"It's fine?" He asked, confused and yet hopeful.

"Of course. You don't need to break down your fears and... traumas or whatever, to me." She said. "If we all did that, we'd just be here forever and never get anything done."

"So you don't think that's like... too weak of me?" He asked her for clarification, still not sure.

"Of course not. Everyone is afraid of something." She paused. "Well, except for me, of course."

He chuckled lightly, which made her offer him a small smile in return. That did sound exactly like Uma.

He felt silly for thinking Uma wouldn't understand. Of course she would, she always did. She might be though, but she proved she had her soft side, which she used mostly to take care of her crew.

He felt a little calmer now, her presence being grounding in a way. It was easier not to focus on the darkness and the loud sounds when someone was talking to him.

Of course, that only lasted until another particularly loud thunder was heard and he jumped again, a small whine escaping his lips.

"You should go to my cabin." Uma offered. "It's not perfectly isolated either, but it's the best place on the ship to block outside sounds. I think it'll help."

Gil went wide-eyed. No one was allowed in Uma's cabin except for her and Harry. And even him had to ask for permission first.

"Really? You'd let me do that?" He asked, shocked. She shrugged, not wanting to make it seem like a big deal.

"Yeah. Harry can lend you the keys." She answered. "Now, go, before the storm gets louder." She didn't need to tell him twice.

"Thanks, Uma." He said, smiling at the sweet gesture. "That means a lot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


	28. I feel so useless, misunderstood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stealing is Jay's thing, alright? So he hates when someone else takes things from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such Wow. Many normal. Very oops. 
> 
> Today we have a very grumpy and slightly bruised Jay. Yes, I used a Descendants song (Rotten to the core) in the title of a Descendants one shot, sue me. Enjoy! ♡
> 
> The full summary of the fic couldn't fit the box so it's here: https://just-a-glittery-fan.tumblr.com/post/633041467810758656/so-about-whumptober
> 
> Warnings: violence (not graphic), mild insecurity

All kinds of criminal activity happened on the Isle all the time. Every day you were either a victim or a culprit.

So most people, especially the kids, were glad when the day was over and they weren't seriously injured or no one tried to kill them. Smaller things like someone misleading or stealing from you were _nothing._

Except for Jay. There were few things he hated more than when someone stole from him. He'd take a punch in the face over that, any day.

You see, stealing is _his_ _thing._ Mal is a natural leader, Evie can use her charms to manipulate anyone and Carlos is the smartest person he knows. And Jay's main contribution, besides being the occasional muscle, was stealing.

It was something he was genuinely good at, he had been doing it since he was a little kid. He would go as far as saying that some times he even _liked_ to do it, depending on who he would be stealing from.

He had a reputation among other kids, and those were really important on the Isle. He was lucky that being the son of a well-known villain helped with that, sure, but most of his reputation came from Jay himself, and he took pride in that.

After all, his father's thing was manipulating people, not stealing from them. Jay might have developed this skill as a defense mechanism, but everything you did on the Isle is a defense mechanism in one way or another. Still, what matters is that stealing is something _his,_ something _he_ is known for.

So much that on an Island full of thieves, Jay was _the_ thief. When he was around, everyone watched their pockets more carefully, double checked what was on their hands, pressed their bags closer to their bodies. Not only other kids, but also adults, real, original villains. And even then, he still managed to steal from them.

Someone from outside the Isle could never fully understand why this was so important, but it just was. They all had very little there, so they needed to clutch to what they had. And this skill was what Jay had.

So, obviously, he got fucking pissed whenever someone managed to steal from him.

The day was going absolutely fine until it happened. Alright, some might say it doesn't really count since he got mugged by four guys, which wasn't the same as just stealing. But still, he was furious.

"C'mon, don't beat yourself up over that." Evie said, as she tended to his slightly bruised and greatly scrapped face. "It was four against one, you stood no chance."

"You know, it was really fucking stupid of you to fight them alone. You should just have handed them what you had in your pockets." Mal scolded, rolling her eyes. "What was it, anyway?"

He just shrugged. It didn't matter what it was, he just didn't like people taking things from him. He had a reputation, goddamn it.

"Nothing much. Just some things I stole for the shop." He said. "But I just... don't like when people take things from me. I'm the one who does that."

Carlos looked at him worriedly. He wasn't used to Jay being the end being beat up. And Jay didn't even seem to care the guys had beaten him up at all, he was just upset about random junk from the shop.

"You can't worry us like that, Jay." He said. "Just let them take it. You're lucky you're not hurt badly."

"You're cute when you're worrying about me." He answered. Carlos tried to keep a frown to show Jay he was serious about that, but the boy gave him a bright smile, and suddenly he was gone.

"You two are disgusting." Mal complained, rolling her eyes. "You sure they didn't break anything?"

"Uh... my ribs hurt, but I'm not convinced they're broken?" Jay admitted and Carlos gasped. He had not told them he thought they might be broken in the first place. "But it's just that, I promise. I'm pissed off, but I'm fine."

"You're literally the only person in this world that gets more upset over few cheap stuff than the possibility of breaking a bone." Evie complained. "Unbelievable"

"It's not about what they took." He explained, frustrated. "Stealing is my thing, no one should be able to take things from me."

"First of all, don't compare these two situations. You steal from people by taking things when they can't notice, they literally gang up on you and beat you up." Evie said, sounding exasperated that he wouldn't see a difference.

"I can't believe this is why you got into this fight. C'mon, you're the best at what you do." Carlos pointed out. "And the fact that they had to use violence to do something you could do quietly, in the blink of an eye, proves that."

That made sense. Of course it did, Evie and Carlos were the wise ones. But still... it was just something that messed with him.

Which was ridiculous when you think about how much worse he has had. Out of everything that could happen on the Isle, simple theft would leave him feeling like this.

"And... done." Evie announced, finishing tending to her friend's bruises. "As good as new. Or something like that." He thanked her, and she nodded. She was the best out of them in taking care of these things.

"Alright, we're off to the market." Mal announced. "You two wanna come?"

Jay shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to be outside at all. He just wanted to sit there and dwell on his misery, as dramatic as that sounds.

"Well, I've got a grumpy Jay to take care of." Carlos said, and the girls nodded, leaving their hideout, where they usually hang out.

Logically, Jay knew it wasn't the end of the world. It shouldn't mean that much, but it did.

He was in absolute awe every time Carlos ranted about something he knew a lot about or built something from scrap. As much as flirting did help him occasionally, he'd never come close to absolutely hypnotizing someone as Evie does. He doesn't have Mal's cunning nature that helps her being a leader.

This is the thing he has, so he's not letting it go.

"Jay... I know how important this is to you. I'm not downplaying this, I swear." Carlos said. "But you can't be this reckless if it happens again, ok? Your life is more important than all of this."

"I can... I can try." Jay offered, knowing he would be lying if he said he was sure he would do it.

Carlos smiled softly at him.  
"Would it make you feel better if we cuddled a little?" He asked.

Jay let out a little smile at that.  
"I don't know. But I think you should come here and test that theory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also pretty fluffy. Please, if you can, drop a comment or kudo if you enjoyed it! Only a few days left, guys!


	29. Who cares that you get home safe, who knows you can’t be replaced?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good luck trying to convince Alec Lightwood he needs to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I need a doctor
> 
> I'll try to post everything today or at least shedule the last one, so I don't miss. Thank you for your support so far. Title from "somebody loves you". Enjoy! ♡  
> Warnings: injuries, mentions of death.

"I'm fine." Alec swore, trying to sit up on the bed, but failing miserably at doing so. Magnus gave him a look. Alec was everything but fine.

"You're not. You're really not." Magnus insisted. "And you're going to rest the whole day, at least, before you even think about going back to the Institute, alright?"

Alec groaned. Alright, his boyfriend might be completely right, but that was beside the point. He hated the idea of just... lying there, useless and restless the whole day.

He went to a mission with Jace and Izzy the night before and it had gone completely wrong. They were short on personnel for the week, and that was supposed to be a mission for more people.

Both him and Izzy ended up getting hurt, but the stele had been enough to patch her up, thank the Angel. 

Unfortunately, it seemed that his injuries were worse. So their siblings took him to Magnus, since the mission took place not too far away from his place, hoping he could help. Obviously, he could.

Alec had been out for no more than a couple of hours, but apparently the demon still did a number on him. When he woke up, Izzy, Jace and Magnus were all deeply worried about him. He appreciated they taking care of him, he really did.

He just didn't like feeling like he could be doing something more, could be contributing. That was the worst part about getting injured on a mission. 

After making sure he was alright, their siblings left, making him promise them he wouldn't show up at the Institute until he felt better.

At the moment, Magnus was working hard on making sure that not only Alec kept his promise, but also that he didn't strain himself in any way, shape or form. 

"Can you let me at least text Jace and ask for him to send me some paperwork?" He asked. "Things are really hectic at the Institute this week."

"Alexander, you can't even sit up on the bed." Magnus reminded him, a disappointed frown on his face. "You really need to rest, body and soul."

Easier said than done. Just doing nothing was a foreign concept to him... not even cuddling was on the table since they tried it a few minutes ago and whatever Magnus' arm or legs even brushed close to a bruise, it would hurt like hell. Yeah, that's how bad his injuries were.

Alec didn't like mundane stuff like television too much, and even if he did, there was nothing good on. And even if there was, it was hard for him to concentrate knowing everyone at the Institute must be having a hard time while he did nothing.

It was Halloween week and things always got busier. Demons and ill-intentioned downworlders become bolder since people didn't run away when looking at them and mundanes always thought it was a great moment to summon demons.

So Alec felt utterly useless doing nothing to help. He understood why he couldn't go in an important mission in the state he was, but not even paperwork? He needed to do something.

"It's a difficult part of the year with-" He started to explain, but Magnus already knew all of that. 

"Halloween, I know, I know." He finished for him. "Think of it this way: if you're well-rested and healthy, you'll be a greater fighter. You'll do more going there in a few days than you could by neglecting your needs and leaving right now."

That made a lot of sense, he knew that. He didn't like it, but he knew Magnus had a point.

Alec didn't like feeling useless. For a shadowhunter, it was important to always have a purpose. They usually died young, so they had no time for frivolous things. They did what needed to be done to finish their missions.

And it wasn't even just being a shadowhunter, it also had to do with his personality. It's hard to convince a perfectionist to stay away from their job. 

Magnus, of course, knew this. Even though Alec didn't say anything, he knew he still didn't like the idea. So, Magnus sighed, sitting beside him on the bed. 

"Darling, even if we're not talking about your productivity... you still deserve some time to get better before going back." Magnus said. "Your life is more important than your productivity, Alexander."

His voice was so soft, and so was his stare. Alec felt like he was staring right into his soul. 

"Some shadowhunters might disagree..." Alec said, barely a whisper. He also wasn't brave enough to look his lover in the eye.

"Well, they're wrong." He said simply. "I know they're wrong, Izzy knows, Jace knows, Max knows... everyone who cares about you knows this. You need to take care of yourself, darling."

"It's just... hard to really get that. With who and what I am, with the way I was raised." Alec explained. 

"I know. But, Alec... The thought I'm inevitably losing you in over five decades from now already hurts..." His voice cracked. "But the thought of losing you next week or in a few months because of a reckless mission or badly treated injure? I don't know if I could survive that."

Magnus meant every word and Alec could tell. The pain in his eyes and voice as he said that, it pained Alec as well. 

Talking about one of them dying was always harsh. Even more than most couples, since they could take an educated guess and say who would outlive who. The certainty of the situation hurt. 

"I'm sorry." Was all he managed to say. "I'll try to keep that in mind. I promise I'll respect bedrest time, alright? I don't want to worry you."

Magnus smiled softly, fighting tears that threatned to fall after his emotional words just before. 

"That's all I ask, love. That you try to stay alive." He assured. "That you try with everything you have to stay in one piece."

"I'll do it. For you." Alec promised. Magnus approached him and very gently, making sure he wasn't touching any bruised, leaned over to give him a sweet, brief kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated!


	30. Just 'cause I bought a band-aid doesn't mean I'm able to clean the scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back on the Isle, being sick or injured just meant waiting and hoping for the best. Old habits die hard...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now where did that come from?
> 
> Here we go again, not late anymore. I enjoy this one. Also, I seriously cannot stop hurting Carlos... I'm sorry bb, ily. Title from the song "Blue knees". Enjoy! ♡
> 
> Warnings: a little bit of blood, injuries, hospitals.

Back on the Isle, when you got hurt, you just had to deal with it. They weren't even allowed to use their own magic to heal, since the barrier stopped any magic from working there.

Obviously, hospitals were not a thing either. Auradon barely considered them people for years, they certainly wouldn't go out of their way to make sure they had healthcare. It wasn't like they had many villains who were doctors either.

Someone might have some weird tea to offer and a few bandages for worst injuries, but that was it. You were extremely lucky if you even had someone who cared enough to try to help you when you got sick.

Carlos got hurt more than other kids, with the way his mother treated him and the occasional bullies who mistreated him as well. But at least he was lucky enough to have Jay, Mal and Evie always ready to drop everything to help him. Of course, he also did it back for them all the time.

But them, they were brought to Auradon. Everything there was different, better and brighter, but they were still the same people. As much as they loved it there, old habits die hard.

It took Carlos a while to get used to the soft mattress on his bed and he was still adjusting to all societal norms people from Auradon expected them to know. It could be stressful at times, but he would take that any day if it meant being away from the Isle.

So, it wasn't a big surprise that he still acted like he would on the Isle, in some situations.

For example, he woke up late for his first class, which unfortunately would have an exam in it. He put on his clothes in absolute hurry, got his things as quick as he could and ran out of the room.

With all that hurry, he ended up tripping over his own feet right in the middle of the stairs, which led him to fall. He knew it was going to be a bad fall before it even started.

When he next opened his eyes, he knew he had blacked out. He felt dizzy and his whole body hurt, but his head was the worst.

He reached behind his head and saw it was bleeding a little. He groaned, great, now he would end up missing his test. He would have to take care of the wound and clean the little bit of blood that he surely left in one of the steps.

He reached for his phone and saw he had blacked out for about ten minutes. He tried to get up, but the dizziness got way worse, so he took some time to breathe a little and try again.

Carlos managed to get up, but felt extremely nauseous. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, he had to get out of there.

•

Carlos did it. He managed to get out, find his first-aid kit and fix himself. There was only a little bit of blood, nothing major. He would be fine, but unfortunately still lost his exam. He went on with his day as usual.

Well, as usual as he could with head hurting as much as it did. The nausea would come and go in waves, but he still felt like he could make it through the day.

"'Los, you good?" Jay asked him, worry showing on every single one of his features. "You kinda look like you're almost passing out."

"Yeah... I just, kinda hit my head this morning?" Carlos confessed, a little embarrassed by his clumsiness. "But it's fine. Just hurting a little."

Jay sent him a sympathetic look and kissed his forehead gently. The gesture so sweet that it brought a little smile to Carlos' lips, despite the headache.

"If it's too bad maybe you should go back to the dorm and sleep it off?" Jay suggested. That's what Isle kids did to most injures: hope they got better in the morning.

"No, no. It's fine. I already missed my first class today." Carlos said. "I'm really fine."

As the day went on, things got even worse. Gradually but surely, Carlos could feel himself slipping further away from everything going on. He even threw up during lunch break, and it was hard to get him nauseous enough to actually do that.

He got to his last class of the day, which he only shared with Ben and Jay, out of the people he was closest to. If he could hang on just a little longer, he could get Mal to make him a potion after school.

He told himself he was going to be fine. He just needed to stay strong, his body had seen way worst days. That is, until spots started to dance behind his eyelids.

Carlos planed on telling Jay, who was sitting close to him, that he might pass out anytime, but all he managed to do was turn his head a little and say:

"I- I think..." And he blacked out completely.

When he regained conscience, he knew it must have been worse than he thought. He wasn't in the classroom or anywhere at school, he was in a hospital. Well, at least he supposed so. He had never been in a real hospital before.

But he had heard enough about them to know that the white room, the annoying beeping machine and the fact that these weird clothes were not his were all pretty good indications of where he was.

He saw that Jay was sitting on a chair by his side, looking worried out of his mind. Carlos groaned at how much his body seemed about to explode.

"Oh my fucking God, thank Evil you're awake." Jay said, getting up as soon as he noticed he was awake. "They almost didn't let me stay here with you, since I'm not family-"

"You are." Carlos tried to say it, but it came out as something between a grunt and a whisper. Jay understood though, his expression softening.

"How are you feeling? Wait, I'm going to call the doctor." He said, pressing a button beside Carlos' bed. "They said it's probably because you hit your head. It seems that it was pretty bad..."

It surely felt really bad. Well, at least if he passed out again he was already in a hospital. God, he hoped he didn't need to pay for any of this, it seemed expensive...

The doctor soon rushed through the door, for some reason being followed by Ben? The king looked extremely worried as well.

The doctor asked him some questions, which was really difficult for him to answer with how he felt, and told him what happened in the time he was out.

The doctor also told him he was lucky nothing worse happened to him, considering he had a major concussion. Jay looked pained at that, and Ben didn't even let the man finishing before asking:

"Why didn't you tell anyone you hit your head?" He sounded exasperated. "We could have avoided all of this." He gesture vaguely to the situation they were all in.

"I told Jay after, but it wasn't a big deal, anyway. Or at least I didn't think so." Carlos explained, now able to think more clearly than when he first woke up. "I was running to my first class when I fell down the stairs and-"

"You fell down the stairs?" Jay and Ben asked him at the same. Well, maybe he shouldn't have left this part out, after all.

"Concussions are really serious. You should have seen a doctor." Ben advised him. "Why didn't you? You could have died..."

Carlos thought about that answer. He didn't want to say what was on the tip of his tongue, because he knew it might upset Ben, but his brain was still too fuzzy to give him a better answer.

"Because I'm from the Isle." He said simply.

"What does that-" Ben stopped talking as realization dawned on him. Various flashes of different emotions showed on his face in a matter of seconds.

The doctor looked completely lost, like their conversation was happening in another language. Jay put his hands on Carlos' shoulder lightly, offering support. Ben just looked devastated.

"It's just... we learn to deal with these things over time. We had nothing like this back then. My whole life it was just a matter of waiting and hoping I wouldn't die." He explained, but it only made Ben seem more like a kicked puppy. "I'm sorry."

"We're just used to pushing through stuff like this." Jay added. "It's hard to adapt sometimes."

"You don't need to apologize. I do." Ben said, not meeting their eyes. "I'm sorry it took Auradon so long to get how horrible that place was. God..." He trailed off.

"It's fine." Carlos promised his friend. There was no need for Ben to feel this bad over everything. He wasn't the one who created the Isle.

Sure, his father was. But if there was anything you learned being a VK is that you shouldn't judge someone based on their parents' actions.

"It's not." Ben insisted. "But it's going to be, eventually. Don't worry, though... Healthcare is for all here. None of you will _ever_ have to push through something like that again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> King Ben is here to remind you healthcare is a right😌  
> Thank you for reading! I'd appreciate a comment or kudo. See you guys tomorrow... for the last time :(


	31. I know how much it matters to you, I know that you got daddy issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay wished he was strong enough to hate him. So, he hates himself instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's special: torture
> 
> This is the last one. Thank you for the comments, for the kudos and even just for reading. I appreciate your support, especially since this is the first time I participate in whumptober or even in any month-long writing challenge/event AT ALL. ♡  
> Also, this one kind of comes from a chapter of my finished Descendants long fic where basically all VKs talk about how exactly their parents were abusive and this comes up about Jafar... but you absolutely don't need to read that, it's not even in the same universe, just thought I'd share this as trivia:) Tittle from "Daddy issues". Enjoy! ♡
> 
> ⚠️WARNINGS:⚠️ HEAVILY FOCUSED ON PARENTAL ABUSE. Torture, whipping, child abuse, emotional neglect, self-hatred.

Jay hated his father.

No, that wasn't actually true. Jay _wanted_ to hate his father. He really, really did.

It wasn't like he didn't have it in him to hate people. He hated Cruella, for example, for the shit she put Carlos through. He hated some other people as well, to a lesser degree, but for some reason he couldn't hate Jafar, no matter how much he wanted to.

Maybe it was true that blood is thicker than water and all that. He wasn't sure. It wasn't a widespread concept on the Isle anyway.

When Jay was little, Jafar was utterly and completely indifferent towards him. Sure, he would be violent sometimes, if Jay acted out too much, but in general, he prefered not to give his son any attention at all. Why bother to take care of the little brat at all? Jafar did the minimum to keep his child alive.

That is, until Jay learned how to steal. The boy was really good at it. He was quick, approached silently, and could fool almost anyone he tried to steal from. It was a gift, and Jafar was quick to notice that he could use this to his advantage.

Jay, who was still a kid, was thrilled about that at first. His mother wasn't in the picture, and his father had completely ignored his existence until that point. He wouldn't admit out loud, but he was loving the attention his dad was suddenly giving him.

He realized stealing made his father pay attention, so he practiced as much as he could and stole from as many people as he could muster. If he was good, he was rewarded. If he was good, he was  _loved._

Unfortunately, Jafar only loved what he could steal. Which Jay initially thought he could deal with, no big deal. It was still better than no attention at all, right? But he was underestimating Jafar's greediness.

First, he starting asking for Jay to steal things for him, for the shop. But then he started to ask Jay to bring more things, more valuable things and he yelled at him whenever he decided Jay had stolen too little.

That evolved into Jay needing to fill quotas of how much he needed to steal everyday. And occasionally Jafar would raise those quotas for no particular reason other than how greedy he was.

Having an ability like that on the Isle meant having power. Having valuable things on the Isle was having power. And that was what Jafar craved the most, his thirst for power was what sent him to the Isle on the first place.

So, he started becoming way more aggressive than he used to be. When Jay didn't fill his quotas, yelling turned into throwing objects that turned into punches.

Until he found an old whip with a bunch of other junk on the shop. Apparently, he thought that whipping was a suitable punishment for not stealing enough. And Evil, how Jay _hated_ that fucking thing. Not only was it painful and absolutely humiliating, but left ugly scars in a way punches wouldn't.

His dad never treated him like a son, but that kind of treatment made Jay feel like he was an animal. He was pretty sure that whip must have been meant for horses, in the first place. He really missed the punches and throwing things at him, as bad as they were.

But the absolutely worst thing was that when he _did_ fill his quotas, Jafar would tell him he did good and show him something almost close to a proud smile. And that was enough for Jay not to hate him.

Because Jay craved validation just as much as Jafar craved power. Or, at least, he craved his father's validation. And he hated himself for it.

That day, Jay and Carlos were hanging out at their gang hideout, just talking about everything and nothing. But Jay couldn't concentrate too much, given how much his back hurt.

He had failed to steal enough for the shop the day before, and Jafar was pissed when he got home. Needless to say, he got a really bad whipping.

He accidentally rested his back slightly against the wall and hissed at his mistake. Of course, Carlos noticed that.

"You okay?" He asked, worried. He probably had an idea of what was going on, though. It wasn't the first time it happened and it wouldn't be the last.

"Yeah... I just didn't take much to the shop yesterday." He explained. He knew Carlos understood. "It was bad. But it'll heal."

He had never really had a talk with Carlos about that, not a real one. But it was hard to hide scars all over your back when you were dating someone.

Carlos had never directly asked about it, bless his heart, but his eyes did. So one day Jay just offered that 'My dad gets mad when I don't steal enough. Then, this happens' and Carlos nodded, not wanting Jay to feel pressured to talk.

"I'm sorry." Carlos offered, all soft voice and sad eyes. He touched Jay's face gently, trying to offer comfort. "You don't deserve this."

Jay shrugged. He didn't like talking about it. It hurt, it was utterly humiliating and the only reason he had even told Carlos about was the fact that he couldn't hide the scars from him.

"It's fine. I'll live." He said simply. It wasn't like he was the only kid on that place who went through physical abuse. He should be thankful it wasn't worse.

"I hate him." Carlos said suddenly. His voice completely changing to a vicious tone Jay had never heard before. "I hate him so fucking much for doing this to you."

Carlos hated Jafar the way Jay hated Cruella. Those boys cared more about each other than their own well-being. It would be cute if wasn't so goddamn tragic.

"I wish I hated him too." Jay confessed. Carlos understood the feeling. He took his hands in his, gently caressing his hand with his thumb.

Jay didn't say it out loud, even though he knew his boyfriend would get it, but the thought on his mind was: "Instead I hate myself for not being strong enough to hate him".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for being here with me. I genuinely hope you guys loved this event as much as I did. I hope I can write again next year! Bye, and lots of love❤


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